ok, next time take a gnome. Then when the doctor asks you what is wrong, tell him that wally (obviously the name of every garden gnome) says you don't have an infection. if he doesn't listen, start to get agitated and scared and say, "wally is starting to get upset doc because he thinks you don't believe him, and we don't want to make wally upset!"
how are those pain killers?
adam knows ALL about them... just ask him sometime, or maybe about garden tin soliders..