Frequently Asked Questions

If you really need this explained to you, you need more help than you realize. The term whore in itself is a fairly vulgar and derogatory term and is not acceptable in common speech, so it is appreciated that this and all kinds of similar language not be spoken (or typed) here on eZabel. It has been noted that this is the exception rather than the norm on this public website and this particular term has not been used much as of late.

So a more acceptable and gender considerate term would be Point-Debutante. Or Point-Hoarder, as this rolls off the tongue similar to the expression known to everyone.

In addition, it is particularly inconsiderate to refer to a particular person as a Point-Hoarder or deem them the same as this expression (i.e., "stop GFS Rocks-ing all over my journal you Point-&*$%#..).

These are things that reflect on you as a person, so remember, insensitivity and improper literate decorum only make you look like the fool.

Flomojopoanode said it best...

Think of how Nachos sounds, when you pronounce it real fast and ghetto.
First read this:"not-yours"
Now read this: "notch-yours"
Next read this: "notch-yo's"
Finally read this: "nachos"

Does everything make sense now? Good. Please get me a long slip n'slide covered in baby oil leading into the ocean.

I LIKE BIRDS RULES

why does this say i like birds

The MG's (or sometimes even 'mo gas' as they are known in underground circles) are a secret, powermad, deliberate, indiscriminate society of users who have had a little bit of privelege go to their head. They insidiously seek to stomp out all intelligent communication between those of the rebellion on the free ground known as "THE FORUMS". aaaaaa (angels singing)



Their influence has even started to pervade the long held strongholds codenamed: journals and news stories. Rumors have begun to circulate that this Machiavellian class was responsible for obliterating the former nirvana and bastion of free speech referred to by the rebels as the chat room due to it's inherent lack of dictatorial rule. There was bitter resistance, but alas, our rampart was lost.



Fear not brethren, a new day will dawn. We have plans in the works to send back in time a man with a knowledge of html and a pc. We haven't quite figured out what he will do; but we are sending him anyway as a show of our power and are currently taking submissions. Yes events are set in motion that cannot be stopped. Bestill, i've already said too much. They are at my door and will soon take me away. Viva la revolucion!!

The chat room was taken away simply because no one used it to have any REAL conversations.

Instead, some modifications to the site have been made - some of which are good. Some of which are ... not as good.

First, now the musings can be seen in a "threaded" view, much like the forums. This enables the reader to follow a "conversation" more easily, almost like the chat room. But slower. (If you hate this view, it must be stated by completing the sentence "I dislike the threaded musings view because ... ")

Also, now all "debate topics" can be put in the General Chat. This helps to keep things current and conversations interesting.

Question submitted by: walkngplygrnd

Anything written on this website is owned by the author. eZabel does not endorse rasicm, hate speech, obscene speech, etc, of course. Everything is owned by its author, and the author takes full responsibility. This site is only what you guys (the users) make it. I am not a censor, so, please remember that anything you say/do/write only reflects on you, and not the means you use to say it.

That said, I do retain the right to remove offensive posts or ban users based on action at my own discretion. I am the owner of this site and will do as I please to keep it moderated properly.

Ramen noodles my friend, Ramen noodles. Cheap, quick and nutritious (be wary of retaining water). That's right, ramen nooodles, glass of milk optional.

Apparently, most people on this site are of the opinion that "One of these didn't take Immodium AD, Don't let it be YOU!" is running through the heads of these girls.

Some people have decided that the girl on the right (or possibly the middle, depending on which poster you look at) is Jenna Elfman.

No one asked me, but I'm positive that all of them are sharing one thought- "man, that drummer from band from society looks EXACTLY like the guy from Guns N'Roses"

I, for one, think more time should be spent developing shorter questions instead of making longer answers (coughcoughHUNKPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA)

Actually, according to his hairstylist (I didn't say he had a GOOD hairstylist), unless he meets the demands of the show's creators, his hideous orange, traffic-cone-like shorts will be stolen, ripped to tiny shreds, and left for the seagulls.

Umm. Tell her you might have one or two people over, and you would like her to cook. Enough food will be delivered for at least 50 people. BAM! Dinner for 1 month. Enjoy. Don't forget to invite me.

Make a poll that corresponds to opinions regarding the main news article at the moment. Make 80 options for the poll, so that no one choice is the clear winner. Then, put "hacked" as the last answer. This way people will know that someone edited your poll before it was approved.

First step, GET NAKED. Then, dance around in a gorilla suit, and get all your friends for gorilla beer bowling in suits. Because, that's more important than cutting your stomach with razor blades due to candida.

Or you could put some flowers in your hair, name yourself 'junebug' and have your friends joining you in embracing a tree. But please be careful not to be mistaken for a dendropheliac..

Well. It's because he can be rather controlling at times. Although, you can observe him in many situations claiming it makes the site "easier to follow", and "helps solve world hunger". This is total crap. We know what is going on, even without hitting reply! We are not TOTAL morons!

But, for the sake of Ian's sanity, please hit reply.

Because we want to be. If you dont like it go read your little pop up books and sing :

3...2...1....1....2...3... what the heck is bothering me.

However if you're a hot chick I apologize.

Whoever hacked it in the first place changed it. It currently says "free your mind". Who knows what it will say tomorrow. Perhaps it might be something about a release date for Ezabel for XP for Workgroups .Net Server for Pocket PCs.

Well the answer to this question will vary. So i'll offer up it's many variations.

Some say " Good Times " would be finishing the Crossword puzzle found in the Awake! article in 10 minutes.

Some say " Good Times " would be waking up in newark with no pants, a markered in mustache, and two bull frogs down your shirt.

Then again " Good Times " could just be walking along the waters edge of a beach, barefoot...as fireworks go off

Or " Good Times " could just be walking along the waters edge of a beach, naked... eating a chili dog while to russian midget photographers snap photos.

Whatever it is you're into ... Good Times are to be had by all.

Yes that's right, i bet you would like to know where the eZabel alumni page is to find out about the prestigious history of those who have found out the hard way, just like you will one day that this site will sap your lifeblood.



Or maybe you would like to find the alternate and commentable FAQ page so you can tell everyone how lame FAQ's just like this very one are.



Or you'd like to see the tinastupid.html file to find out why a beloved top user decided this site was just too much for her to take anymore (see first paragraph).



Or you have stared at the ceiling many a night trying to find that 'List of SKAORSK8's Women' (ok, this one is REALLY hard to find, some even say it doesn't exist).



Either way, you will just have to surf this site and find out whether or not they exist the good old fashioned way, or at least until you bring up the subject to G.F.S. Rocks and he provides you with a link directly to it in roughly a millisecond.

Because, he is what is termed a "point whore". Observe him constantly complaining about how the point system "changed" on him, how he was "slighted", and that's the whole reason he left ezabel. That, and he had no one to speak italian to.

In truth, people have been ignoring G.F.S Rocks since he first came to Ezabel. He abused the "scrolling marquee" tags so much that Ian had to add a "disable scrolling marquees" option for everyone.

So, just ignore Mr. G.F.S. Rocks. And if he babbles incessantly, pretend he never existed. He's only doing this for points.

Band from Society's drummer is our leader. We will follow him wherever he choses to go- whether or not he signs with Guns N' Roses as a career move is up to him.

Good Question laddy. Top of the Mornin' to Ya. Me thinks it is because the little fella feels sad. But I tell him " Hey little fella , Dont ye feel so Sad! Drink a Sobe" and He says " But I get so angry at me- self because I dont speak a the english well ".

There are a few lines of thought on this:



Some tend to think that eZabel is a cross section of the world in general and representative of how it should be. Therefore it would be natural that with all backgrounds and shapes and genders some would be bound to be duplicated by the wonderful human beings that inhabit this picturesque internet site. Those people are retarded and should be caned.



Still others feel that with this being a popular site with only REALLY, REALLY cool and hip members, it stands to reason that there would be some who look like a baseball player, some who resemble actors/actresses, female piano player/singer, cartoon characters, etc... the list goes on. These people are misinformed.



Another more truer theory is that there is a freak who for some reason thinks that everybody looks like somebody else. There are also stories about this idiot being fooled and surprised every morning when he looks in the mirror until he realizes who it is he is really looking at.

Yes you can. To see who is on eZabel, simply call everyone you know that is a member here on eZabel and ask them if they are online. Or maybe you could even drive to their house to see if they are at their computer. During the day you might go by their jobs and ask their supervisors if they are stealing precious company money, resources and time by sitting and chatting with friends they will see later on that day anyway.



Or if you want to do it the hard way:



After logging in you can go to the chat room by clicking on the 'Chat' page. Then on the right hand side you will see which users are in the chat room with you (there won't be anyone but katiedid) and which ones are not.



P.S.-While you are there we beg you PLEASE use the chat room for its secondary purpose and actually do some online chatting so that it is not taken away from us and we can justify usage for it's primary function; seeing who else is online, oh and occasionally throw in an elaugh or ewink or egroan for whatever reason you may want to.

It is a little known fact that the 'Song of the Day', an ezabel institution, was initiated by rocksupastar. It is also not common knowledge that, therefore, any song of the day NOT written by this 'bootylicious' character is not an official ezabel song of the day.



The only way it can be any kind of official otherwise is if the alternate (and not as rotund in the rear end) ezabel user classifies it:

e.g. Bad Song of the Day: Anything by a Punk band



P.S.- It must also follow the annoying html format as follows:

Super Sucky Song of the Day: Anything by one of the 'The' Bands

Note: this is not official

She sees the booty of her dreams.

FAQ stands for Flying Aurora Quotas. For those of you that are new to the Internet, you'll find that there are many acronyms that don't really mean anything, but which have the sole purpose of trying to confuse you.

Not really.

Because he is the funniest stand up comedian ever, ever, ever, ever! I don't think I had enough evers there...

There are many reasons for this anomaly. First and foremost, all of the members of these bands are under the pathetic impression that they actually have talent, when in fact they have about as much talent as allen iverson has untattooed body area. Second, the members of these bands are way too busy both promote themselves AND actually play music. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and so the unnecessary things need to be weeded out sometimes.

Therein lies the problem my son. You are TRYING. You can't try. You just do. That and it helps to be really really ridiculously good looking.

(HINT: It also helps to be 4'11, asian, and have a red motorcycle you call "ralph".)

You my friend are Observant.

Well to answer this question we would have to go back to his childhood. However, lets focus on the teenage years...since they were well documented in a documentary series i'd like to call "Saved By The Bell". During his early years he grew up as an awkward child, never really growing into his...well anything. Constantly surrounded by better looking friends, (e.g. zack, a.c.) he began to build up anger and resentment...mostly towards his parents and god for the NON-blessing of ugliness. So When given the oppurtunity, he set into fruition a plan to get back at all those who thought he was ugly: Humanity. So he created EZABEL.COM and exacts absolute power for one simple reason: to pick up chicks. It's always about the chicks.

Maybe you should look back at your childhood. Maybe you're mother didn't hug you enough. Maybe your father didn't play catch with you enough. Maybe your mom never potty trained you and you are here looking for the answer to your deepest and sincerest question " How does one get potty trained?"

Well whatever the choice is, you've just become stupider by reading this. SUCKA !

It's kinda like asking "why is the sky blue?" or "why is the earth round?" or "why don't I fly into outer space when I jump off of the ground?"... nobody really knows. Except maybe Dean because he actually thinks about such things, but I don't think even he really knows.

Well thats because the owner of the site, Dustin Diamond, is busy with a Show Biz career. However as soon as he gets on breaks he will try to fix the defect.

Perhaps they want to get back to a time in their lives when things were more simple. At any rate, no one cares what you looked like when you were 5.

Perhaps Dan, But i'd like to offer up another theory. Maybe their need to place pictures up comes from the fact that thats the last time they looked somewhat cute. Because now they look like they got pimp smacked by the Ugly Hand a million times to many. I mean, thats why my baby picture is up. Hooray for 8 yr olds and their good looks.

Apparently, you can. But, you need to make sure that if you attempt this, you drink at least 3 gallons of water every day for 2 weeks before doing any slicing. You should also talk to your doctor and ask for some ebola medication, because drinking this much water causes ebola, which has something to do with black spots.

No, not that I know of.

Only air craft carriers and sperm whales. Nothing can beat the XBox.

It's short for "lollipop". If somebody says this to you, it usually means they would like to lick you.

It's a chat room, silly, and you can only get onto it with AOL!

There isn't one, bwaahahaha!

just send iwz a message and he'll get get your password for you

She's just a bryte eid gyrl in the wyde whryld, and xstreamle clevr.

That's Dave. Try not to feed him.

Now, move along. These aren't the droids you're looking for.

An EZ message is like an internal email. You pick the username who you would like to send to, and then it goes directly to them via the eZabel server- and they are alerted to this message the next time they log-in.

First, make sure that you can accomodate at least 50 people. Then, check to make sure you have at least one bathroom per 25 people. Then send an EZ message to iwz with your request.

Yeah, he's not anymore.

Update by the funky fresh: I don't think this answer is up to date, but don't worry, I'm sure it will be soon ;)

He definitely does not work hard enough at his job. He spends all his time relating stupid duck stories and quoting lyrics from bad 80's songs.

I honestly believe it's because they both share the same retarded sense of humor. Although, it is entirely possible they are the same person.

I like Birds is quoted as saying:

"There is no reason to my meaness. everyone gets it. especially if you're over 30."

How about you dont qoute me and just let me speak. Well, I wasn't loved much as a child. Never hugged, Never kissed, and rarely talked to. But it's alright, I had my fruit snacks and invisible friends named GORKI.

There is a PayPal link for you to donate money. Keep in mind, PayPal takes a cut of the money if you use a credit card, so donate accordingly.

It has now been changed. The max is now 100k. Limits are only because of server space.

In addition, The Ezabel community does not ENJOY large Pictures of your ugly Face.

You can use it in a normal sense. Using it as an insult is not appropriate.
Answered by: skaorsk8

use "ghey" instead

It's when you verbally attack another person for something they have said because you don't agree, or you felt their comment was useless. Try to avoid this as much as possible.

A lurker is someone who visits the site frequently, yet never posts. There is not much point to this! So get a log-in, and start posting!

Sure. Everyone who's registered can. Go to "add a poll" on the main page, and start filling in choices. Every poll must be approved before it is posted. And there is usually a queue for new polls, so you may have to wait until yours gets posted.

Fortunately, if it hasn't been read yet, you can "unsend" it. Click "sent messages", then "unsend" the message in question.

Push the post button ONCE, and then wait. Otherwise, you end up like Ok4Now.

Probably because you're a college student, or you don't work very hard at your job. Perhaps you should consider what else you COULD be doing instead of wasting time on here. Until you figure that out, though, you are perfectly welcome to stay.

Or simply... You're a Loser.

Of course. To edit, click the "edit" button in the top right hand corner of the journal. To delete, click the "x".

Yes, if you edit your comment within 1 minute, nobody will ever know. After 1 minute is up, others will be shown that you have modified your comment. After 10 minutes, it's locked, and you can't edit your comment ever again.

You must figure this out for yourself. If you really can't figure it out, ask someone for help.

This is described on the Top 10 Users page if you actually read it.

The scores are a calculation of how actively you conrtibute to the community. Musings and Comments are both worth a fraction of a point, News Stories are worth 3 points, and the amount of times you've logged in is worth even less than Musings and Comments.. Journal entries don't count for anything.

UPDATE: Threads are worth more then musings/comments. Polls are worth more than Threads, but less than News Stories.

In an effort to monitor what goes on the front page of the site, all news stories must be approved before everyone can see them. Just wait, eventually it will either be approved, removed, or edited.

Kill yourself

OR

Click the "forgot password" link on the main page. Hopefully it will be emailed to you in a timely fashion.

It is just a lot of random thoughts. At first, no one will pay attention to YOUR random thoughts, because, let's face it, who the heck are you? Eventually people will become interested in what you have to say. (Or, not, in the case of I like Bird's musings.)

nothiiiinnnnggg!! absolutely NOOOTTTHINGGGG!!!!!

Actually... you get a nice EZ message from Ian, welcoming you. How nice! You also can now add musings, journals, and comments.

However, if you are a HOT CHICK you might get some advances from I LIKE BIRDS

eZabel is an online community to bring the Zabel family together. Where they have all gone, I have no idea.