apparently the moment of revalation became the moment of disintegration, or disapation. I've had this kind of thing happen to me....daily. I usually lose my thought in mid-thought, cause I've thought of new stuff, and it's instantly replaced everything I was about to say. Dave, you can vouch for this. So I just stop thinking about it, and eventually it comes to me. As far as missed opportunities secularly, it's better to not dwell on what you've missed, because 1) we can't live when living is regretting, and 2)maybe with the opportunity would have come more opportunities to be tripped up spiritually. Ugh...not that you are doing bad at all, spiritually, but you never know what's going to bring you down. As the Bible says, he who thinks he's standing beware that he does not fall. You'll be fine. :)

I don't want to get into it, really... it just seems my life is a chain of missed oppurtunities and the result of not always thinking things through at times, which I am the one totally at fault...

It reminds me of an illustration that has been used... you have a down pillow that you rip open over a raging river... no matter what you do, you can't gather those feathers back after you let them go.

Yeah, things usually work out... but it's best not to open that pillow in the first place...