I've realized two important things: 1st: I know that to get good, I'm going to have to practice what I know. 2nd: Getting some salsa/merengue music to listen to so I at least know the "hip"...
its hard for some girls to totally follow. sometimes, they are used to dancing with one person. i once had an opportunity to dance with a professional swing dancer, who spent most time dancing a choreographed routine with his partner. when i danced with him it was really comical, bc i wasnt going to lead and neither was he apparently. it was still fun.
i can lead a little, like helping my lead to stay on beat. some guys seem to have big problems with this. but i dont like to really lead. part of the fun of dancing for me is the surprise of not knowing what is going to happen next. plus, id rather spin -alot- and know someone else has my back.