i don't think you love me, you just love my milk allergy. which is a little ridiculous, because it's not like we've ever really hung out and chatted about life, feelings, women or had any crazy adventures together. i think there's going to have to be some pre-requisites like "before you make fun of me, we must have at least had one story that starts out 'don't tell katie' or 'ok so we're both a little tipsy but neither of us is driving' or 'ok so toby is telling people that he was in the Sopranos and I'm a famous underwear model' ...

that's going to be the new rule. and mike qualifies. brian valentine qualifies. but not you. and you have no one to blame but yourself.