during some rough times I wrote this:

i want to bleed from head to toe
let it flow, down my throat
red blood flows like rivers rose
warm outside, but inside cold.

sufficate me, asfixiate me,
desecrate me, i want to go.

cut myself, bleed on you
so you feel as I already do
i'm down and out seen my final bout
blood pouring out with every shout

i want to be without my life force
I want to be dead behind doors
no one to bring down around me
i want to be on my own to see

let me let the red blood flow,
let me let scarlet rivers go
so I can grow and grow and grow
so I can grow, grow cold.