hold on hold on dont u think u should listen to guys about that we know if they myths are true or not and the whole thing about women making the 1st we do like that not cause that means she is easy but its true its less work for us and plus its soo hard to tell if the girl is actualyl interested inus this way they skip all the mind games and get right to the point.
We give you signs you guys are just stupid. We give you so many shots and chances. and usually if the relationship doesnt work out and the woman made the first move she would usually feel like she led the relationship. the guy is suppose to be the head AKA take charge.
yeah, it's a self esteem issue too. quite simply, girls want to be desired. and girls making the first move could make them seem "easy," especially if they make a lot of first moves. traditionally they'd prefer sit at the outskirts of the party and wait for a guy to show deep interest and usher them in. they want the guy to go out of their way and risk being denied to show that he's really serious about a relationship. yeah, a girl who makes the first move will always wonder if the dude is along for the ride or if he was just too shy make that initial move.
i tend to think the guy should make the first move. it's a self esteem issue on the guys side too. it feels good to take that chance and make known to the girl that you want a serious relationship. if she makes the first move it could make him doubt his headship and question who exactly is calling the shots. girls can certainly make the job easy for the guy, by not playing hard to get [i hate that saying] or sending mixed signals. if she's really serious about the guy, the girl should make the guys's task of inquiring about a relationship easy and least stressful as possible. it should never be a shot in th dark, on the guys part. in the end, i really think guys should suck it up and make that move if they want that friend to be something more.
See i knew guys arent completely Clueless.
hail to the king, baby
Wait a minute. Do girls actually *like* the fact that guys are supposed to be the head? I always used to get the impression that sisters, at best, tolerated the fact that brothers were in charge in the congregation and in the family, but that they wouldn't choose that if they had a choice in the matter.
speaking for myself...I appreciate that arrangement.
i definitely would NOT want to be an elder. i'm glad i can't have that job. and in a good relationship, sisters have a say in the family, but sometimes it's nice to have someone else be responsible for the ultimate decision. girls are too emotionally driven sometimes making some decisions really hard.
The arrangement is great..though I must say I wouldn't mind giving talks, or better yet..doing the arrangements for field service and actually having a say on where to go to break! But in the family it just makes sense..I don't think I want to make final decisions, but having a say in them is nice.
It's funny that you mentioned meetings for field service because the PO in my old congregation told me that just because a brother is baptized and under no restrictions does not mean that he should take over for a sister if she has been assigned to do the meeting for field service some day during the week.
We don't have people assigned to do field service..it's just if there's a brother there he takes the lead and if not then one of the pioneer sisters does. But I want to be in charge and do things in a nice orderly way!
Is that still true even if the brother is fairly young? (Say under 19, for example.)
Um..most likely. They'd probably ask him if he wanted to, so as to show proper respect. If he didn't want to then I doubt they would force him to and one of the sisters would have to take the lead.
Interesting. I don't think most of the sisters in my old congregation even asked if I would want to do it when I was the only brother out. That's one of the reasons why I asked the PO about it, and when he gave me that response I decided not to insist on running the meeting for field service.
in our congregation its always the brother who handles meeting for service unless no brother is there then a sister would it doesnt matter how old a person is. and anyway its alot of work i would just rather listen and go whhere im told to.
see...that's why brothers who are reaching out have responsibilities...paul says those brothers reaching out are desirious of a fine work...WORK...oh yes.
I'd really like to know what it means to be "reaching out". It seems to me that the elders have to decide to ask you to do something. What are you supposed to do if the elders never ask? When I was in my old congregation, the only thing I was ever asked to do was give impromptu talks, and that was because I was friends with the Theocratic Ministry School overseer.
Ok, I am a sister and this doesn't involve me at all. But have you ever tried talking to an elder and saying, "Hey, I would really like to be used more in the congregation, is there anything you can suggest that will help me reach this goal?" It might be possible that there is something you are overlooking that prevents you from being used more in your congregation...it's just a thought.
And as a macking moderator, I just want to say that this is totally off the topic of macking.
yeah it's off topic.
let me tell you something - the elders want to find responsible people who WANT the congregation and WANT the meetings to function smoothly. find a way to help that happen. ask the elders during the meeting what setups they need for their parts. get to the meeting early and make sure the stage/sound is set up. go into the library, make sure all the books are being ordered for the library. don't BRAG about what you're doing. word will get back to the elders that you care. just to care. because you want things to function smoothly. and that it's not a joke.
(i wish someone had told me this 4 years ago- i doubt i would have listened, but still, you know?)