Comic Relief (conversation stoppers)

This is the email i got from my friend Stephanie. I laughed so hard.

"DO NOT TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUS---OK?" Have a good laugh
first thing in the morning, never put this in practice, (it will
pass your mind when you are in this situation but, just smile.)!!!!!!!

1.) ' I'M NOT INTERESTED' You might say: "Well, many feel the same way you do, and they're called goats in the Bible. Let me share with you a
scripture that talks about the fate of those goats. (Read Matt. 25:46) Do you want to be cut off?" (Allow for response)

2.) 'I HAVE MY OWN RELIGION' You might say: "Yeah, and I have MY own religion too. See, I'm what you call a "Christian" (Make double quotation gesture with your fingers.) Do you know what "Christians" do? They preach to people. Those that don't preach are called "goats" in the Bible. Do you want to know what happens to "goats"? (Read Matt. 25:46) Do you want to be cut off?" Allow >for response)

3.) 'I'M TOO BUSY' You might say: "No you're not. You were probably
watching TV or something. Don't lie to me. You know who the father of the lie
is? It's Satan. Is he your daddy? Well...I think he is!" (Allow for response)

4.) ' I'LL READ YOUR LITERATURE IF YOU'LL READ MINE' You might say: Hey, this isn't a hostage negotiation here. I'm here to preach to YOU. Now, if you want to preach to ME, you'll have to get up off YOUR lazy behind and come knock on MY door on a Saturday morning. But don't bother because I'M NOT INTERESTED in your beliefs, because I HAVE MY OWN RELIGION and I'M TOO BUSY in the work of the Lord to READ YOUR LITERATURE IF YOU READ MINE!" (Then slam THEIR door in THEIR face)