Point A to POINTLESS LOCKED

It wasn't to long ago that I was here:

**Decision**

I try to know why,
I can't decide,
I don't want to do this yet.

I know the others say,
I'll have a turn someday,
If that's the choice that I make.

All alone is not a curse,
And I'm not the first, girl to know what she wants.

I don't want sympathy, I'll survive
I don't think any man's worth my life, let's be adult about it.

What I can't understand or remember is how I got to this:

**Devistated**

Devistated, understated, I relate with...
What you mean to mean to me only now it seems to be, that couldn't be more wrong,
Even called you up to talk but, my heart could barely speak since I always think you're sweet.

I get blinded by the guise how you respect me, it just affects me.

In the case you weren't aware,
I do more than simply care.
I'm a wreck for you! I am ruined!

I've withstood the battle lines
So I fight here every night...
Try to keep you from my thoughts,
I have truly truly fought...I am staggering watch me drop.
I plead mercy, I plead SEE ME!

So since you're sure it's real than I've lost to an ideal, imagine how I feel...

Devistated
Devistated, understated, I relate with...

____________________________________
Guess it was meant to be. Maybe to bring me down a few pegs, right? Only can you really feel any lower than dirt?