Dating Advice From the Guys RECOVERED
Recovered Conversation
This thread was recovered from the Lost Archive. The original thread was lost in the December 2009 hard drive crash, but the comments survived.
This conversation was recovered from the Lost Archive. Originally posted between December 2008 and March 2009. The original thread content was lost in the December 2009 hard drive crash.
AI Summary
32 Comments
DISCOVERY actually had a piece on human pheromones and where and how they affect our interactions. It touched on why a male might overestimate his draw on a female or assume there is attraction/interest where there isn't.
I ALMOST DIED! Less to do with ego and more to do with biological response. So males tend to "peacock" when they think a female is interested yet a female may feign interest simply to decipher whether a particular male will be compatible; that sounds horrible but it's a biological thing not a conscious response. HA! Science, who knew?!?!?
sounds like an excuse for women to be the jerks that they are!!
Matt you slay me! I would pinch you but you might step on me.
Yeh?
Then I guess men shouldn't bother declaring their love or asking a woman out anymore.
No pity for women complaining that they're single if you're gonna just make it impossible.
No no no, I don't know. DISCOVERY made me say it!
I am ALL FOR the declaring and the asking. I am QUEEN of THE CHEESEBALLS! But I'm happily single at the moment, so no complaints here. I think I'm on lay-away :oP
C'mon, everyone says their "HAPPILY" single... until they meet someone they're absolutely keen on.
I hate how tough girls make it on guys. Accept a compliment and a date once in awhile. You know you want to. Skip the games.. it wastes precious time. It'll make it much easier on both parties. There's a difference between not rushing things and taking forever and a day. Let's not spend eternity with just being nice to each other.
One girl I liked I waited years to tell her, 'cause I thought it wouldn't be accepted by her sooner (guess it didn't matter at the end of the day, as it turns out..but we occasionally keep in touch which is nice). I've tried to change my ways and cut to the chase much quicker. Last girl I told that too, it was after knowing her for just like a 6 hours, within the same week I met her. Let's cut to the chase ladies!
hit that, son
Robbie you are the REAL DEAL-4 serious!
I TOTALLY get where you're coming from, especially regarding --just being nice--. On the other side of the issue, the egocentric delusions when someone genuinely is JUST BEING NICE, can unnecessarily complicate matters. It is true that A LOT of people aren't honest with themselves when it comes to their status but--tough nuggets if they miss out on something good-ya know?
Yeh, bottom line... if you are interested in someone, make it obvious enough. Closure is better than regret of something that maybe coulda been (but you wind up having no idea, 'cause you didn't give it a go). At least get closure. You'll feel much better even if you were rejected or pseudo rejected. And once you've exhausted all the potentials, it's time to move to a new area...Quite like I'm planning to move abroad again and do some country hopping. hahaha
Whew--
Sounds like a heavy deal. If it takes moving or traveling to adjust after a bad go around, best wishes!
:o)
Ok, the humor didn't come across. But, no I didn't have a 'bad go around' at all. I'm not repulsive, I should hope. I have really good relationships with the ladies here. Aside from that, I'm experiencing one of the happiest times of my life so far. I'm really loving NYC (and much more than I thought I would...in fact this was never really intended by me to go and try out), and it will actually be hard for me to leave here if I eventually do. Whether be this year, next year, or maybe I won't wind up moving from here afterall. The friends here are awesome. I'm having the time of my life.
I like living in different places as it is, tho. It's been my plan for years and years.. try living in this place, that place, so on. Makes life interesting. See new places, live in new places, meet loads of new people, get lots of life experience and knowledge about loads of cultures, and so forth. I don't like keeping myself limited, like some sort of self prison. I think it makes more sense to travel, than to not. Don't get stuck in a moment (I bet Gina will like that reference haha). When I have opportunity I try to take advantage of it. Being in a rut is not a lovely thing. I left NJ for NY to get out of a rut I was in, among other things. I couldn't be happier with my decision.
Still, it's on the next place probably...so I get further new experiences, while I still have the chance. For example, Australia has been one country on my mind at the moment, since I only have until age 30 to get the work permit.
I've read all the comments, and some of the main article. I feel like I have something to contribute to the conversation, but I have to finish reading. More to come.
Te he, "After these messages...he'll be riiiight back."
*sigh* guess no 1 got the reference
holy crap. i remember these. wow. they left one out. where a cowboy sings the song and then whistles... and the horse falls from the sky and lands on his head.
actually I did get the reference. Saturday morning cartoons. good times--but i rarely got to watch them. so I taped them. xmen was awesome.
2 GOLD STARS!
=0D
haha... i remember these
I don't care, I'm the man. Seriously, no one else can compare to me. I'm just... the best. I mean, I don't have a big ego or anything. But don't ever try to prove me wrong about this: I rule. You're BANNED.
BANHAMMER!
IAN you are SUCH an exaggerated harasser. As I recall, you were delirious with fever when you wrote this :0P
no, he spilled an apple-tini into his brain/server
meh, never had a big ego. once in a while pride will dictate my actions. once in a blue moon. i don't like it.
Yeah I know.
Basically, you and my other four highly regarded gurus are the exception.
It was time to expand beyond my immediate circle of male wisdom :)
I'm beginning to think you that the five of you should wear special rings and convene weekly in an undisclosed location. =P
i don't think i have a very big ego, if anything i'm always second guessing myself. I do wish I had a little more self confidence, I think sometimes i'm too apologetic and back down when I should be standing up for what i know is right
Wuss... LOL Just kidding.
TLDR
LOL whateves Dan, picking and answering one of the questions towards the intro would have sufficed. Go take your meds ;)
yeah, i couldnt read he whole thing either.
i think guys have an easier time getting over misunderstandings than girls.
speaking for myself, i have often times let my pride get the best of me. it's kind of just part of who i am as a person. not saying its ok, but everybody is different. i have a hard time letting things go sometimes. this has sometimes caused people to say, "wow, that guy is an idiot."
on the other hand, being prideful can be good in some situations. i will always call people out if they are say talking about one of my friends behind there back. or when i was a little kid, if one of my friends was getting bullied or whatever, i would not stand for it. this has sometimes caused people to say "wow, i really admire how you can speak your mind."
in any case being prideful is not good. but you definitely need to have some pride.
Awesome! This is what I need to know!
I would normally agree with you with your first statement, right off the bat.
Guys have an easier time getting over misunderstandings than girls but only in most cases but NOT every case.
Keep 'em coming guys!
1- Substitute prospective for perspective =0P
2- FYI Married male perspective equally valuable
3- Almost forgot to ask:
If there is a female who is NOT romantically interested in a guy- *FACT* but, has a sweet, yet non flirtatious, and outgoing personality what part of that translates in the MALE MIND to "SHE WANTS ME"??? Is it only because you are not familiar with her OR is it because you think VERY HIGHLY of yourself???
I have definitely heard the good ole' ratio excuse. BIG DEAL there are more sisters than brothers. The truth is no matter how much a sister (in full control of her faculties) might want companionship, a lot of these bros (with the maaad confidence and zero or lacking personality) have NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT because they are just plain FUGLY! If I have to wake up next to you I do NOT want to do it screaming, GET OVER YOURSELF!
I am a simple girl, true story. I reason that there is always someone "bigger and better" that way I am rarely disappointed. I have never competed with another woman/female for anything in my life and have ZERO intention of doing so moving forward.
It might sound extreme however every once in a while I must deal with one of these "winners". It can be a bit of a burden to PROVE that you are a "neutral player" when you're simply trying to enjoy your surroundings. Unfortunately I'm referring to:
-Grown men 25+
-Lacking personality, tact, or looks
{FINAL NOTE}I would think it was an individual observation but, I have several different girlfriends from different places and backgrounds that have all experienced what I am referring to AND at least two of them are several years my senior.
*insight?*