an interview with brian regan
by from http://www.brianregan.com
Q: How many quilts have you made?
A: None.
Q: Oh, I thought you made quilts.
A: No, no, I don't make quilts.
Q: Someone told me you made quilts.
A: No, I don't make quilts. I never
made quilts.
Q: Jeepers, I have all these quilt
questions ready.
A: Well, I don't know what to tell you.
Q: What kind of stitching technique
do you use when you make a quilt?
A: What kind of... I told you I don't
make quilts.
Q: Do you use a double cross back
over stitch, or do you use the more traditional hand over single with a
reverse crossover stitch?
A: I don't know why you keep asking
me these questions. I don't make quilts.
Q: Do you own any quilts?
A: No.
Q: Are you planning to own any quilts?
A: No.
Q: None? You don't plan on owning
any quilts?
A: Jeepers Creepers, no!
Q: If you made a quilt, or owned one,
would it have a double cross back
over stitch, or would it have the more traditional hand over single with a
reverse crossover stitch?
A: What is the matter with you?
Q: And I have a follow up question.
A: A follow up question?
Q: Okay, okay, no more quilt questions.
Let me ask you a question about
another topic.
A: Great.
Q: Did you ever visit Thomas Jefferson's Monticello?
A: Yes.
Q: Were there any quilts there?
A: (dumbfounded pause) Were there any quilts there? Boy oh boy, you just don't give up, do you? Listen, I don't know why you're doing this, but I sure am getting peeved.
Q: Peeved? Is that a word?
A: I think it's slang.
Q: Is quilt a word?
A: (pause even longer than the dumbfounded pause) Whew. What am I going to do with you?
Q: Answer my quilt questions.
A: Okay, okay, I'll answer your quilt questions. Give me your best quilt question.
Q: Uh, well, uh, gosh, now that you're
willing to answer a quilt question I can't
think of one.
A: What does that tell you?
Q: Nothing really. Oh wait, I wrote one down. Oh, here it is. Do you believe in God?
A: Well, I uh...
Q: No, I read that wrong! Do you believe God has a quilt?
A: I have had it! (Brian pounds the table with anger.)
AI Summary
8 Comments
A friend of mine gave me a cd of a show Brian Regan did. What a great way to spend an hour. So funny, I want to go see him live sometime.
Check out dates to go: www.brianregan.com
I prefer Carolines in NYC, but I know that's kind of a long way to go--but let me tell you, Carolines is really nice, unlike some other smutty comedy clubs. I think he's playing there in April..
Yeah I so don't find this funny
what! it's awesome. so funny
i concur. usually his stuff rocks.. but this.. was... BLEH
okay, in comparison to his other stuff, it's not as good, but it's still decent material here!
yeah like i've seen some of his standup or whatever, and it's kinda funny, but i duno.. maybe not exactly my type of humor... heh i duno
this sounds very much like a scene in catch 22