Having trouble with my transmogrifier

Well the first sign of trouble was when I came home and my Microsoft transmogrifier had a yellowish smoke billowing from Port A of the G drive, so I put an AKG cord in the back but it still wouldnt start up. I hit control-alt-delete and hoped that would work, but it didn't so I tried to reboot the motherboard using system utilities and the new 300 gigabyte Gigatron Supreme by installing it into the mainframe system port. It also didn't work so I put my USB port into the HTML drive and plugged the Firewire into the C++ drive. Unfortunately, I figured out that I needed to buy a 56k router to separate the ethernet port from the cold fusion drive. So finally my last ditch effort was to install the Extensions Manager into the CD-ROM drive, thus cutting off power from the linksys homing device while simaltaneously trying to tackle the LAN while also shutting down the 64 megahertz processor and switching the optical drive off. Alas, the problem still remained unsolved. I think it may have something to do with the Flash and Visual Basic ports. Does anyone have expertise in this field, or have experienced it themselves?