Public Opinion on the One
by Alright so I have been pondering something for the past few days. Let's see what we can conclude, ready?
Anyways, at what point does the realization that the person you are with, could be the "one"? You know, the one is the verbage always used to define the person you are most serious about. To define the person you are meant to be with... although I don't think things are "meant" to be, but I do think that Jehovah has a way of maneuvering many, many situations.
For those who are reading this, that are married, what is your take?
For those who are reading this, that are single, what do you think?
I am just curious and this thread is playing on my side of public opinion -- so public, what is your opinion?
In the last few months I have found myself in an awesome relationship == okay and that is all the back story you are getting.
AI Summary
68 Comments
I also agree that , sometimes when a love ends, you feel like, how could this be, i thought we would be together forever. And then like i duno a year later you meet someone who you feel more strongly for than anything in your life.
I do believe that certain things kinda happen for a reason. I believe for the most part, especially if you are putting Jehovah first, and rely solely on him, that he won't let you "end up" with someone who you shouldn't be with.
I don't really think that there is "ONE" person for everyone. I think there are several people that you could be with, be happy with, etc. I mean there's lots of marriages that people were convinced this was THE ONE and then it's over a year later. Or.. you meet someone, at first you think they are totaly not for you, and you get married a year later.
I think this is just very complicated.
And I also think everyone deserves to have that ONE love of their life, that love that makes you crazy and makes you absolutely lose all control for that person. (and i don't mean lose control as in, do wrong things, i mean like you are so deeply madly in love that you would do anything FOR them)
I think "the one" is someone who you fall deeply, madly, crazily in love with. And they feel the same way about you. And if you're really fortunate, you stay in love like that, year after year. It just gets better. :)
Vino y amores, de viejo los mejores.
wine and love get better with age.
it's too bad chicks and beer don't!
We need like..a double funny mark on this.
i was thinking the same thing
tl;dr
Seriously. There's no single ONE out there that is THE ONE.
What THE ONE essentially is... is a person that perfectly complements you.
I do believe that there is ONE set of personality/physical attributes that would complement you perfectly. However it's not just a single person.
Of the 6 billion people.. I'd say there's probably 100,000 - 1,000,000 people out there that would be PERFECT for you... but you most likely live nowhere near them or will never meet them.
And lets not factor in that point that you might not KNOW what is perfect for you yet. So to find this... ONE.. things would have to fall into place and it happens. SO keep an open mind and such.
There's probably one living in a hut in africa wearing no pants.
There's probably another in southern chile living in a shack, eating 1 fish a day.
There's probably another the town right over, but you'd never meet 'em.
Brilliant! Guinness in a six pack? BRILLIANT!
i totally agree with this! and once again...you astound me.
you better. Guiness in a six pack is amazing!
i love when you order guiness at a pub and they stamp the foam with a design. its so cute to have decorated beer!
This is so true. And funny. Mmm, Guinessss.
I'll take the one with no pants. I don't like fish much anyway.
this should be INFORMATIv'd!!! stat!
i agree also. i don't think the whole thing about 'the one' is about just one person in the whole world, it's about the one you know is perfect for you.
hmm, from what ive seen... i think that there is too many people around for their to be a ONE floating around on the earth somewhere, and i dunno, it just strikes me as something like fate or something from a John Cusack movie...
In reality, you can meet people that you could see yourself with, maybe a person likes certain things about a girl/guy... maybe they have this "ideal" image of what THEIR mate WOULD be like... now.. will they ever meet this person...? Are they being too picky? I think it really is what you NEED out of a relationship, some people need certain things, where as other things arent that big of a deal... and if you find someone that fits those requirements and you can be happy... and then, they ARE your one... and they could be somewhat different then what you expected...
I dunno, i probably dont make any sense... but i know that i didnt have any DEF picture of what my wife would be like... but somehow katie is things that i never knew i needed... well... cept for the vegan thing... and the slow driving... everything else.. except for those things... he he he.. and shell NEVER see this post...
well don't write anything about her height, and then she definately won't see it. cheers.
me too! whenever people talk about the one i always think of some corny movie with either whitney houston or a peter gabrial song.
SHUT UP!!!! She is not VEGAN! ME TOO humph *tear* she never ez messaged me back when I said hey :-(
(single) looks wise you can def. find "the one" and be in love right off the bat. BUT there's more to relationships than that. You have to truly KNOW the person, understand the person and TRUST the person. Open communication is the key and lots of trust.
When you know you click on so many levels and you can respect the brother as your (spiritual) head then you can truly come to the conclusion that he's the one.
it's all about respect, love, trust and understanding (empathy).
You know what I can't understand? Why some people want you to know that this person is the one before you even date them! Sure, it's important to get to know them before you date but REALLY how can you know until you get started? grr!
I don't think i'm understanding....
I'm talking about pressure that people put on you.
i think i know what you mean. its like ppl are so afraid of being hurt, they want some guarantee you wont break their hearts before youre even sure if you know them.
ok that too! but outsiders putting pressure on you.
OH....you mean influencing the thinking of the pursuer on the pursuee??
for instance, me telling you that tom is not good for you, he's this, he's that etc. before you even have the opportunity to get to know him?
Yep! Exactly. Not that I'm the type to disregard sound advice...but sometimes people go crazy with it and make things more complicated then they are.
YES i totally understand. people butt in where they shouldn't. i could see if the person has the WORST rep and they're just warning you, but something innocent....they just wanna poke around where they shouldn't.
if that person listens to such and doesn't come to the conclusion themselves, then this person wouldn't be a good match since they can't make decisions on their own.
True that Socal! I'm very quick to "run things by" people...I guess for fear I don't know what I'm doing but that's not always true and I'm finding it's not such a good idea to let people butt in.
if its people you trust then its ok, but its' the ones who don't know you that're jsut beng nosey!
i think its important... it important to know what that person acts like in a regular relationship first. how he/she treats others, their friends, their family. how they react in normal day to day situations, all that stuff is important. if you just start dating, bam instantly, you both may (whether u know it or not) not totally be yourself
for every person that marries "The One", there are 5 that felt that way until she(or even he) got dumped by that one. Not that i'm not saying it can't happen on the first try, but that experience helps.
Especially because you don't know the person right away, so you can't just know they are TO right away. So some time has to be taken. Knowing the person and how they react to things and people helps. I think you can be older and then get to know someone and know they are the one.
This all being said, i think it is great when you feel you have found TO, and i have never personally tried to dissuade anyone that has told me because i know that feeling..
And I think the last and only true 'One' was Eve, cuz she was created specifically for Adam, and we see how well that turned out. So i think since then there has been no true one. Oh except maybe for Isaac and Rebekah..
and me and your mother
Am I the only one that thought how her father tried to swindel Isaac was just jacked up on soo many levels? I mean this guy REALLY loved her and he went that extra mile but...I think there was a point where any ordinary man wouldda pummled his face.
how did bethuel try to swindle isaac? i thought that was a smooth deal.
My bad I'm thinking of Jacob being swindled by Laban for Rachel...the whole trade off with Leah when he should've got Rachel to begin with. I know it worked out but really burns my biscuts just the same.
(single) i dont think there is a "one" for everyone. i think a person gets along with ppl (romantically and otherwise) bc he or she wants to. it requires effort. of course, if a person chooses to be in a romantic relationship, one of the things he or she should work at is being loyal. hopefully, each of us (if choosing to be in a relationship) has the strength to choose a relationship that will be a positive force in our lives.
Summer, I liked this. The idea of being in a relationship with someone because you want to. That's definetly a big part of it. You love someone because you want to sometimes. Maybe that's not sounding right..but you want to make it work and you want to be with that person so badly and that's why it works.
(single,married,girlfriend'd) Giving everything a try is good. Can't knock it till you've tried it
and only a true player can be all three
CORRECTION: A true pimp has all three and all three know about each other.
I am no true pimp. I'd die if everyone found out. *poof*
even ty has his limits, apparently.
ha i voted maybe bc i dont really know you
(single) i don't believe in the one concept. i do believe there are people you will love and need and want more than others.
When you realize that you don't want to live without them. And not because you'd have nothing to do on a saturday night (I said nothing not no one!). You want to be with them forever because they're your best friend.
Okay I get this...I agree with this.
Not just because you want an arm ornament or to prove you could get some one.
There's a place where a person has really matured to the point where it's not just to say the word girlfriend or boyfriend...
it's your other half your compliment.
(single) - i have no clue about this yet, i think you have to be in the kind of relationship where it gets the point that you both can picture yourself with the other person forever before you can answer this question
See, I think it's the point when you realize "there is no one better for me that i know or might know". You have to decide that at some point - based on previous experience (people you've dated, hung out with, friends of poeple you've dated, people your friends have dated, etc.) that this person is the best one, out of all of those.
Sure, you could always meet someone who you might THINK is better, initially. but you have to look at all the factors, including what i call "long-term-ness" - whether or not you can work well with that person for a long period of time, not just a this minute/week thing, but a 50 year thing. Or, if we live into the new system, 10,000,000,000+ years.
This is NOT settling I am in love with my girlfriend -- i love Lauren.
i toooootally disagree...that sounds like settling
i know what i want...the kind of relationship i want, and the type of guy i want. i dont think its a comparison thing, its something that comes from inside.
i agree completely-i thought the same exact thing when reading it. the 'one' is not really something you have to decide on. you know w/o doubts. it's not a comparison to anyone else, you don't weigh it out to see who is best. true it takes some people a little longer to know than others, but i think if you don't know positively within say a year or so, you might want to rethink who you are with.
see, i don't agree with that at all. you're making that decision based on right now, if you look at it from that angle. i knew without doubts that i loved my leather jacket when i bought it 5 years ago, but now it's time for a newer one.
but a leather jacket isnt a human being. it can't make sacrifices or change or adapt. STUPID ANALOGY!!
no, i don't think you understand. first of all, a leather jacket doesn't work on the relationship and love you back. second, it's not just a decision based on right now. when you are with the right person, you aren't wondering if there is someone better for you out there now, 1, 5, 10 yrs down the road. you know without a doubt that as long as that person is living (which may be eternity) you will not want to be with anyone else, even if perhaps there was someone else in the world with a compatible personality. trust me, i've been there.
true, if you're wondering if there's someone better out there, you're always going to be chasing after that and you're never going to find "the one"
there is always someone better looking, smarter prettier than we are, but you can't go on that alone. it's all about connecting with that person, respecting that person, personalities.
like i said you can love someones looks right off the bat, but being "in love" totally involves WAY more than that.
unfortunately, you have to make some sacrifices. if making a sacrifice = settling, then, i don't know if all the issues have been addressed.
let's take an example. there are many thing i want in life (such as being with lindsay lohan), but having them and serving Jehovah don't go together. Am i settling for serving Jehovah? Am I settling by chosing someone other than Lindsay Lohan? Nope. I'm making sacrifices for something I know will work out in the future.
It's all in how you look at it
hm, i still don't agree. because you don't know lindsay, thats all just based on looks. but that would be a different point to argue, say you did know her, and she was absolutely perfect for you. She still isn't perfect, because she isn't a witness. So, thats a major part of the perfect person to you (and to everybody on this site hopefully)
point is...i think there is a person..or a couple people who come close to be perfect for each of us. We look for things in people, and if they represent what we are looking for, then i dont think we'll think we are sacrificing what could be or picking the best at the moment...we're picking a person who we love for who they are and couldnt possibly imagine being without
well this comment is obviously different than it was yesterday. i agree with the part about knowing long term if you could work together, i think not enough people consider that. but it also isn't just a purely logical thing. though thinking and reason come into play, it's also a strong emotional thing. i don't know, i don't think i can explain it like i want to .
right -- janine i agree. this is one of the things in life that can't be looked at in a completely "logical" sense. When you are in love logic sorta flies out the window, cause you -just know-.
Now this also shows how women view things completely differently than men do.
"I think in decimals & dollars, I am the cause to all your problems..." Brand New.
i dont think guys and girls are that much different in that way
i agree. it depends on the person, not the gender.
well i think it is more that as women, we think a little more with our hearts, and men think with there heads... but yea i agree depending on the person it will differ
you mean you're dumber... lol!! jk jk jk
but yeah you're right to an extent, but women aren't all completely emotionally out of control and men aren't all robots.
(single): i think it's completely subjective. Everybody will have a completely different answer, because its just not a science, its emotion...its impossible to place it into any rational terms. People always say you just "know" though...hmm, maybe its the same as how you just "know" what your favorite food is? You just do...
wait, i forgot the question...darn, i'm gonna be late for school
wait... do you mean do we like you for Daniel?
What's the poll for, i'm confused.
me too
the pole is just for kicks -- remember when you were little and you would send a note to a kid u liked...
and you would write -
Do U Like Me?
circle yes no maybe