Question of the year...
by Ok, I'm not on here frequent enough to post this as a musing and see the responses so I pose this question here, in the Macking forum. Here we go:
Is it possible to love two people so much to the point you know you could spend all of eternity with either one of them?
Follow up:
How do you determine the right one?
There in lies my dilema...
AI Summary
49 Comments
man i wish i had this guy's problems :)
yeah, me too.... What's going on!?
aw come on....you 2 cannot tell me you don't have some "interests"???
man, I hope whoever you do pick never finds this website. seriously.
Yea loving 2 chicks at the same time.. is .. yes.. yes..
assuming they are both comparable in spirituality, maturity, etc, the question is-are you the love of either of their lives? someone on here this week said 'everyone deserves to be the love of someone's life' -its true for you too. where are they at with you?
Assuming they are in the same place with regard to feelings for you, then you really do have to seriously sit down and think about, and PRAY about your goals and what you truly want in life. You don't want to regret marrying someone with whom you are not traveling in the same direction
ah good point good point
Yes, definitely a good point. Ok, so you said you could go either way: gilead or children. These two girls in the picture or not, you have to decide for youself which way you want to go. Perhaps, once you figure that out, you'll take your head out of your hands, look up, and see her. You can't make a life decision like this without knowing for sure where you want your life to go from here. Someone once admitted to me he was looking at other girls besides me. At the time, I saw his honesty. Great, thanks. But then I saw a waivering boy who didn't know what he wanted. Better to figure you out first and then act or else you run the risk of hurting people.
All great posts, Pat, you're awesome.
It's kind of like this. I know I would be completely happy with either one of them, it's just my life would be different with each one. Their goals are different. So I ask myself, ok, what are my goals. I'm about to turn 29 and my life has changed so much in the past two years that every goal I once had was smashed. So I'm now at the point of not being sure what my goals are. I know I want to pioneer, that's all I do know. I can do that with either one.
And the 'what if' question is something that has haunted me. I shot myself in the foot big time because of that. I ended up choosing one over the other only to end up alone in the end. Very confusing situation, very strange situation, and now taking a harder look at myself I'm only lead to realize I'm even more confused now as to which is better for me. They're both hot, you can't go off looks. They both surf, so they're in shape. Major differences that I could easily point out is one would make an incredible mother, no doubt about that. The other wants Gilead. I know I'd be happy either way.
dude, if you're up for gilead, that's the way to go. You may not have children, but you'll have tons of spiritual children. I have friends who just went to Mozambique after Gilead, and it's just amazing. You would have such amazing spiritual training, and Jehovah's blessing all the way. A woman that is willing to give her life to Jehovah like that is an amazing one. A diamond in the rough. Go for her--that's my advice.
And if you don't, I will!
Speaking of children, that's another thing to ask yourself.....one woman wants Gilead, but does the other want children, even though she'd make an incredible mother? Do YOU want children? That's obviously gonna be a huge deciding factor, if you do want them for sure, and only one of them does.
hey jess - good to hear you are doing so very well. Go with the spiritual goals ALL the time, all the other parts of life will work out to the most amazing situations.
The hard part will be figuring out who you want to be with, but just pray super specific when it comes to this. Pray in terms of exacts and details. I mean you probably have already done this, but I am telling you it will decide exactly what you are trying to figure out.
Call me sometime... dan and I can come visit.
It seems that if you don't know what you want out of life then you're not ready to settle down any pick anyone. You have to know what you want in order to know if the person you will be with can fulfill your needs.
I have to find one first. At least you have some choices.
As long as Jehovah is first in the relationship, whomever you choose that you enjoy your time with will be the right one. If He's not first, then you'll run into problems. I say this from the perspective of once being in a relationship where Jehovah was not put first. Needless to say, that relationship is now over and a family is split in two.
In your case if both are strong in the truth and both are fun to be with, then pick the hottest one. :o)
there's always someone prettier, smarter, funnier etc than each one of us. So yes there can be more than one love of your life, but when you've found one, why continue? Be happy with the one you have, is she beautiful in your eyes? does she make you laugh, can you sit there and say so much without saying anything at all? can you see her respecting your headship??
I definitely don't believe that there is only ONE person in the world that you could spend your whole life with. There could be two, maybe even more. You could make yourself crazy wondering "what if" haha.. what if there are TWO MORE people that you could love just as much as you love the two people you already love. haha.. yeah ...
The thing is that you can only be with one.
How you determine this I don't really know. I'm sure there are several people on the planet that I could be very happy with. However - all I know is that the person I married is the love of my life. Could it have been someone else???? It's impossible to even imagine it.
Anyways this is why it's dangerous to be too close to members of hte opposite sex once you're married, (there was a very recent article about this in I think the Awake..?) you could be "just friends" but what if you start to think "oh i could have been happy with this person" and problems arise.
I think everyone deserves to be the love of someone's life, hehe. And once you make your choice you can't think about those other possibilities .. ever, really. It's not fair to anyone involved.
And please, for the love of all that is angry once a month, don’t ever let on that this is the situation. I mean women can sense this stuff. And while theoretically it is ok for her to love and want to marry only Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Dave Matthews, the UPS guy, the 17 year old boy next door, the chubby guy at work who is ‘so funny’, that guy she liked way back in high school oh and by the way you, it is NOT ok for you to love and want to marry her and anyone else, not even a fictional character like Jessica Rabbit (she’s not bad, she’s just drawn that way).
And yes it is ok for them to go after that guy in their hall who has a sports car and never actually shows up to any meetings other than the memorial and the DC to check out chicks and then be dumped by him and come crawling back to you only to be tempted once more by him when the slutty chick he went after was more slutty than he realized and finally profess her love to you when he is thoroughly finished with her. BUT NO, it is not ok for you to have talked to anyone else while she was with said rebel unless you swear you will never even look at them again or she can never trust you.
I’m so glad I can give you this advice without bitterness….
i vote this the funniest post on ezabel EVER. Even more than Ian's "I can't go for HOURRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS"
hahahahah
what about russian mail order brides
i heard polish brides are hotter.
GO POLAND!!! (Sorry....rooting for my heritage here) :)
Yeah, def. I've ordered a couple brides and they're really good at poker. Good times.
this polish bride hates cards and all card games. Except go fish and Uno.
I used to think so, but then poland broke my heart. I still think so, but i can't marry one...
This is a seething post. I love it. It's all true. All of it. Girls, GET A CLUE.
while i find this post extemely funny and basically true, the little feminist inside me has been raising her hand for a while so i have to let her speak
OH WOW a double standard!! , she says with an extremely sarcastic tone
then she goes on and on about how girls if they're single at 30 are considered old maids but if a guy is single at 30 he's a bachelor and no one sees anything wrong with it
and how girls make about 70 cents for every dollar a guy makes doing the same job
holy crap she won't shut up
yeah there are double standards. Get over it.
Sorry
the views expressed herein are not necessarily the views of juicymango
LOL
This needs to be marked as funny, as soon as...that can be done... again
what about the girl who doesn't date the rebel guy with the sports car? what about the girl who goes for the nice guy who has a lot going for him and nothing more?
girls get burnt too. some guys also need to get a clue.
um, yeah sorry. I can't help you there. Those guys need to get a clue.
are you saying you love Jessica Rabbit? :p
Wait a sec, I never told you about the ups guy Mr... how'd you know? j/k
I think this man has it straight. He gets a cookie.
now on the other side of the coin if you spend time with one woman and find you could spend your life with her and at the same time say this about another, it could be said that one or the other does not truly have all that it is you are looking for. OR they are similar in personality.
This is truly a quandry as women all have something or things that make them unique and wonderful, so it must be decided which talents you are looking for. However, it is also sufficient to spot them when you see them.
Speaking from a more spiritual side, we were made to love one only. And are allowed to love one only. But that being said we can't change are minds.
So while i have said nothing here, i will say this quote, "In this life, there are nothing but possibilities.."
Jesse my man, you have come to the right place. Seriously the only way besides time is time with one. NOT both. Aside from the moral implications of spending time with both, you have to develop the bond for one or the other. You will get stronger with one or away from that person spending time with them.
But alas you run the risk of losing the other. So discretion is advised.
OR you could just go for the one that lets you play more video games...
Not bad Pattymelt, not bad at all...*promises never to call HunkpapaP pattymelt again
wow jess, has it been that long since we've spoken? we need to talk.....soon!
Gina, you have no idea. Call anytime. I'll try to answer.
Yes, I believe so.
And time.
that is a twisty one. my opinion: supposing one wants to spend all of eternity with someone, the right one, all other things being equal, is simply the one that returns that desire. if both do, then the right one is the one that helps one improve oneself- spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. if both do, then the right one is the one that cant be said goodbye to bc if this point has been reached with two individuals, risk of regrets/discontent/disloyalty might be too great to continue any type of relationship with both.