You've Been Dismissed...
by Eliminate with the "You Better Letter Me Go" you can break up with
him without seening his pitiful face...
Dear (man's name)-
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was
exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as
yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your
name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find
better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to
offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the
competition:
Check those that apply:
Your last name is objectionable. I cant imagine taking it, hyphenating
it, or subjecting my children to it.
Your first name is objectionable. Its just not something I can picture
myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at
McDonalds reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about
yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
Your breasts are bigger than mine.
Your legs are skinnier than mine.
You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten
up repeatedly at recess.
Youre too tall. Im developing a chronic neck condition from trying to
kiss you.
You have a hairy back.
I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
You still live with your parents.
Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
uniforms a little disconcerting.
Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that
you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in
a long term partner.
Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
The fact that you categorize the Pro Bowlers Tour as "must see TV"
demonstrated that you do not meet my intelligence requirements.
I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, Your Name
AI Summary
52 Comments
Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have a guy around who could fix my car...but I prefer learning how to do it myself. It is extremely annoying to have guys tell you what is wrong with your car. Sometimes you can get 10 different opinions when not one of them can keep their own car running. Actually, I guess the real frustration is in guys telling girls what to do as if they don't know any better. I know a lot. And if a guy tells me what to do, chances are I am gonna do the opposite (that's guys in general, not bfs). If I ask for advice, yay I'll take it. But if I don't, and I don't want it, you've just wasted precious energy.
Oh yeah, I also don't like it when guys walk around barefoot.
see! feet are nasty! i am in total agreement.
aw, honey, i could handle your speach until you got to the feet part. i love being barefoot.
I've hated feet for a long time. Longer than I've known you. Don't worry, I won't dump you because you like to be barefoot.
You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about
yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
that's the worst
i'm glad ' oh oh tyyyyyy ' ... has such a smooth flow.
Wow. You'd stop going out with a guy because you don't like his first name? There are lots of girl's names that I absolutely despise, but I would never let that affect whether I go out with them.
Yeah, you'll just ask them to legally change it right?
Their first name? No. That's an awfully shallow thing to care about.
i don't think it is. if i met an awesome girl and her name was Jill, a change would be required.
you would say something like that
don't start...
she can. and you'll like it, dnhll.
yo, valentine, i don't see things working out well for you. in fact, you've probably eaten your last peanut butter sandwich.
what if you have trouble pronouncing the name?
If you really like the person you'll learn to pronounce it properly.
I have no sympathy for people who refuse to learn to pronounce other people's names properly. There are people that I've known for years that continue to insist on murdering the pronunciation of my last name, and every time I hear it I cringe. I could rant for hours on this subject, but I think I won't bore you with all that.
hmm, i disagree..i think some things certain people just can't say...like i can not say the name CARL for the life of me...i think something i wrong with my tounge.
There is another name i have a lot of trouble saying too.
But, you could always come up with nicknames for a person, and just call them that. That works
But would you let that affect whether you would go out with a guy? Besides, I'm sure you could at least get close to the correct pronunciation. What I'm talking about is people who _truly_ wreck the pronunciation of my name.
BTW, are you going to enlighten us as to what the other name you can't say is? :)
no, of course i wouldn't let if effect whether i went out with a guy or not...that'd be retarded...you'd be really shallow if you did.
and, no, haha...the other name is a secret
Aww... Now you've got me really curious. :) Oh well, if you don't want to tell us, that's your business.
speaking of this whole topic...what is with when a girl dates some guy let's say a mike. everyone calls him mike. why does she call him michael? you know this sort of girl? what is with that?
I never went by "Robert." Always went by "Robbie." But, there was this one girl that always had to call me Robert, instead of being like everyone else who called me Robbie. I despise "Robert," normally, but I don't know ...when she said "Robert" it had this certain unexplainable sweetness to it.
it's a sweet formality. a bit of respect.
Hmm. Only sounded good when she said it. Normally I quiver at the name. Always make people call me Robbie, or I beat 'em up. But, made the exception for her, since she was hot, and had a voice to die for.
I've always thought that it's because she wants to make their relationship special somehow, so she calls him something that no one else does.
His first i wouldnt have a problem with but other chicks do but his lasnt name...Im sorry i wouldnt want my last name something that would embrass me..
The last name I could almost understand. After all you're, hopefully, going to be taking it as your own, but I just don't understand what the issue is with first names.
My math teacher got married and now her last name is "Stankawitz" or something very close to that spelling.
That's not as bad as some names I know of. There's this headhunter that my dad knows whose parents decided to name "Richard" despite of, or perhaps because of, the fact that their last name was "Head". No, I'm not making this up.
A Headhunter? What exactly does he do for a living?
wellll, either he's a job scout for big companies. orrrrr he's a bounty hunter who tracks criminals and parole violators.
Yeah..the word Headhunter immediately brought the word bounty hunter to mind.
Really? You must not deal with corporate America much. Then again, neither do I, but I've heard my dad talk about them enough that I don't usually think of that meaning.
"You must not deal with corporate America much" ahaha that's an understatement.
fiji is the only place in the world where there are still live head hunters.
As fivezero said, he's a job scout.
my mommy is a head-hunter. she scares me sometimes when i awake to find her standing over me.
hah i'm reading this list going...had it, had it...
Hairy back not a big win with me..
hey mike..."your breasts are bigger than mine!" haha!
o man... i love this...
Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
Ahahaa...17 inches, that's so much!