Impress Me, Impress My Dad

Guys the best way to get with a girl is to get in good with her dad
so why dont you show up with the application....

Application for Permission to Date my Daughter

Note: This application will be considered incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement; job history; publisher card;
lineage; elders' phone numbers; and current medical report from your physician.

(PART 1)

Complete Name: ____________________________________________________

Complete Address: (No P.O. Boxes)
_____________________________________
_____________________________________

Date of Birth ____________ Height ____________ Weight __________

IQ ___________________ Driver Lic. ________

Can you see the floor in your bedroom? ________

How long have you been in the truth? _________

Do you have any brothers or sisters? __________

If yes, do they wish YOU had been adopted by a foster family?_______

Are your parents in the truth? ___________ One or both? ____________

Will your parents throw a party for you when you move out? _________

Do you own a vehicle for field service? _______

If yes, please check appropriate category and all that apply

MOTORCYCLE_____
No further questions
(PLEASE TURN IN APPLICATION)

SPORTS CAR____
Modified engine ____
Chrome wheels ___
Rims ____
Tinted Windows___
Pick-up truck _____
Oversize tyres _____
Body lift _____
Roll bar _____
Heavy rust ____
Bald tyres ____
Prime painted ____
Worn interior___

VAN _____
Shag carpeting _____
Chain steering wheel _____
All life's belongings in back _____

What type of stereo system is installed in your vehicle? _________

List features of above ________________________________________
(i.e., watts, # of speakers, CD changer, base tube, woofers, etc.)

Do you have any traffic violations on your driving record? _______
If yes, please explain ________________________________________

In 50 words or LESS, what does the word LATE mean to you?
___________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or LESS, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? __________________________________________________________________

(PART 2)

What congregation do you attend? __________________ How often?_____

Please name your:
Presiding Overseer _____________________
Circuit Overseer _______________________
District Overseer _______________________

When would be the best time to interview your parents?
___________________

When would be the best time to interview your Presiding
Overseer? _________

Answer the following questions honestly with no outside help.
ALL Answers will be kept strictly confidential.

Name the 12 apostles
________________________________________________________________

Can you name the books of the Bible from memory? ________How about backwards? _______
If you answered NO to any of the above questions, why not?___________________

If you had $20 in your pocket, how would you spend it?
Choose one of the following:

Buy new release music CD __
Put in KH contribution box__
Go to movies with your friends __

Have you PRE-PLANNED your funeral? ____________

Do you have a will?________

Do you carry a current blood card? ___________

When you hear the word "pioneer" at the congregation meetings,
what comes to your mind? _____________________________________________

If you were beaten and accidentally killed (i.e. because you tried to
kiss my daughter) do you feel you would be entitled to resurrection?_______________

Please justify the above response________________________________

Fill in the blank:
A women's place is in the
_______________________

What would you want to be IF you grow up?______________________

I acknowledge that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, impalement, electrocution, Chinese water torture or any other means deemed fit.
__________________________________________________
Applicant's Name (Please Print)
__________________________________________________ __________
Applicant's Signature (No "X" signatures accepted) Date

Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be notified in writing if your application is approved. In the meantime, DO NOT attempt to call or write my daughter due to risk of personal injury. Of course in the interim, should you mature enough to become a ministerial servant or elder, then please make us aware of this information in writing.
Your application will be considered sooner as a result of this updated information.