Clichés
by The other day I was watching an old movie starring Bob Hope and Lana Turner. His character is a confirmed bachelor and hers is the only single woman in the movie, so you know that they are bound to wind up together although the plot required a lot of wrenching to get this worldly-wise playboy to admit he wanted to be with a set-in-her-ways spinster.
Anyways, two quotes from the movies stuck with me:
1) No woman really wants to make love platonically.
2) Men are interested in being a woman’s first love and women are more concerned with being the last.
I’ve found them to be somewhat true. I mean in the world today, I guess women may have sex platonically, but I think the old school make love connotation is far different from today’s casual sex ideas. And that whole second notion, it seems many guys want to hear about past relationships and personally, I would rather leave the past where it is. I mean unless you have on-going friendships or need to keep in contact bc you have kids or something, why drudge it up? That’s not what makes a long lasting relationship. It’s how you deal with the present that makes a difference.
So I guess I’d like to hear two things. First, what do you think about either of these quotes? And second, do you think any clichés about love are true?
AI Summary
26 Comments
I think the second statement is only slightly true due not to possession or something like that, but the fact that if you have ever dealt with a woman who is very attached to her first (or most recent) love it is tough. You have a set of things to live down that were never your fault but you still have to deal with.
So sometimes it seems that a woman never loves a man as much as she does her first love. In this context, i would agree. But obviously not all women are like this...
i know some guys who are constantly with new girls, i hope that doesn't happen to me. so i guess i would disagree with the 2nd statement there, i hope the next girl i go out with is the last one
that made up for you saying that girls are gay
i hope the next one i go out with is the one right before the next one. shhh dont tell my lady
I'll tell you what cliché i hate: Love is a game that only fools play. Not like that exactly.
I mean love is not a game. But you are foolish if you think it is. And if you don't play the game (so to speak) the right way you can be foolish. But falling in love is a great thing. But it can be done foolishly...
that is awful. a lot of ppl toy or play with others. just bc they are bored or something. that makes me angry.
Yeah. I hate that. I know people who do it solely for attention. Like, if you need to feel good about yourself so badly, go get a pedicure or something. Sheesh.
personally, i like the choices ive made so far, i just dont like the idea of being measured by how ive handled things in the past or valued differently than someone else solely based on the number of relationships ive had. i dont see where endless preoccupation with the past gets you anywhere. move on.
although ideally speaking i stand by what i said in the crush thread: one long term relationship should suffice...practically speaking, chances are you are not the first relationship in someones life and if you are the first relationship chances are you arent going to be the last. even i have to accept some learning curve. that will sound hopelessly jaded and unlike me to those who know me well, but i cant be wide eyed and wondering forever.
I agree with this. Many people cling to the past as a blueprint for the future and that's great for avoiding repeating mistakes. Only sometimes it's used as a way to make excuses for restrictive and even destructive behaviors that are ingrained and hard to fix. I DON'T agree with that. Look to the future, don't let "complexes" brought on by past trauma hinder you or anyone you're in a relationship with.
wow, i actually said something worthy of agreement instead of mocking. i must check that.
aw, i nean no harm, sensetive one
This is true. Under that saracstic disguise is a very nice person with a big heart. :)
wow, thash sho shweet
I think the past makes you who you are. I think you think things and are suspicious due to past events. I think the other person not only has the right to know these things, but should because they need to know you and who you are.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you know keeps secrets from you and you from them? Can you really say your relationship has any kind of trust? Can you say you will really love them no matter what? And if you don't trust them enough to believe they will love you for who you are and have been, can they do the same?
I mean who here is perfect and hasn't done things we seriously will regret for the rest of our lives? However lines have to be drawn. It's not important to dwell on or get upset over things that have happened in the past. Enough from me for now...
My husband didn't want to know anything about my past, whereas I grilled him about his. It's reversed for us, I guess. But then again, our situation was a little different.
I've always seen the girls I know wanting to know about their man's past, and the guys are just like "whatever." It's weird.
I mean, he knew basics and stuff. After all, I've been friends with him since I was 14, so it was almost impossible for him not to know. But he didn't want a detailed description of who I dated, what they looked like, etc. Stuff like that, unless it affects the current relationship, should just stay buried.
its true, guys are more curious to find out ex's from your past. I say leave it as is. I don't want to know who he was with before because that doesn't matter. what matters is the present and future.
Really? Hm I don't know I've never even thought about that too much before. Who someone has been with before that is.
I don't think its imperative to know when you're first starting out. Like, it shouldn't HAVE to be known in order to get along and have a good relationship. If you can discuss it later on mutually without getting upset, in a casual way, it can be a very interesting topic and just nice to know because you're learning about the person.
um, yeah, uhhhh. i don't know.
i take option 3