When Trust is an Issue
by So, for as long as i can remember, i have been told that if i was pioneering...certain things would be taken care of for me.... not like rent or things like that... but just certain things that there would be almost impossible for me to handle while working a part time job.
well, i have recently been notified that i am going to be responsible for ALL bills that are concerning me.
well, as if thats not enough... i was not told that my health insurance has been terminated since Dec. 1st. Because of being sick for an entire week, i went to the doctor dec.9 th and when they asked if i would like a blood test taken, i obliged... thinking i had health insurance.
Now, because im responsible for ALL of my finances... i am the one who has to pay a LARGE bill, that i thought would have been covered....by insurance.
while all of this is going on....i do not have a job....
I know what Matthew says about Jehovah will always provide. So, i know things will all work out.
I guess what really blows is when you trust someone...and then it ends up they stick it to you, when youre at the lowest.
Im not writing this for pity... im writing it out so i can get it off my chest.
the good news? I am completely free and clear of anyone at all trying to hold over my head what i have to do for them because theyve done all this for me. what else? im an adult. i should act like one.
i know what some of you are thinking "wah wah wah" but just think about it. if someone has been partially supporting you... and then all of a sudden... hey- you have to take EVERYTHING over...btw... you have NO income.
On the brighter side... i may have a job... at an internet cafe a couple minutes away from home. I could work a full time job while pioneering, b/c a lot of the time to work is at night... on non-meeting nights. I hope i get it.
thank you for listening to me whining frustrations.
AI Summary
73 Comments
I hope you get it too Tina!! You're in my prayers and thoughts. I'm sure everything will work out and you'll look back on this thinking.. geez.. how did i make it?? And you'll be amazed how things always work out just when you need them to. I've been there. Lemme know if there's anything I can do. Wanna move in with me and Chris for a while? hehe.... hehe
tina if you need anything call me.
Tina, you seriously are THE best person I have ever met, and I know things will work out for you. You've gotta be one of Jehovah's favorite people and he will constantly hook you up, just look at last month and how your opportunity for making rent just seemed to come up at the last minute...I promise you're gonna get thru this and be amazed at how much you've grown from all the strees you've dealt with. If that helps.
what the heck dude, i thought I was one of your favorite people... ?
what as all that "one in a million" talk?
ooh, dude, tell you mom i said hi for me... thanks
keep it on the DL dan..
NO SYMPATHY! i want tina to move in with meeeeeeeeeeee..and she refuses. haha
i love you! :)
seriously...what is going on for this summer. crazy girl crib gonna go into effect?
Ok, I don't know you, but I feel like I can offer some encouragement anyways.
A couple of my favorite scriptures for when I am going through rough times:
Psalms 34:18 (My absolute FAVE!)
Psalms 55:22
Romans 5:3,4
Romans 12:12
1 Corinthians 10:13
I hope these help you. I know they have lifted my spirits in the past, and I know we always hear these scriptures all the time, but sometimes we need to hear them at the times when we need it the most, and then we can really feel encouraged by them. I hope all goes well for you. :)
1 Corinthians 10:13 is my favorite!!
Page 900! is my all time favorite page.
my page 900 got stolen by a little old woman in a motorized cart! and i never even saw it COMING!
why are you hanging out with old men driving little carts in bath houses ?
i think getting it off your chest helps and is a start.
Hey teener... I feel for you completely. I know how hard this all is - but I will help you as best as I can. That's what good friends are for and roomates in our case.
Love ya chick.
i don't like how, on smallville, no one can trust chloe. she's always finding out info about them like how many times they sneeze, and then putting it in the school paper!
psh, chloe was running a BACKROUND check on clark, pssh i wouldnt trust that hooch as far as i could throw her.
yeah, and whats up with her cousin being lois lane??
yeah. i bet lois lane would not have chicklets for teeth. like chloe does. ick.
yeah, she has real bad teeth...but lois cant be hotter then lana...she's top shelf
still practicing to be a guy again, eh? it's working.
haha, yeah...i've been practicing for a while...i think its working well...i'm ready to move onto the next step, my teacher
i dunno, the next step involves some surgery and a different way to cross your legs.
eek! maybe it's time to give up then...i guess dan's school of maleness can only take a person so far. Uh, the check's in the mail.
all in all you really should have known where you were at , as far as health insurance, and bills. You probably should have taken care of these things ages ago. especially your own bills!
Not to sound rough , but , seriuosly did you not not keep your eye out as to what concerned you, even though someone was takeing care of it for you, you always should know for yourself.
But your right all will work out.
and unfortunate or not for me, i dont trust anyone for the most part except for brandon, but since forever i have made sure i knew everything there was to know about those things, especially since i mainly took care of my bills, and all that., i didnt want people doing it for me, as much as it would have been nice for someone to pay them , it didnt teach me anything,and I as a person needed to know what was up, simpley because i didnt trust people to do it for me.
it's like the game of life. you never let another person spin the wheel. you gotta do it yourself.. or you'll start blaming other people. much like rabies
i disagree...its not a matter of not knowing where youre at, its an issue of being under under the assumption that you HAVE insurance, and then finding out 2 months later from a letter that you havent had it for two months. and i dont know anyone who is going to check their insurance status on a weekly basis when they have been told it has been taken care of by a loved one. you should definitly "know where youre at", sure, but when youre pioneering and unemployed and trying to not coem off the list, every little thing adds on pressure.
you shouldnt be under an assumption. You should know, not that you have to be checking it hourly but,be in the know, perhaps she should have called that loved one before she went to the doctors to make sure she is insured.
i doubt anyone calls up their insurance company or the person handling their insurance each time before going to the doctor.
thats like making sure your car is insured every time you go outside to drive it.
i think if someone was takin' care of your insurance, hopefully they'd tell you if they weren't anymore. and if there was a falling out or residental seperation you'd certainly want to iron those things out. thats all i can think of. theres not much info to go on.
yeah but when was the last time she went to the doctors, if its been months, if she hardley ever goes like me, and doesnt she have an insurance card,unless, she was just dropped out of nowhere!
I call, I DO NOT need to be stuck with health bills! I duno to me its so simple I guess cause i do take care of all of these things. someone doesnt do them for me
Okay... i just want to clarify something... i get sick A LOT.. infact i have been to the doctor about 3 times in the past 6 months...and that doesnt include times ive been sick without going to the Dr. i DO have an insurance card...that i thought i had been covered with....if you really are concerned ill explain in more detail, to you personally. i just didnt want to have to explain details completely to everyone on the internet...
No need to explain. It's pretty simple. Someone told you that they would take care of those bills and unexpectantly they stopped. It was irresponsible of them to stop making payment and not tell you. It isn't as if you were getting things paid for and fooling around, you were pioneering. And I bet you probably knew what you were spending as well. You trusted this person, you weren't being naiive or irrsponsible. You probably would have gotten a job quick if you knew that it fell through.
Besides, few ppl check to see if they are still covered by insurance, let alone what it is and isn't covered. Then they are shocked when you tell them that the procedure they need isn't covered.
my point exactly.
I guess what Im trying to say here without being so blunt,(and i realize i so dont know the whole story, but just from reading the journal) is
Ya Know, Welcome to the real world, where you take care of your own financial responcabilitys and not living off of your loved ones. It shouldn't have been a huge shock to you, did you really think they'd pay your way for ever, your what 20, and OUT of the house. Many of us have done it,and are doing it, and are still pioneers. Brothers who have family's to support arent living off of there loved ones money. You make me laugh becuase its like you say
"I guess what really blows is when you trust someone...and then it ends up they stick it to you, when youre at the lowest"
They stick it to you, are you kidding me, this is something they probably should have done awhile ago, so maybe it wouldnt be such a shock right now.
There's gotta be someone who sees what I'm saying, Even if I'm the only one that thinks like this, then I am. but I dont think so.
And like I said before you are right, things will be taken care of, but at some point in time Im sure you thought you had to take these responcabilitys on yourself.
(btw Im sure there are misspellings all over the place)
again, i dont think the problem is what happened,(taking over bills), but HOW it happened, (all at once with 2 months of backpayments from left field).
I can understand that, the way it happened might not have been the best way. Life throws you fast balls, just be READY to catch them.
well, i don't think tina is saying, i'm gonna just turn my back and not catch the ball....i think she just wanted to vent about it a little. And that's okay, cause we all need to get things out sometimes.
really thats what you got from that? I thought tina was saying that when life gives you lemons you
squeeze them, pretend its urine and throw it on somebody? That seems like the way you would finish that sentence ty...though i think i'd go with, throw them back at the foo' (uh, i guess that'd be life)
i was trying to build suspense... but i was going to say " you make lemonade"
ohhhh....okay, well that doesn't seem like a very ty-like thing to say. I didn't realize you were being serious. You have to warn me next time.
HA , i fooled you ! see.. how you can never predict.. one minute.. i'm here.. the next minute i'm in mexico.. talking to a mexican about how the water gives me diarhhea. you never know... neverr everrrr...
you obviously have problems trusting people, or don't understand what trust is all about.
I definatly have a trust situation, it takes me a very long time to trust people, even friends. I just happened to learn from experiences and draw from other peoples experiences when i was younger that it made me not trust people. I do know what trust is about, i just chooose not to trust most people.
what an awful way to live.
and why is that
Because when you have a problem trusting people, or choosing not to trust people, its gonna severly limit what kind of person you are going to be. id rather get burned occsionally because i trusted someone (not foolish trust, mind you) than be all jaded and bitter from past experiences and not trust people.
I trust people so easily it's crazy. I can meet you one time and be ready to sit down and tell you my whole life story. Of course, it does have the disadvantage of always getting burned and all..but I bounce back pretty quick.
ha ha, im not by any means jaded (I love that word jaded)or bitter from past experiences, I just am very careful in trusting people, how can that limit the type of person you are,Who says you need to be burned to create a personality for you. By not trusting people doesnt mean I dont make friends with other people. I am just careful as to who I open myself up to.
this is an argument or confrontation or skirmish that no one is gonna win. so lets all go skinny dipping. i got dibs on putting my boxers on my head !
Eek it's to cold for that member what happened last time you went skinny dipping in the coldness, in the ocean.
yea it was cold. thats all i remember. then i had to drive home cold. that wasn't fun
Im not exactly the type of person that needs to spill there guts to 10 or 20 or 5 people. I never ever was, even when i was little little. I keep things to myself, always have. I didnt need other people comforting me for whatever it was. Some people do, I don't. Its like I never needed a crowd of kids to hang out with every weekend, I'm totally content with just hanging out with my husband, or hanging out with one other person. Some people need that security of many friends around. I just dont. I tend to be a small circle of friends girl than even just knowing a 100 or 20 kids. I dont need to go outside the circle, even if it was just me and another person.Doesnt mean I dont expand, I just keep to myself.
and thats your prefrence and thats cool, but others might prefer to widen out...and that doesnt really mean they need security of people around them, it just means that they enjoy the company of those they trust without having a hard shell for people to break through.
listen i dont feel as if i have to defend myself. the point of this journal was to get it off my chest.. it was bothering me. i actually agree with you... i should have been taking care of all of this for a while now.. but the point is i HAVENT.. i never asked anyone to take care of things. i was told, as long as youre pioneering...and single i would be some-what helped. i really couldn't care less how YOU feel i should have been raised. the fact is, thats not how it was. thanks for the concern.
I have been paying all my own bills including dental/health everything since about age 17 or so, and i moved out on my own at age 20, so i'm not just talkin out my butt i know it's rough and I know I have definitely learned a lot from being on my own for a long time. And I do agree that it's good to take responsibility for your own self and your bills etc. However, I think that when someone offers to help you, and then they help you, and then they suddenly stop helping you, it's not nice. Especially when you're a pioneer, sometimes things DO get taken care of for you. Or if you're a Circuit Overseer, things get TAKEN CARE OF for you. Who would blame a circuit overseer if suddenly a congregation told him, you have to move out of the apartment we built for you now, we dont feel like having you there anymore. Would you say to the circuit overseer that he should have been paying his own rent in the first place??
It's like... MOST people's parents pay for their kids wedding right? So if on your wedding day they suddenly say "nope i'm not paying" it's obviously not your fault, it's the parents fault.
Or how most people's parents pay for their college. What if you're going to college and suddenly your parents say, "i have no more money to pay for you, oh and by the way I didn't pay the last bill either.. sorry forgot to tell ya." and you're already half-way thru the semester, and so you HAVE to pay for it. It's not YOUR fault...
I duno that's my thoughts on it
ORR!! ORR!! Or if Bethelites were suddenly told they have to pay for their food and shelter!! Would anyone say "well they should have done this to you a long time ago so you learn about the real life"... eh... i duno i definitely wouldn't.
yeah, you definitly cant seperate avenues of full-time service and say one is more important than another, or deserves more or less help than another.
That is an awesome argument kam!
When someone finds themselves in a situation as such described in this journal, it is never easy. It DOES NOT matter what age you are. If the person was 17 or 70 - it doesn't matter, growing up happens at different times for everyone.
I have been paying my bills and working since I was 13 - that is what I was dealt and that's me. ALL of our situations vary from family to family.
Tina, I'm sorry this is how you have to deal with all this, but you are doing awesome and are going to land so on your feet, it's going to be amazing.
For the person(s) who feels their viewpoint is so real, I have to also add - being harsh is never the way to get your point across. Being rude and hurtful will ONLY alientate the few people still around you - so next time you want to talk real about life... choose your words more carefully. I guess all your viewpoints are easy to throw when you marry into money and throwing around advice comes easier than applying it yourself.
By the way you are right - there are a tremendous amount of typos - for one, responcabilitys is spelled responsibility and has no C in it.
you know what i think. i think that if you all were cheap jews and never spent any of your money this wouldn't be a problem. so be a jew.
that's what i wanted to think, i just dind't have the guts.
i agree. I think an attitude of "Oh, this is how it should be done, youre wrong" is one that is easy to have on the sidelines when all of your needs are already being taken care of by a husband. We always seem to know the best way someone shouldve handeled something, but our own lives could look screwed up to everyone else. and Lauren, that was awesome. HAHAHA, I literally laughed out loud at that response.
are you saying my husband is paying for me?
ya married into money , that'd be nice.
Your user name confuses me because it's starts with a "th" and so does mine so when I see things you wrote I think I wrote them and that I'm going insane because I don't remember writing them.
And guys, thank you so much for your support & concern. I really appreciate it more than i can express. Thank you :) I love you all (esspecially thewalkhome)
love ya teen don't forget what i said
awww me sorry :( you'll get thru it! i believe! hercules! hercules! :D
i think for the next two weeks, we should have a save the pa pioneer drive and 50% of all ezabel donations will be forwarded to this fund....
sounds like a definate plan.