Wave of weddings
by So lots of my buddies are tying the knot. Im realizing as I type this, that the term "tying the knot", while a great sybol for a strong bond (ie: marraiage, duh), also could carry the connotation of hanging ones self. ha. and i think for a couple of my budies, that is exactly what theyre gonna be doing. however, some of them are making amazing choices in their prospective wives. i personally cant wait until i get married, its gonna be absolutly incredible. but see, it all comes down to who you marry and if theyre gonna work as hard to make things work. my theory is this...in the truth, (while the dating process can be made much more laborious), we have an advantage. if the person is realy on point, then both husband and wife have a simliar schedule, similar values, the same plans on at least 3 days a week, and the same knowledge of what it takes to make things work. so what it all comes down to is if the personalities mix well and if goals and perpectives match up. sort of. anyways..my point...i have a buddy who recently told me not just that hes finally engaged, but that im gonna be his best man. now thats cool..this guy is one of my best friends, and even though this guy has 2 brothers, he asked me. its gonna be a blast. problem is, the girl hes marrying is...well...let me say rough. shes controlling, insecure, and throws guilt around like its a salt shaker. she makes him into a grumpy kid, and sort of puts a rift into his family. he wont listen to anyone because hes as stubborn as a mule. so im questioning whether or not to keep pushing the issue of her insanity with him, or leave it go. i have told him about it once, but told him no matter what, we're boys and ill support his INFORMED decision...and i will be his best man no matter what. but i just think he could do much better. so how far do i take it?
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at the end you'll probabaly find out that he's not really going to marry her, but that it was jsut a reality tv show where he was pretending to marry her
HAHAHA...my big fat controlling fiancee
first of all... leave it go? cmon, just cuz youre dating a PA girl doesnt mean you have to talk like the PA people....anyway i think what youve done so far is all you can really do. Youve warned him, but yet still kept that friendship... so now youve been a good friend but you dont want to over do it. in the end, youre still going to be buddies with him no matter what. so i think this is as far as it should be taken... but thats just my opinion of course.
Thank you! That PA dutch accent makes me CRAZY!!!!!!!!
ps: youre a cutie.
get a rooooom!
pay for it for us.
that can be arranged
thanks tina... i love you too.
HAHAA mike i love you booty man. when to i get to see you and grab it again...
hahaha, anytime your ready for all of **THIS**
I think you have done as much as you could and you have to leave it at that. It's ultimately his decision and if he is "in love" it's going to be hard to tell him otherwise. You've been a good friend by respectfully showing your concern, if you went any further, you might risk the friendship.
i agree. pushing the issue will only put a strain on your friendship. As frustrating as it is, from exp. i know the best thing to do is just be there to support him no matter what. and he's going to need you when reality hits.
my bro is gettin married. I may need a new partner to go with me if the person who agreed to go won't
This can be a real touchy situation. I try to think of it this way...things are not always as they seem. There might be a lot going on in their relationship that you don't understand. Then again there might not. The thing is though..if you are this close, it would probably be a good idea to support your friend in his decision.
1- Take your buddy out
2- Get him reaaalll drunk
3- Tell him what you think of the girl
4- Get him to somehow pinky swear that he agrees with you. Video tape this part.
5- Sober him up with a cold bucket of ice and send him home.
6- The next day show him the tape. He can no longer marry this girl because he pinky swore that he agreed with you. No one goes back on that.
pinky swears are like, more contractual than a mortgage.
someone please mark this as informative.
wont work...i swore id only use my drunken pinky swearing super powers for fighting crime.
you said "leave it go"...lol
But seriously, trying to talk to someone who is in love, about seeing what is really going on in their relationship - is like trying to stop a speeding train by standing in front of it.
I mean, you should approach the topic in an ultra cool, non-confrontation matter [like I know you would ofcourse :)]
but sometimes unless one of the people in the relationship realizes it for themselves, on their own - the advice doesn't go to far.
I don't know though, you're good friends with him so maybe it'll be different. Luv yah.
by saying anything more.. you're just gonna make them love each other more... and thatgirls whole getting drunk plan... works!
what if i just go out to a bar, have a bunch of drinks, and then come home, call over some people and make some more drinks and then...hmm...well, heck, thats good enough for me.
man, lets hang out more
haha...b.y.o.b.
I agree that a lot of the time, you just kinda have to let it go and not say anything because it probably won't accomplish anything.
HOWEVER.... it is very frustrating when you brake up with someone and EVERYONE is like "yeah you two were not good together" or "yeah i never liked him" or "yeah i think he's gay"
It's like... thanks guys, i coulda used that information a couple months ago, or whatnot. But what can ya do. Ya can't win.
i remember that happend to me once...SOOOOO bad...my friend was like...oh you didn't know (and proceeded to tell me something SOOO bad, i can't even repeat it on here)
yeah that sucks. It's not realy that that happened to me persay, but i've seen it happen a lot. No one says anything, and then afterwards people are like GOOD THING YOU BROKE UP!!! haha it's weird.
they think it makes you feel better but really it makes you feel worse
This Journal actually applies to Cerrato i'm getting married this summer
me too! we should have a double wedding.
can i be head usher..in charge of who sits next to who
make sure all the hotties sit next to me
i'll see what i can do
I do feel for you and understand your frustration. We just went through the same thing with one of our friends. The thing is, share your concerns and let it be. If you keep pressuring him he'll be more drawn to stick with her. So it's best to share your concerns with him and pray to Jah that he opens your friends eyes"
*how do his parents feel??
his mom is cool..she really dislikes the girl for this guy, and has said so, but is welcoming her into the family anyway.
waves of weddings? expect waves of babies to follow!
Hrm...what do I post here and in what detail do I go without talking to you in person. Well I'll say this. You're buddy's girl friend reminds me exactly of what I saw (well see now) in my ex-wife. She was very controlling, very insecure, and she also threw guilt in my face at every opportunity. Maybe she didn't do it intentially but she did it. I too was warned and paid no attention. I was in love and that's all I wanted to know and see. Sometimes it's a hard lesson to learn but we eventually learn it. Perhaps it's something she'll grow out of or if he talks to her about it she'll realize it.
With me it got to the point that, while she might have been thinking it was cute, was really pissing me off. I'd bring it up to her constantly but it did no good. It was one of the things that eventually led to us drifting a part in certain ways. Now I'm in no way implying that my divorce was all her fault, it takes two to tango. But had I listened to reason early on I wouldn't have gone through the hell that was a good part of 2002 and all of 2003.
So I'd say sit down with your friend, really hit him in the heart with how you feel. Use me as an example if you want, if we can't learn from our mistakes we're just going to keep making them.
And you're right, we're fortunate being in the truth. If only I did things Jehovah's way I'd be much happier. But you reap what you sow. But talk to him, open his eyes. If he sees it and accepts it that's one thing. But when he's getting called from two stories away to change the channel when the remote is at her feet tell him not to complain.