Journal Entry #15

Pretty good day overall. I brought Eagles of Death Metal to work. People were like, "THIS ISN'T DEATH METAL!" and "THIS ISN'T THE EAGLES!" and "PUT HOT97 BACK ON, CRACKA, OR I'LL CUT YOU UP AND PUT YOU IN A MATTRESS LIKE YOU WAS DRUG MONEY!"

I was watching COPS a little while ago and I thought of a bit for a movie:

*
two criminals in a car, one videotaping the other, are participating in a "cops" style monologue. the criminal being filmed is talking ad-lib nonsense about the street and the crimes he's about to commit and why.

at the same time, a camera crew is filming a cop dictating what his civic duty is and how he's gonna clean up the streets.

the cameras meet and the naratives overlap! the cop with the film crew is chasing the two criminals after they've robbed a liquor store. now two camera POVs overlap with all kinds of funny and creative editting! the camera man hops a fence and lands on the other side easily. the other criminal realizes he is going to be caught throws the bag of money over the fence to the camera man. the camera POVs switch back and forth appropriately. the cop catches the one criminal and begins to cuff him while talking the usual cop nonsense. the criminal with the camera is still filming the cop while he's cuffing his friend. the cop, while trying to cuff the criminal, begins telling the man with the camera to put down the camera and give up. the camera's POVs are now face to face! a stand off! after a moment, there are sirens and the criminal runs away.

afterward, both the cop and the camera toting criminal are in their vehicles leaving the scene, giving their respective breathless retrospectives.

the cop talks arrogantly about doing his job and making the streets safe, satisfied he nabbed at least one of them.

the criminal talks similarly about his criminal prowess and how fast a runner he is and how out of shape the cop is.

a while later, the criminal pulls his car into an alley. he changes his shirt, puts on a red baseball cap and walks up the block to a taco stand where he buys a taco.

as the criminal is about to leave, the cop walks up to the same stand and buys four tacos.

they pass each other unknowingly and nod quite pleasantly
*

I can see this all VERY clearly in my head. i think VERY cinematically. always have. i crack myself up on a regular basis with this stuff. the "air" of it is a combo of Reno 911, Cops, Boyz in the Hood and low budget indie movies.

tonight at the meeting, the reader of the no.2 talk was AWOL, so i filled in. i go up there, bang it out, no problem. i was feelin' good, y'know? well, later that night my girlfriend tells me i look funny in a suit! that took the jam outta my donut, for sure! girls sure know how make a guys day, lol!

g'night, soul