My Retirement
by So I'm in the kitchen, walking around, eating some peanut butter and crackers after the meeting when I see one of my dad's weird Money Management magazines. "5 Year Preperation for your Retirement!" the cover screamed at me. So I stopped, and thought for a second. And felt kinda guilty. Here I am, 24, and I have YET to plan for my retirement. I haven't saved one penny for this. I have saved for a video camera, and maybe the new PSP if Sony ever gets around to releasing it, but no, not a penny for my retirement. And a 5 year program! This is ridiculous. I do not have 5 years of my life to waste planning my retirement.
But, in truth (ahem - actual fact coming up!) most people will never get social security. Or won't make any money from it. Or won't remember how to spell it. Something. I forget. Anyway, I was thinking - why should I plan and save for my retirement if I can just make $15/hr at Wal-Mart like all the other old people? Let's address some potential roadblocks my friends and family may present on why this wouldn't work.
1. "There aren't enough wal-marts" - yeah, right - that's like saying there aren't enough McDonalds. There is a Wal-Mart everywhere. And I've never heard anyone say "your wal-mart is TINY!" because they're all tooo big.
2. "What about inflation?" That's a good point. $1 used to buy 5 cokes - now it doesn't buy 1. But I'm thinking that this will have some bearing on the Wal-Mart salary. Plus Wal-mart will have less competition in the future.
3. "Why do you want to work in your retirement?" Maybe so I don't get bored and whine about the Good Ol Days, like other old people do. I'll be in touch with the younger population - I'll probably work in the music department, in the "alternative 90's rock" section.
4. "What about your golf game?" I was thinking I could reinact various scenes from Happy Gilmore inside the Wal-Mart. That "mista-mista" scene comes to mind - I'm sure wal-mart has airconditioners.
AI Summary
55 Comments
wow dude...ur MAD old
you got something against "old" M&M boy???
*i'm 30+1
nope we all loooove older women. it's the grandpa thing we don't..
but guys age gracefully, unlike most women
nope... just when you old farts drive... GET OUTTA THE WAY AND GET BACK IN THE NURSING HOME WHERE YOU BELONG!
haha did you see the south park the other day with all the sr citizens driving and killing people? so true
hey i probably drive better than you, experience comes with age so now I'm NASCAR perfection!
as long as you don't look like richard petty we're ok...
HAHAHA ewwwww, i don't look like a man :P
WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH... aww man, bring it ON! get your big latino butt over here and ill race you ANY TIME!!!!! im telling you... you can say im fat, make fun of my honda... but i drive better than EVERYONE!
OH ITS ON italian M&M!!!! I'll show you i drive better than you AND i'm a GIRL!!!!
well yeah... well thats 2 strikes against you... 1st your Latino, and SECOND your a girl... maybe you should give me your keys and get some rollerskates... ill letcha hang onto the bumper.
i'm not Latino, but i am a latinA.....
i'm one of the BEST chick drivers out there so you're gonna be CRYING to mommy when i show you up!!!!!
wait, that's not very significant. Doesn't he cry to his mommy on an hourly basis? Katie, back me up here...
ouch... toochee my friend.... or touch.... whatever
hopefully i get social security..
if not i have my pension and 401 k, which have been going for the past 4 years..
hopefully by the time i retire at 60+... i'll have 1 meeeeeeeeeeellllllllllion dollars.
oh your fingers hurt? well now your back is gonna hurt b/c you just pulled landscaping duty.
you're in my world now, grandma.
i've been debating on whether to start a 401K portfolio. but maybe i don't want to think about it b/c i REEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLY need the new system to come before i'm that old.
thats what i used to think to. so i have a little aside just in case...but i don't want to think about it
Dude, I've been doing my 401k since 1998. Get with it.
*psst - you're a weirdo
he's a smart weirdo... i gotta get going on that
you gotta get going on not being gay too...
HAHAHhaA i love all the jabs at matt's sexuality. one day he will start to think he is...
Perhaps it's too late.....
i probably would be gay, but i'm not neat enough to attract any gay guys. so i'll have to just be straight, oh well
o_O
ditto. mines been running since 1999..
whats the forecast if you have 15,000 by 30 you should be alright?
Hey ian, can you give me some info on starting a 401k, or did you do it through your company?
through my company. are you full time? they should have a 401k or at least some pension or annuity fund you can do
not sure if they do or not, Aventis does, but not my contracting agency i dont think
what happens say if you switch jobs? do you transfer the 401k? take it out? know of any good websites explaining this?
it all depends. usually you can transfer it to your new job. but, if your company matches some amount that you invest into it, you may not get 100% of the money they put into it unless you're fully vested, or other rules the particular company has in place.
ask your HR dept about it.
heh and im going to assume that my boss is evil enough to release me as soon as that 'fully vested' period is about to happen, gotta love it
unfortunately most smaller companies do not offer such benefits.
yeah? hrm. well, I don't really know, I've only ever worked for two companies. One was around 500 employees; they had a 401k and would match $0.50 on a dollar up to some amount.
And my current company has only 30 employees; they have a 401k, but don't match anything on it, which is kinda beat.
Well, if your company doesn't have a 401k, you should definitely be investing in a Roth IRA.
Doesn't ING do 401K? I don't think you need to be in any certain co to enroll do you?
i'm never getting old
we're gonna live forever...
Eh age is a state of mind... so the older you get you can take care of your responsibilities, this is true - but still cause a rukus? Could you describe the rukus sir?
-what do you need a fake id for?
-so i can vote!
niiice.
everything works out. what do you care now? do you really think youll have no money and be homeless when you're old? can you remember the last time you heard of someone you know starving to death. youre young and need to worry about things a little more pertinent.
uhm obviously you never read the Awake magazine. go pick some up.
I understand your point. You're talking about the poverty article right?. Im just saying do you honestly, personally know someone who is starving? Are you from the Phillipines? If so, my bad.
that's not very smart thinking. it's always good to plan ahead. just ask somebody who has to work until they're 75 just to get by if they wish they had planned things a little better, i think you know the answer you'll get
yes, i know the answer. if only i'd started that oompa band back then, we'd be platinum by now.
It's never too early to start planning ahead. A retirement account is so important to start as young as possible.
yeah, it's too bad I don't have one started yet. Thought the way I live, I'm more likely to die doing something safe than I am when I do something a little more dangerous. So that means, when I'm old and safe, next think you know, I'll be dead.
Hmm...never thought about that before.
wow, your logic is somewhat reminscient of a older much more INSANE member of eZabel... you and this "person" should hang out...