I'm a Murderer
I hate driving in the rain. I have bad vision and the combo of darkness and rainfall is impossible. Not to mention my aftershock jitters from rolling a car due to torrential downpour. As a result, I am very cautious in the rain. I drive the limit, and get out of the way of speed freaks-go ahead, roll your car if you dare. Crossing the Seaside Heights bridge to get home when it's pouring is anything but delightful. People are speeding and not staying in their less than spacious lanes.
Last night I thought I was doing pretty well. Being careful...gold stars for me. I'm driving in the middle lane on the bridge, almost home. I am craving my bed. Lo and behold a retarded seagull steps off the sidewalk of the bridge for a leisurely stroll of doom. He slowly crosses the left lane to the center as my headlights zoom in. I honk at him thinking for sure that he would fly away. Ok no. I hit the brakes and skid. Ok, bad idea (since there were other cars around me and I'd rather not crash into the bay at night). Before I know it, I fell a thump and I see a few feathers floating in the air. My first kill. I frantically reach for my phone and call Brian. I am crying, no sobbing. I've never killed an animal. I hate birds but I'd never kill one. I'm nice to animals. I cut up the rings on six packs of soda and I support the humane society. When it comes to animals, I can be sympathetic to a fault. I felt so bad. To make matters worse, everyone seemed to be talking about birds today at work, what gives???
I hope his death was quick and painless. I don't look forward to seeing his mangled body on the side of the bridge on my commute home.
AI Summary
26 Comments
that's sad. i've never killed yet i'm dreading the day, but this one time my brother ran this deer over and the poor thing. it got stuck under the car. the car smelled like burnt deer for days. it was a very traumatic event
what does burnt deer smell like anyway?
haha like burnt deer of course! it smells really gross, cause since it was alive it wasn't like the smell of cooking meat in general cause it had hair still and we all know how horrible burned hair smells
haha na-na-naaaasty!
Does it make me a bad driver if i killed my first squirrel like 2 months after i got my license??
Aw poor you and poor seagull. What can you do?
i'm sorry i laughed, honey
oh man, i thought this was another dream
Feathers everywhere isn't fun. It's pretty upsetting.
maybe he was terminally ill (hence the retarded leisurely stroll of doom) and you put him out of his misery. euthanasia for animals is okay. sad, but okay.
I ran over a cat once. It was so late and dark that I thought it was just a pile of leaves. It must have been mentally challenged or something, because it didn't move out of the way at all. Survival of the fittest, I guess.
Another time, I was on 80 and this 18-wheeler in front of me nailed a deer. Some of the flesh and blood landed on my windsheild. It was like 90 degrees outside and I was out of windshield fluid. Bleh.
ha ha, i hate birds to, but i am deathly afraid /sad of running one over.
i think i only ran over a possum , Im not sure if i killed it or just hurt it, but it was traumatic!
:(
"why you all up in my grill?"
you poor thing! i almost hit a bird. we were doing early service and this one bird was walking in the lane and i didn't have time to swerve and it wouldn't fly aways so i slowed down as much as i could and made sure i went over the bird (i have an SUV so my car is a bit higher) to where it was in the middle of my car and safe from my tires. we looked back and the bird was ok and flew away.
We were driving to PA in June, and I was in the passenger seat, telling Adam a very animated story (I gesture a LOT), when all of a sudden, I look right in front of me and see this poor little birdie connect with our windshield, SO close, that I saw it's neck bend in a position that didn't look like Mr. Birdie enjoyed it too much. It TOTALLY freaked me out, and I stopped my story, and I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing as well, for a good minute or so.
I hate killing animals. :(
You killed a bird.
you are no longer my lovvvvvaHHHHHh
in your own defense, this would make you a manslaughterer and not a murderer...