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fart

A
by alex
· Apr 5, 2007 · 456 views · Article

i like to fart. it is fun.

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41 Comments

juicymango #1 juicymangoOG 2003

NO IT IS NOT!! you are so wrong!!! my god i can't believe how immature and uncultured you are!!!!

haha

punkprincess #1.1 punkprincessOG 2001 informative

i know commenting on this is dumb b/c its from too long ago. but kam, i used to hang out with you and well...lets say i know a girl with the WORST smelling farts that used to clean out a room.

juicymango #1.1.1 juicymangoOG 2003

omg hahaha..

fivezero #1.1.1.1 fivezeroOG 2003

BUSTED!

punkprincess #1.1.1.2 punkprincessOG 2001

remember that time we all left friendly's?

ahhh friendly's .... good times.

juicymango juicymangoOG 2003

bahaha or during the cruise.. in my sleep.. oyy

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

oh my goodness!

remember that night on the cruise where you me and josh were hanging out, and i talked to you guys in my sleep?

juicymango juicymangoOG 2003

lol.. what.. i actually do not recall that hahaha.. sounds funny tho

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder

i went to friendly's a few times with people, is that the same one?

i went by applebees right off 287 yesterday with angela and i was telling her how me, you, ty, ian, mike, and kevin (the guy i carpooled with), and others would all meet up for lunch there sometimes

that was fun

punkprincess punkprincessOG 2001

it was the friendly's in metuchen...so im not sure.

oh man that used to be so much fun! we went to a couple of places around that area. do you still work on centenial ave?

thefunkyfresh thefunkyfreshFounder

no i haven't worked there in more than 4 years, but those were some good times

forrestina #2 forrestinaOG 2002

I know a family that calls them hiney burps which sounds way too cute.

forrestina #3 forrestinaOG 2002 funny

I have no shame...

When I was 10 years old, I used to babysit a kid down the street from me. He had ADD and was extremely out of control (even for a boy). If his mom didn't give him his Ridalin, he would stick his head in the toilet and put his turtle in the microwave and all sorts of crazy junk. Most of the stuff he pulled frustrated me more than anything else.

The worst was that he would sit on my lap and pretend to be all sweet and then let out a huge fart! I don't have any brothers and my sisters never did anything like that so, at first, I didn't know how to retaliate. After one or two babysitting visits, I decided all he needed was a taste of his own medicine. So, I pinned him on the couch and summoned the wind from within and let it rip. He never farted on me again and has the utmost respect for me to this day.

thefunkyfresh #3.1 thefunkyfreshFounder

haha hilarious.

my gf's little brother always wants me to fart in his face for some reason... weird

forrestina #3.1.1 forrestinaOG 2002

this sister in my bookstudy thinks "your own farts are an accomplishment. they almost smell sweet." so i guess some people find a thrill in the one man salute.

superhero #3.2 superheroOG 2004

i modded this funny because of the way you described the wind from within

originalsnob #4 originalsnobOG 2004 funny

At work there's this chick that knows everything, she butts in everywhere wherever possible, is so loud that most can hear her at the opposite end of the office even when on personal calls.
Just one of those rare gems =)

It just so happens that in addition to all the afore mentioned Sterling attributes Lady's a burly* broad that stiffens at the elbows as she walks (like a lumber jack) honest.
At one point here was a toss up between whether to refer to her as Broomhilda or Helga...HELGA won out.

There's a point to all this set up I swear.

Helga is the queen of CRASS. In her spare time she enjoys emitting toxic flatulence followed by a signature brusque exit. Honest to goodness she just walks away leaving a wake of devastation. Once or twice in total I could possibly excuse but, goodness gravy two three FOUR times a day?!?!?

It's to the extent that we recognize it's her. There's just this horrible wall of putrid funk that overtakes you as though you're taking your last breath, IT BURNNNS =(

Normal farts I can deal, they slip (I guess) that's permitted but, just eating who knows what and then letting loose on the unsuspecting public NOT COOL.

superhero #4.1 superheroOG 2004

i modded this funny because you vividly described the wall of putrid funk that BURRNS

fivezero #5 fivezeroOG 2003

whoa, i just got a big ad for swimsuits on this page. the girl incidentally is VERY good looking, lol.

tesoro #5.1 tesoroOG 2001

She has a butter face.

originalsnob #5.1.1 originalsnobOG 2004

Te he butter face!?!? Like Vanessa Carlton & Michelle Branch, they look so different, like Cabbage Patch Kids. They look very soft but, not in a sexy or feminine way... more as though they're faces were carved out of a boiled potato.

flomojopoanode #6 flomojopoanodeFounder

I think Adam probably laughed so hard he burst his lungs the first time he farted. But I bet his attempts to recreate the sound were messy.

flomojopoanode #6.1 flomojopoanodeFounder

adam as in adam and eve.

flomojopoanode #6.1.1 flomojopoanodeFounder

hey eve. pull my finger.

malibu #6.1.1.1 malibuOG 2001

1)i can't believe you just typed that
2)i cant belivieve how hysterical i am right now after reading it.

originalsnob originalsnobOG 2004

1) Totally believe this was typed =D
2) Need you to CHECK INBOX ASAP

thatdarngirl #7 thatdarngirlOG 2002

I love this journal.

thefunkyfresh #7.1 thefunkyfreshFounder funny

the funny thing is that alex didn't even write it, i found out the other day that my sister saw that he left himself logged in and she typed it

thatdarngirl #7.1.1 thatdarngirlOG 2002

This kind of makes it funnier.

thatdarngirl #8 thatdarngirlOG 2002

There was a boy sitting infront of me in class the other day that just lifted up his one buttcheek during the lesson and let out a fart. He's my hero.

T
#9 toxicgirlOG 2003

wow, there's two google ads for fart ringtones. how would you like that to go off during a meeting?

socalgal #10 socalgalOG 2003

hahaha one of the ads says "is your dog suffering from bad gas"

superhero #10.1 superheroOG 2004

i almost miss these ads i'm not seeing, but then again, not really

iwz #10.1.1 iwz

haha, i actually have adblock disabled on ezabel just so i can get a chuckle out of them. it's always surprising to see what gets shown.

so far, i've made $16.09 from the ads. that's kinda neat.

thatdarngirl #10.2 thatdarngirlOG 2002

You can buy farts on ebay, supposedly.

ilikebirds #11 ilikebirdsOG 2002

one time.. i had a girl standing behind me as i prepared to mount my motorcycle. she was going to hop on right after so she was standing basically right behind me.
As I lifted my leg up to throw over to the other side... a beautiful orchestra of fart noises came out of my loin region.

flomojopoanode #11.1 flomojopoanodeFounder

lol. and? what'd she do?

B
#12 brothermanOG 2004

My farts are works of art. I once gassed my ex-wife out of the apartment we shared when we were married. Definitely one of my finest moments. The key ingredient....BK onion rings and their special Oring sauce.

thefunkyfresh #12.1 thefunkyfreshFounder

are they "works o' fart"???

superhero #13 superheroOG 2004

i can't believe that any guys actually believe it's cool to fart in front of a woman.

when i need to fart, i go outside and take the garbage out, then let a super bad one rip, then give it a few minutes before i go back inside. i told lauren what i do after our being married for about 6 months and she was very grateful

thefunkyfresh #13.1 thefunkyfreshFounder

you're crazy. i fart in front of my wife all the time. almost constantly. i farted in front of her just now.

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