Theocratic One-Liners

I got this in my e-mailbox recently.. enjoy!

1. Give Jehovah what's right -- not what's left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- Jehovah's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma-- but never let him be the period.

6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the Kingdom Hall for a face-lift.

8. When praying, don't give Jehovah instructions -- just report for duty.

9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to the Kingdom Hall.

10. We don't change Jehovah's message -- His message changes us.

11. The Kingdom Hall is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

14. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

15. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

16. Exercise daily -- walk with God.

17. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.

18. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

19 Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

20. He who angers you controls you.

21. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

22. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

23. Be fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.

24. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.