Joke: The Chicken

FROM DAVID'S INBOX: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Note: I am posting this just as I received it... I hope it doesn't offend

anyone...

GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken

crossing the road represented  the application of these two different

functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the

American people.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by

unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled

habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels

of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting

a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is

already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road

syndrome.  Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?

Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax

dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to

build roads for chickens to cross.

P.E.T.A. SPOKESPERSON

What business is it of yours why the chicken crossed the road? The chicken

had every right to cross the road, more right than you have, since the

chicken never murdered or enslaved another animal for its own pleasure.

MARTHA STEWART

If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be fully justified

in blocking its exit until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it

for trespassing. I am a private person and should not have to be subjected

to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

plain truth in front of your face?  The chicken was going to the"other

side.  "That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes,

my friends, that

chicken is gay.  And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we

boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media

whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without

having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us

that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the

chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame

a  serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of

crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in

dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death

its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

KEN STARR

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the

President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law

enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our

highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken

is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct

justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to

offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our

investigation.  Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other

side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations

have been

completed.

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have

to cross before you believe it?

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road

reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but

will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your

checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?

Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the

"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken," Thou

shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much

rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?