A Disturbing Revelation

I'm sick of everybody saying that I plagerize...In fact, I feel that it is my duty to let you people, the REAL backbone of ezabel, know that there is some dirty work afoot! As my dad used to say, "Get out of the bathroom Matt! Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance!?" Which really has nothing to do with the current situation we are facing, but my when the people of this country can't even look for solice in the stability of this government, when the very PRESIDENCY remains on shaky ground, we should have somewhere to look to for comfort. Mr. Ian Zabel claimed to offer us that, he CLAIMED to offer us the so called "red pill". But I feel it is my responsibility to reveal the truth, and believe me, it hurts to break your hearts. But the truth is this, Mr. Ian Zabel not only tries to be like me in every way (i.e. height, one hand clapping ability, flock of seagulls hairdo, etc.), but he also attributed my "FRESSHHHH" reputation to Barry White!! How wrong is that?? We the people, deserve better.