This is no Watergate!

Funny how life imitates art. Funny how a kitten chasing a ball of string will always make you smile. Funny how you get that vomiting reflex every time Kathy Lee Gifford comes on the tele. NOT FUNNY HOW I AM BEING PORTRAYED AS A CRIMINAL ON THE EZABEL NETWORK!!! I would just like to say to you, the people who until last night at 8:05PM Eastern Standard Time so joyously frolicked the boundries of Ezabel, that I had no part in this little "vote rocking" scheme that Mr. Ian Zabel speaks of. What is more likely however, is that Mr. Ian Zabel rocked the vote himself in a jealous rage as a desperate effort to frame me! Many have been wronged already: Mike, Larry, and Brett have also been charged with these allegations. We will not stand for this type of a MOCKERY in America!

I am not a crook, I am not a criminal, I am not a sheister, I am not a hoodlum...I'm gonna set it straight this Watergate! No matter what. I already have Mike's vote. I know that YOU will back the right man.