Reasons why I will never get married

#10 - I will be able to buy a pillowtop mattress and sleep in luxury if I feel like it.

#9 - I will be to get my haircut wherever & spend however much I want to pamper myself to look good.

#8 - Sitting on the couch playing video games & drinking beer will not be my highlight of the weekend.

#7 - Drinking cheap beer because that's all we can afford.

#6 - Inviting friends over & letting them sit on cardboard boxes because I have no furniture.

#5 - Making my best friends buy $65 shoes - identical of course - that they will never wear again just so they will all look the same walking down the aisle.

#4 - Getting excited about shopping for curtains & dish towels.

#3 - Getting excited about who my kids will hang out with.

#2 - Making my best friends wear a dress with an extra butt attached just in case theirs isn't big enough.

AND THE #1 REASON -

So we won't have to beg the guy to propose to us.

Update (by iwz): I just hope that no one actually attempts stealing a wedding dress and then wearing it in the wedding pictures, like this girl from London.