Taking Offense and Making Ammends

An open letter to the editor:

I have a problem with the picture gallery entitled "Midgets, Cucumbers and Mexicans" first of all, i find the word "midget" as a very derogatory term, and it should not be used in any instance, even if you think it may get a cheap laugh (Thats right I'm talking to YOU Mr. Ian Zabel!!). The politically correct term that should have been used would be "person so small, they could easily be squashed by one careless misstep of Regis Philbin". This not only less disparaging to our little shrimpy friends, but it's also much shorter, consise, and to the point.

Also the phantom vegetable that Brett is so bravely and brashfully brandishing is not a cucumber...but a zucchini. There may be opposition to my view in this, but I firmly believe in my convictions that it is indeed a zucchini. Yes the zucchini, the most dangerous and evil of all the vegetables.

Thank you for your time and please refrain from any more libelous banter. It is totally unbeseeming of this fine web site to sink to such a detractory level of debauchery and whittling drivel. How one man could say so little in so many words is improbable, inconcievable, and unimaginable.

Signed...

Mr. Matthew Dawson Kelly (All Around Good Guy and Pending Philanthropist)