wow, i can imagine that being really hard, evne though i've never experienced that for myself. but i can think about the freinds that i have and imagoine how it would hurt me if they were to be expelled from the congregation. I guess it's imprtant in that situation to pour out your heart to Jehovah on the matter, look for his comfort. Like what David said, when his disquietiing thoughts were disturbing him, Jehovah's consolations began to 'fondle his soul'(Psalm 94:19). Jehovah will surely do the same for you. Just keep praying and seeking comfort in Jehovah and true freinds, and He will make sure that the "peace of God that excels all thought" guards your heart. (Philippians 4:6-7) I pray that Jehovah takes care of you while you're undergoing these losses and trials and sadness. I'm sure that He will. :)