I feel your pain, try being related to him. As the older brother I had hoped he learned from my mistakes. Yet he seemed to have fell in the same trap I did. I love him to death and he was my best friend. He came over and we went out to diner the night before and we talked. At least I was able to give him the warnings I didn't have. I started out strong, going to the meetings, but I eventually faded. It's like Paul said, you have lost the love you had at first. That's what happened to me. I slowly lost the love I had for the truth and for Jehovah and fell into pit after pit. Satan continually threw things in front of my face that were never there when you're protected by Jehovah's loving arms.

I made that very clear to him and told him to be careful. He's got a good attitude and I hope he's able to stay that way. I wrote him a poem the night before it was announced:

I fell, you were there, you saw the pain I caused
Or did you? Were you sleeping, did you put your life on pause?

You're world seemed to crash, at least that's what I heard
You were sick, got a bit rash, and hid like a bird

I found out the hard way, if only I listened
the warnings were there, they even glistened
I paid them no heed, and fell on my back
Why did I let my greed cause me to crack?

I was so happy to see you doing so well
These traps I was in, caused me to yell
you seemed to listen, but was it for real?
Would you make the same mistakes, did you understand my deal?

I hoped you paid attention, lessons learned
I paid the price I prayed you wouldn't get burned

A whole new perspective you've given me
I now see what I've caused, become a reality

I understand all too much the pain I caused
The hurt I feel I can't just pause

I've never been on this side before, it's certainly no fun
This pain I feel, you worry me, I can't see the sun

I love you my brother, my best friend
Hang in there, stay strong, endure to the end

Know I'll be there waiting, with open arms
I hope you avoid all of Satan's charms
Till that time should come
I'll be here praying, a tune I'll hum
la da dee, la da dum
-----

I pray that he returns soon. I know he's a good kid and has a good heart. He totally as the right attitude with the whole thing. He recoginizes that Jehovah disciplines those he loves. This is a blessing. I hope too that this will help him to mature into the man he will be become. I'm sure he'll have the right attitude all the way through. I just look at myself and recognize that all my trials have just made me a stronger person.