I completly understand what you are saying, I went through the same thing. It's like when your in high school, you can create all these ideas and plans, and outline for yourself how your life will be. In my former plans, I'm supposed to be opperating my own sales organization. It can really be frustrating when things don't turn out the way you expected. "Expectation postponed is making the heart sick". Keep in mind that "there is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk", so talk to your parents about your goals and outlook, they be pleased that you sought their advice. From my brief time in this life, experience has taught me to "Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness and all these other things will be added to you". And as was highlighted at our last school and service meeting, you don't have a lot of time to "Back pack around Europe". The time left is reduced, therfore be sound in mind and vigilent with a view towards prayers.