Hmm this is what I think, i don't know if it's right. Sometimes a person can be "perfect" for you in the reasoning sense, they might have the right personality, spiritual qualities, and financial security, etc. but... maybe you just don't see that person as more than a friend. And some people still get married to people that they are not truly in love with, but that in every way it just makes sense to marry them. To me that sounds like a huge mistake, cos down the line they might meet someone who they do fall in love with, and end up unhappy, or divorced, or worse.
And then there is the other side of the spectrum, being madly in love with someone who doesn't make sense for you in the reasonable way, someone who seems like the opposite of you, that has no money, and has a lot of things to work on. But you're in love. Ack, this is a mistake too, in my opinion, because those negative qualities are just gonna escalate after marriage and it won't end well.
I think the balance is almost 50/50 ... it has to make sense, and be reasonable, but you also do have to be in love. How's that sound?
yeah i've said this before. there's a brother in my area. a really great brother that so many girls say--i wish i had THAT for him because it's just not there. when it's not there it's not there.
Interesting. I find this really difficult to understand. I guess I just find it extremely easy to love people. On the other hand I find it extremely easy to hate people as well so I try to be very careful to control my emotions.
So true, looking back now I see I got married for all the wrong reasons, and they were selfish ones. Yes, I was madly in love, but I saw a lot of negative things that I thought she'd 'grow out of' or 'change' but that never happened. Those little negative things that might have been cute at first grew into major annoyances. And it got to the point where one little problem was steam rolling into much larger issues. But you live and learn. It's a shame it didn't work out but I just know now, more then ever, what I do want in a wife. Oh, and I'll remember to get to know the mother before I convince myself she's the one.
thinking people will change is the biggest faux paus ever
or that you can change them....total no-no
yeah, you can only change babies. Diapers. And that stinks too.