I totally know how you feel. We have a brother in our hall who sounds exactly like the brother you are talking about. His wife isn't a Witness either, and he's always saying stupid stuff. For example....we were out in service one day and he was in my car group, with some other people I didn't know really well. He chose that particular time to inquire as to why my parents got a divorce, which normally doesn't bother me(because I was 10 when it happened), but the way he asked was really nosy and embarrassing. I just sort of avoided the question, by making a really vague comment.
That's how I'd handle the situation with this brother. If he's always saying rude stuff, that's one thing. But if he just doesn't know how to be tactful, don't give him any more information than he needs. It's hard when that person is your friend, but you have to wonder, if he's so blunt towards you in front of other people, what's going to stop him from talking about it to others? I'd only give him very minimal information about you from now on, so he has nothing to talk about, and if he keeps it up, then I'd maybe explain that his lact of tact is really hurting you. :)
Also, I actually have a friend who is SO lacking in tact. He got divorced about 2 and a half years ago, and since then, he's become what he likes to call "brutally honest." Meaning, he's going to tell you what he thinks, and if you get hurt, sorry...that's just the way he is. And he'll tell you that if you were his true friend, you'd accept him for the way he is, and not complain, even though he hurts your feelings.
MY THOUGHT on that....it's a total cop-out. Regardless of anyone's situation, that's no excuse to hurt people's feelings, especially those who are supposed to be your friend.
yeah i try to be as vague as possible with him - i mean even to the point of a little jabbing sarcasm in the hopes he gets what not to ask and what not to say. But a friend of mine said that maybe he just has that much of an inability to talk to people. He may be that clueless.
Yeah....I know people like that. You just have to keep acting a certain way towards them, and hopefully they get the hint. I'm sorry he made you feel bad, though. Here....I'm sending you a hug via internet. :)
thanks. i love to be hugged.
Good....I love giving hugs...works out well. :)