(continuation of #1). . . finally as young adults and not as the youths they had been up until this point. But would friendship be this easy to find in their future, or would it be just as difficult to find...
they got neked
bow chica chica bwowow..
Then Jack got up from his place and pulled out a 40 of Heineken he had ripped off the shelf at the local 7 Eleven in town. Jack took a sip and handed her the bottle. She took a sip too. This was a cherished thing they had done since freshman year. Jack asked Celia "do you remember the time we hitchhiked all the way to Philly to go see Smashing Pumpkins?"
Celia replied "Yeah and how we spilled beer on that girl in front of us."
then her boyfriend came over and dropkicked you, and we spent the next 48 hours in the hospital. Boy, i sure was upset that we missed their performance of soma. I still regret how i acted, because it wasnt your fault. Oh, those silly immature days. (oh, this is spoken from celia...it changed to a first person account)
"yeah, but i'm still glad that they did that acoustic version of 'bullet with butterfly wings' - that was almost a religious experience", Celia continued.
"do you think that the Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie story is real?" Jack asked. "It's not often that I realize that Calvin, although being only 6 years old, is an allegory for the entire nation of America and it's greedy self-righteous attitude."
"you're deep, jack, real deep. that's why we're here", celia replied
i don't think you two are taking this seriously
"hey celia... remember that time i told you that i always thought we would end up together?" Celia's heart began pounding as she began to purse her supple lips. "Well Celia, I hate for you to be the first to know, but I'm gay. I like men. oh, and my real name is Dan Hill."
"But Dan, we've always known you swam upstream. We've just been humoring you til now."
yea this has def taken a turn for the worse...
The Jack ripped off all his clothes to reveal pink spandex. Dan then jumped into the water and started to swim hardcore sycnronized style toing leg kicks. Celia's face turned white. Then Dan dove down deep into his spandex and pulled out the Michael Jackson Thriller album and started singing "Billie Jean." Celia fainted and it occurred to her that Jack had drank a 20 of Jack Daniels before the 40 he was gulping down now. Jack came running out of the water with a big clump of mud and threw it at Celia hitting her in the face. Then Jack collapsed face first on a pile of jagged rocks.
when he awoke and got up his insanely tight spandex pants ripped and he realized he was too fat for spandex. he tried to jump back in the water and drown but celia stopped him. so instead he decided to start a band and call it Too Fat for Spandex. Later, he was sued for everything he owned by a girl we'll call Pindsay. She claimed she had the name first and this was a ridiculously obvious copyright infringement.
Oh man..this just totally made my day!
Now that Jack..or was it Dan..was poor Ceila had no intention of marrying him! So Jack moved to NYC where he could make quite the living as a street bum.
he bought a monkey with the money he had stolen from a little school girl (okay, she was a rich school girl with brown pig tails) He trained it to dance, and the two of them danced together and made a decent living.
The moral of THIS story? Don't sneak to a water tower with any of us, the Ezabel-libbers... lol
Little did Jack(dan) know, this monkey was really a secret cia operative - on an undercover mission to brainwash the bums of America into becoming an elite team of soldiers, soldiers that the U.S. would use to ambush the oh so peaceful Canada and absorb it into the us, to become our 51st state..The U.S. would thus become legally eligable to attend "51 states +" parties....
But...
Little did the monkey know....
Jack(dan) was really an alien hermaphrodite from the planet Rupualactoid, whos sole purpose in coming to earth was to brainwash all monkeys into becoming an elite team of banana killers - banana's were the Rupaulactoid's #1 ENEMY, for it was a single banana that commited the infamous "Rupaulactoid Nuclear Genocide of 86"...And they would stop at NOTHING to rid the universe of these little yellow menaces...