ohh look at me i never have any debt, i'm perfect, i'm just one of those people who manages money better than the credit card companies themselves!!
i want to be ty pham
i want to have typhams babies
i'm a sad panda
i'm so pq'ish .
I want to marry someone's wife.
i love japs so much i want to bomb something
i am a fairy! i am hello kitty! i am hamtaro!
i wish i could be punk rock and get Too Fat for Spandex to actually be COOL!
i try to be random and funny like tai but i am predictable and stale on eZabel...
the only activities i can think of involve bowling or playing pool...
i like to have very serious conversations, but only on ezabel, i won't talk to you in person, ever, especially not in a bathroom line at a party
pardon me while i tell everyone how good I am at ordering paper supplies, WHY DOES NO ONE EVER TELL ME HOW GOOD I AM !!!
I met you like 80 times before you were married but I totaly don't remember ... now that you're married, you are very important to me and i love you.
(i really don't remember meeting you before you were married)
i spend all my household budget on kitty litter and peanut butter, thereby eliminating my ability to ever leave my house (but at least it doesn't smell like kitty poop)
That was a very immature comment, and since I am very very mature, i also expect others to be mature. I am only immature when i try to imitate ty, alot.
i binge on muffins. and give all my reciepts to chris. so he can manage my binges, monetarily.
(haha)
I wish i could binge on cheese, but it makes me all nasaly...
i wish i could think of ideas before other people, but since i can't, i'll just claim THEY STOLE MY IDEAS! ALL OF THEM! AND I BEILEVE SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY STAPLER!
(huh?)
I want to be a personal trainer, or basically anything that makes it possible to be closer to married women.
(ok the married thing is no longer original)
i continue to move farther south in hopes i can escape CARBS THEY ARE THE ENEMY!
I like men.
that was mean. you are no longer my favorite person.
hey guys lets go swing dancing but not dance. i just want to stand around and scope chicks
I LOVE HORRRRRRRRRRSEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!
i must wear baggy pants because my legs are skinny! pass the Jncos!
oh, if only dan would stop trying to steal my woman!
oh, i wonder how brian does it! i wonder if a girl will EVER hold my hand.
my girlfriend has all my personality
i try to impress people by telling them outrageous made up stories about nipples
me and my sister the other day threw cookies at each other. it was so funny.. then she ate the cookies with milk... i ate my cookies with PROTEIN!
i suck at riding motorcycles, i get tickets, get my bike stolen, and get into accidents - i should just get a giant inflatable bubble suit
tuna has so much protein in it.. all i eat is tuna then i have a shake.. then i do jumping jacks . sometimes i eat cheese
I am yellow.
I hate being so short.
Hey, you like Star Wars? Wanna get married?
I think all guys care about are silly games, so I use them to do my bidding.
hey everyone check out my pictures they are closeups of my face , so i can scare childrens
my mom made me breakfast today so i punched in her the face my mom is cool
i'd prefer womanizing--and holding red cups of beer over womens heads as i grind on them in clubs--to a meaningful relationship.
I only wear khakis.
i own every thing labeled star wars that has ever been produced, and i have them all in airtight ziplock bags and situated in height order!
if you are not a cute girl, please hug me-full contact only.
i'm secretly trying to reclaim my youth by marrying the youngest man i can find!
i wish thai's mom would marry me. or mike's mom. or anyone.
i need a twelve step program to rid me of my scrabble addiction
Dude, how many other HOT COUSINS do you have??
wow, i need a vacation from all this fun i have at work writing code that doesn't work
i love hanging out, but as long as i don't have to drive more than 3 min from home.
i try to play hockey with the boys to show how tough i am, too bad i suck at it
Hey, is that a wedding ring on your hand? Wanna go have tacos?
i wish i was cool enough to think up nicknames for myself, instead i will call myself TDG because i idolize Dan
i grind w/ boys. and. pretend. not. to. like. it.
THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!! BRYAN GRINDED ON MEEEE
girls scare me v. much. I run to other states to avoid seeing them.
i hate all my friends for getting married and forcing me to ATTEND THEIR WEDDINGS AND BACHELOR PARTIES! Can you imagine, friends of mine trying to make me have fun! SOOO ANNOYING!!
anyone know where i can get the orange tux like they wore in dumb & dumber? i need it for my convention so i can fit in w/ the ghetto crew b/c otherwise they might not realize that i'm black too (1/24995th that is).
i will definitely cry if she even tries to bring up my lactose intolerance, sorry i mean MILK ALLERGY (they are very different you know) b/c it's soooo not funny any more.
(it's really not funny anymore)
i have everything in my kitchen hung on the walls to save space, also, this way i have nothing touching the floor