Ok, I moved a lot... I think I talk enough about having moved to Europe and back...but sometimes I have friends who didn't know I lived there, they didn't miss me much.
First - make new friends ASAP. When I moved I was like "yo, I already have friends at home, I don't need any more". And that was stupid. Why did I do that? I don't know.
Second - Don't compare. Everyone will be like "what was it like where you come from?" Change the subject to soemthing you like about your new location, or something interesting you saw or learned in your new place. Don't be like "Well, at home, it's better because..."
Third - People who ask you the standard questions - "What's your name, where are you from?" (see dictionary under-Bethel) - people don't really care where you're from or what your name is. They just want to feel special b/c they talked to the new person, or they want to hear your accent, or whatever else. Tell them you want to talk about something else. Otherwise they'll say "oh you're from X, do you know Joe?" (And provide no last name at all). Like there are only 10 people wherever you came from, so you MUST know their friend. Ridiculous.
Fourth - try and dress or act like the people where you're going to. So you fit in. This is important. Then, you're more accepted, instead of a novelty. My friend Ken used to say "Everyone wants to hang out with the new guy just once". And he was right. Make it so they want to hang out with you multiple times.
Fifth - Get involved with the congregation as much as possible. That helps you get comfortable, helps push you to study and go to the meetings since you won't have your family asking "Are you going to the meeting?" (Everyone who lives at home says "yeah i push myself, i'm an adult", sure it's easy when your mom is making dinner. But when you move out and have to make dinner and clean up and you're tired from work, TRUST ME, you have to push yourself. Studying for the meetings thoroughly helps a lot, because then you want to learn other people's ways of presenting that same information.)
some of your advice is insane, lol. I agree with not comparing and with getting involved in the congregation.
why must you mock my advice. it all makes sense in my world.
Amen, where were you 8 months ago?? :o) You are so right about people not caring about where you're from or who you are. People didn't want a crash course in Alana 101. They're like "So you're here. That's nice. What do you have to offer us?"
i was here. you just didn't ask me the questions.
You're right...but better late than never! I'll put some of your advice to use in the new congregation I'll be joing next week. B.F.F! haha
wow dan, i'm really impressed with your advice...i think you should write a book about it or something...good stuff
I went to my first meeting last night. Everyone was very welcoming, and it helps I know a few of them just from living in the same area all these years. Well, there was this one sister who was doing exactly what you said not to: "Don't be like 'Well, at home, it's better because...'" I could tell she was having a hard time adjusting. I tried to focus on the present and the positive and that made me feel better cuz I struggle with some of the same feelings. If you keep the convo upbuilding you tend to forget the negative things and you walk away feeling good. Thanks!