YOU MORON!! You better not be thinking about calling, or i'm going to play soccer with your noggin. There are only four possible scenarios. Lets break it down in plain ingles..
1)She is dating and doesn't care: No biggie. But her boyfriend will have to suffer thru a week or so of "why he was so bad". She is happy and all you've done is ruined her day. He runs to her side and tells her while he's not as smart, funny, good looking or even as tall as I, he is there now and that is all that matters.
2)She is dating and does care: Way to go homewrecker. You've accomplished what Dan can only dream of. She remembers why you were so wonderful and can't remember why she hated you these last two years. And you can bet that the thing between him and her is soon to be over, and when she learns you were just being nice and goes crawling back to him, he's not a happy camper. THeir life never gets any happier, whether or not they continue.
3)She is not dating and doesn't care: Hmmm, she is pissed off for a week or five. Goes running into the arms of the first man to give her attention for his affection. She has moved on and thought you had, so whatever respect she had for your no good behind is now gone. She thinks you are the same selfish, egotistical spaz as before, but worse now if that is even possible. You however start feeling worse than when you realized you were such a jerk and remember why you stopped calling her in the first place.
4)She is not dating and does care: Bravo casanova, you've broken her tender heart AGAIN! She has been waiting for your call for quite some time now. And she takes your pitiful, self serving apology for an attempt to rekindle a flame that was smoldering at best. When she realizes once again you are not the one, and your pathetic attempt to sleep at night is not an engagement proposal, she gets majorly down, and either takes out everyone in her walmart, or gets on a plane here and shoves a cheese log down your throat until you apologize and then threatens to de-skin you with a cheese grater unless you agree to wed her and live shackled in her basement the rest of your pitiful life.
Well how do you like them apples senor sorry? NO? Don't wanna do it? No guts? Loser! I knew you weren't serious about makin amends...
umm, are there two little patricks inside that brain fighting each other?
No this is fun. Tho, not exactly healthy to call yourself a MORON! I loved reading this...it's worth reading at least once more. O the words unspoken. If you ever do get the chance, say it.
whooohooo i got a mention!
can someone throw him a bone?
j/k BFF!