Hahaha, I'm the same way. Like, of course I want people to be sad that I'm gone, but also to remember some of the stuff I did, whether it was funny, annoying, or whatever. Just remember me.
I don't know maybe I'm cynical but I don't think I even want people to be sad that I'm gone. For me, death is an easy and quick escape from this awful system of things. Sure i'd like to see the great tribulation and survive it and never have to die... but i wouldn't really mind just bein done with it and wakin up
I duno, death just doesn't scare me at all whatsoever. I think this is sorta a good thing cos if i'm ever threatened with death i'll just be like 'yeah, so?'
But I don't know... i'm sure I would be devastated if a member of my family or a friend died. Soooooooo .. I don't know I don't make sense.