I say, if life hands you ham, make ham-ade:

if you're kidnapped by gorillas, you can probably learn from them the techniques involved in feces flinging.

if you're kidnapped by guerillas, let them know you are witnesses, and then tell the society of how the guerillas couldn't harm you once they knew you were part of a non-political entity, and you'll be in the 2006 yearbook.

SERIOUSLY NOW: Check out the experience on pages 21, 22 in the new yearbook!