Me and death... ugh... I can tell you...
My mother died when I was 5 years old. It stays with you all your life... the feeling of loss, the hurt, the pain, even though we have the resurrection hope it's still the most depressing thing. It threw my dad out of whack... shortly after mom died, dad was DF'ed for 30 years. I feel for the friends out by you, Adam...
After my mother died (oh, she was a faithful sister of ours, so I know she'll be resurrected... I have to work hard to get to the new system), we went to live with my dad's mother. I was REALLY close to her... when Grandma died back in '95, that was ANOTHER depressing time. I can sympathize with Mike and how he feels about what happened with his grandmother's accident.
The only thing I can suggest for you Adam, is understand that this is a very difficult time for those families. Be there for them... they may just need to cry and babble... be positive and if you have to say anything, talk about the good qualities the deceased exhibited in life. DON'T say anything like "Well, at least there is the resurrection" and junk... the friends know that...
We had some articles some years ago about this... best to look them up, too...
I like how you brought up the resurrection. Some people just don't understand that the resurrection give us hope, but it doesn't take away the pain. It's a pain that doesn't leave and it won't until the new system. Boy, the new system seems better and better everyday. I can't wait.
Yeah, it's something I've lived with for over 32 years... death also affects you psychologically. With me, I'm so scared to get close to people, especially in a relationship. I'm always afraid, deep down, that they're going to die or leave me if I get too close.
I always rememember that when Jesus heard about the death of Lazarus, he cried. THAT really touches me. Here, the man who had the power to resurrect (which he did) CRIED when he heard of his friend's death. It shows we can still mourn... nothing wrong with it...