ok, THIS is a journal. thanks for sharing this with us. sorry to hear about your friend's death.

i hate to spout that "we're our own worst enemy" cliche stuff, but it's true sometimes. i know people that hate themselves outright and rationalize these perpetual destructive cycles that weigh so heavily on them they can barely breath. but like you said, balance is important and knowing you're worth much to Jehovah is very strengthening. s'good to hear you've got someone in your life that's been a positive infuence. and i'll add that crawling out from underneath a self-criticism complex is a huge thing. some people NEVER get away from that. it appears you've got your head on straight, Liv