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fivezero fivezeroOG 2003

Funny Jack Bauer Facts

-You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

-If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

-The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because Jack Bauer was in LA.

-If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

-Deaf people listen to Jack Bauer.

-Colin Farrell smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. Jack Bauer smokes a pack of terrorists anytime he freaking feels like it.

-Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Kiefer Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

-Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

-Osama Bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

-1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

-Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your elbow in your ear.

-Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

-Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

-If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

-If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

-Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

-When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

-People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

-When you open a can of whoop-@$$, Jack Bauer jumps out.

-When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

-Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

i thought some of these were really funny. it's crazy, the crap we find on the 'net sometimes. *shakes head*

superhero superheroOG 2004

this is SOOOO funny and SOOOO true.

i love when i meet someone else who loves the show, it's like "dude we are totally all about intense living from our couches"

tesoro tesoroOG 2001

HAHAHA! this was great! i love jack. the first one was my favorite: You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. so funny. hahha

tesoro tesoroOG 2001

i was trying to read these outloud to austin, and barely could say some of them cuz i was laughing too hard. haha

flomojopoanode flomojopoanodeFounder

I love 24, but I didn't love the list. *shrug*

I laughed a bit at a few.

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