I get a talk slip about 4 weeks ago, with my name on the householder line and another sister's name in the main line, but two arrows indicating switching them. No big deal; talks aren't hard. I didn't ask the sister why she wanted to switch, I just asked her for her email address and said I'd send her the talk a few days before. She started chatting about how she and her family were getting back from a vacation right before the talk, and she didn't think there was any way she'd be prepared. Again, no biggie.
She and her family were at the meeting on Sunday. She said they got back Saturday. 4 days before the talk needed to be given. More than that, she got the slip 4 weeks ago, so there was more than enough time to do it before she even left.
I mean, I'm all about stepping up to do something for Jehovah, but this is like the 5th substitute part I've done since the beginning of the summer - I don't understand why other people can't step up to the bat. Really, giving talks is the same concept as service, and you force yourself to be good at one, so why can't you force yourself to be good at the other?
does she have kids?
Yes, but she doesn't work. And I'm sick of the kids excuse anyway - let's take mikeyjoe's mom as an example - two kids, never stopped pioneering. Kids are no excuse.
you know, i don't have kids so sometimes i don't think i can talk, but i agree with you. my sister in law has 2 kids and she is always substituting for people w/o kids. see, kids aren't an excuse.
um sometimes they are. timeing is everything. my mom had 5 BRATTY girls, pioneered, my daddy did the same, worked FULL TIME plus overtime and still pioneered....but that was a different time than now. esp since the time is speeding up as we're closer to the end.
and if i get tired out, me being single...i can imagine someone with kids...whining all the time, having to scold them to settle down, get ready, eat, etc. PLUS being around 13 nieces and nephews....and seeing my sisters...it takes a lot of time and energy. so yeah it can be used as an excuse...not an abused excuse but still and excuse.
agreed. everyone's situation is different.
Hahaha - I think it's really abused in my hall. I remember my stepmother being tired out when she'd take my little brothers to the hall alone when they were little, but I mean, what's the alternative? Are you going to not involve your kids in service? Sell them to the circus? It's one thing to tell your friends you're a little worn out, it's another to say you can't do something in the hall because of your kids, ya know?
we as childless people DO NOT know the feeling, we can only understand and see it from the others point. thats all i can say. all i know is ones w/families in the cong def do their best to attend, kids and all...and the important thing, they're there. doesnt matter what they do, how many talks they give, how many hours in field service, they're doing all that they can, tired & all.
think about it, i know some sisters & brothers that work FULL time AND pioneer, am i going to look at you and say "why dont you pioneer....so and so's doing it and with greater responsibilities than you" that would not be loving nor compassionate of me to say as i dont know your situation. just like the illustration of the talents...each was provided with what they were able to use.
I understand that, and I agree, everyone has different limitations. I just don't understand how someone can say, with a clear conscience, that they can't do something in the hall because of their kids. Especially because all but like 2 of the families in my hall said they were desperately trying to have kids before they actually got pregnant. My point is, you've got the kids, make it work. I understand parents wanting to time out of service early, or showing up to the meeting late occasionally, but if you're saying you can't write a 5 minute talk because you're kids are too much, then you've got a serious problem. And I'm sick of these things being passed off to me because I don't have kids. I feel like I want to throw an "I don't have a baby shower".
are there no other sisters in your hall that can substitute?
I've heard maybe 2 other sisters give sub talks.
hahaha i know hun! you're being used greatly in the congregation...its a privilege that you're able to do it...take it as so. the day is coming that we wont have that freedom to do all we can in the ministry...so enjoy what you have.
OH and i feel like carrie "why must i be buying all the presents for baby showers, wedding showers anniversaries....when is someone going to spend money on me for being single" LOL
Totally! I know we're fortunate to be used so much, but I'm just sick of the way our hall is so kid-centric. People ask me when we're having kids now and I just glare in disgust.
BTW - If you registered at Manolo Blahnik, I'd totally buy you a pair of shoes! :)
HAHAHAHA how RAD would that be to have a party for being single..."yes i'm registered at manolo blhanik, gucci, jimmy choo"
Being a single father of two brats..hehe..I would say not doing a talk because of your kids is not a good excuse. I've left my kids sitting by themselves in order to give a talk. Thankfully I trained them well enough to sit still. Well they know they'd get beat otherwise. LOL! So if there are 2 parents and that excuse is used, those parents need to re-evaluate their thinking.
actually yeah, your absolutely right. sometimes it can be an excuse, just don't abuse it. i really need to start explaining myself more. sorry my laziness to type out something makes me sound weird.
Yeah sorry guys, i find myself doing that more and more. I really need to stop being lazy and type everything. I skip things thinking, keep it short no one wants to read a book, so i leave out things and then when i re-read them i leave out the important things and i end up sounding like a jerk. so sorry about that.
yarr
And just because one person can juggle kids, pioneering, and being the fishing champion of the world..
doesn't mean everyone else can too..
it's their own mental capacity for what they can and can't handle -
even to the point that they may be mentally inhibiting themselves.
Lots of things can go on in peoples lives that can hinder.
I remember for 5 weeks straight.. when I was the school assistant.. I had to either give a #2 or #4 because of last minute cancellations. That was rough... People were sick and tired of seeing me.
oh and im' not attacking you mandie or anyone for that matter. I just hit replied to the bottom message.
however i'm going to attack you now..
HIYA!
PUNCH!
ROAR!!! I'M SO MAD!! no not really, didn't take any offense. Ha. But thanks.
i will bite you..
i will bite you right in the calf muscle.
i will... i seriously will.
BRING IT!! ( i wanted to say a line from Joe Dirt, but thought it might be inappropriate for some..haha)
What.. is this queer.. huh
is this queer..
check one two..
BRING IT...
HOMe is where you make it...
you like to see homos naked?
dude, that's rough! I give you a lot of credit! And I highly doubt anyone got sick of seeing you up there, because I'd imagine that you do an amazing job on your talks. You seem very capable to me.
To the macking forum please. :P
dang it, i knew someone would say that.
ok someone please explain this to me. i'm not ezabel literate or something. so you can reply to musing, but not to much because if you reply to much you need to make it a forum. well how many replies do you need to make it a forum and oh my goodness i've just gone cross eyed.
no i sucked.
true story...
after a last last minute..
like i really wasn't that prepared to subsitute because i had called the brother an hour before the meeting..
and he said " I"LL BE THERE YAYYYAYA LETS ROCK WOO HOO"
i was all " ok buddy see you there and stay off the drugs"
anyway.. he didn't SHOW!
so i through together a lame beginning.. read bible reading.. and then even gave a lamer ending...
and the school overseer gets up and says something to the fact of " It's great to see people step up and fill in for those who can't make it.. but sometimes.. if you really feel that you weren't that prepared.. YOU CAN SAY NO and not give the talk... we can always figure something else out. "
Not quoted ver batim because it was awhile ago. hahaha but i was all " OH SNAP ... I'm saying NO next time "
OMG hahaha he really said that? lol
I love Mike and Funky's experience of funky sitting in the audience while Mike was on stage giving a talk, and Funky coughed every minute so mike could time himself. And the brothers totally knew. Priceless!
But i'll never forget that.
Because it IS ok to say NO sometimes... sometimes you can't.. thats that.
Just say NO to..
drugs..
talks..
ugly chicks..
dogs in sweaters... ( i mean seriously...they have HAIR all over their body!! thats why dogs can't SEW.. because they weren't meant to sew their own sweaters.. so dont' put a dog in a sweater... it's not that HARD to NOT do. sheesh)
beets... ( who likes beets? if you say yes.. you are one weird person. like really weird. because beets are so bitter... Oompa Loompas with all their magical orangeness could not make a SWEET BEET ... thats how the factory shut down.. they tried to make a Sweet Beet.. and they couldn't.. so wonka killed all the oompa loompas. True story)
that was rude of him to say that on stage. he should have told you in private.
and dogs in sweaters, its just so wrong, sooo completely wrong!!!
lolpwnt
it may have been something else, but she didn't want to talk about it. things come up in people's lives that can stress them out enough that they can't even imagine working on a talk.
since this is the 5th sub talk you've given, it may seem like a trend. but, you don't know everyone's circumstances.
think about it this way: it's a great privilege to be used in this way! you're really helping out your sisters by being willing to take on the extra tasks.
if it is becoming a burden on you, though, then you should talk to the school overseer. just because you're assigned as a householder on a talk doesn't mean you should have to fill in for the other person if they can't do it. you have your normal assignments to worry about!
True, and I am glad I can serve Jehovah so much from the stage. I guess I just feel like a lot of my congregation has been shirking their responsibilities lately because they know they have Donovan and I to fall back on - Don gets just as many substitute parts. And I think it's unfair that just because we're one of the few single couples, people always look to us. Like our lives can't possibly be that busy because we don't have kids. People have actually said that to me. Like, "Oh, you must have plenty of time to do your studying, you don't have kids!"
(But as far as this instance goes, the sister said to me she didn't want to give the talk because she was just getting back from vacay. I guess it's possible she wasn't telling the whole truth, but I didn't ask; she just offered the info.)
I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel the same way being single. It's especially bad when friends say things to the effect of "You're single so you should be picking up the married brothers' slack, so that they can take care of their wives." (And if you think I'm exaggerating, a good (married) friend of mine said almost exactly that to me. I so wanted to deck him when he said that.) All you can do is look at it as an opportunity to do more in JEhovah's service. And, if it is overwhelming you, just let the brothers know that you need a break.
I have the #3 talk tonight, it took me like 20 minutes to write...(not to polish, just to write) it was so easy, but my last talk took me like 2 hours to write.
wow, you're amazing. 20 minutes is insane. even 2 hours is VERY FAST
its different i think for sister talks because its in conversation form it flows so much faster and makes it so easy to make the points and use up all the time.
i dunno.. it takes mikayla a lot longer than 2 hours to figure out her talks. seems like the hardest part is trying to come up with a situation where you would realistically discuss your theme.
That's what's fun about the new book and themes to pick from. You can come up with something really creative using those themes. I've found that a little easier, actually. But I've always liked writing in general, so maybe that's part of it.
Remember malibu's very creative theme where she was writing a letter to an interested person. Only she and Inger could've pulled that off so well. Props to Malibu!
I don't know if I should chime in here or not... I have a different perspective.
For a few years I scheduled the school. I am sure it has taken years off of my life, every week to call and remind them of the talk, theme & what they are working on. Invariably they took this opportunity to tell me that {insert excuse here} they won't be able to do it. Then the process to find a replacement.... horrible..
So.. D, if you are one that can be called upon, short notice and step up, you have no clue know how valuable you are! I kept a few people like yourselves on speeddial, I tried to be beneficent, trying a few others that 'might' do it, and only after a few tries, rotating thru the standby's.
I know, I know, I'm glad I can help out as much as I do. It would just be nice to feel like some of my brothers and sisters step up as much as I do, you know? It's like I'm in a huge family, and although everyone eats dinner together, I'm always doing the dishes. It has to be done, but it'd be nice for someone else to offer every now and then.
you know, if you keep offering, you'll keep being used. I say stop going to meetings. That way you can't be asked. JK JK. THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION.
The real answer: Pray about it, and talk to one/some of the elders. Maybe it's local needs worthy.
Hmm, I didn't think they'd make a local needs about it. I hate complaining, because every time I speak to any one of the elders, they say something like "You and Donovan help the congregation so much", so I can't be like "Yeah, we don't want to help so much so raspberries to you." And in about a year, we plan to move to a different town and different congregation anyway, so this will all be moot. Unless they ask us to stay... oh man, I hope they wouldn't ask us to stay...
That's very true. Garrett does the school and I know how it goes when he tries to find a subsitute. But he used to ask me every single time, and I'm like G, I can't subsitute EVERY WEEK. Then he found other sisters that do it too. So actually, it has gotten alot better. But the excuses that he gets, wow. One time a sister told him she couldn't find anything in the material so she didn't do it. No advance warning. Just showed up at the meeting and was like yeah i'm not giving it.
Ok, i've never had it that bad! LOL
I't can get very stressful, it is such a relief to hear the words 'yeah, I'll do it', and you actually know they will! It is even worse when they cancel night before, or even day of.
I have a question for you...Garrett always talks about how he will never tell someone from the platform to "work on" something. He said he doesn't have the heart to do it. Afterwards when he counsels the person he will give them advice and tell them to try to work on something, but on the platform he said the person would do the worst job ever, and he would never tell them they need to work on that. Are you like that too?
I have never been school overseer... just the school scheduler.
IIRC when we started with the BE book, the instructions changed to, commend, commend, commend. If anything would need 'counsel' it would be done privately after the meeting.
I have know of a few people that ANY council would be a crushing blow,(flaxen wick, reed etc.) so small suggestions etc. is all they are ready for.
Everyone is different. So, knowing the student is probably more important than getting everyone to the same level. Think about it a school with no finish. Plenty of time for some to make minute advances.
Don't know if that helps.
wow... i never want to have to do that. i would just try to make people feel really guilty:
"wow... that stinks. i guess we won't be having any talks this week. Won't the congregation be disapointed"
seriously tho... people that do that often should be told that it's a priveledge to give talks
this reminds me of a story my mom told me...
once she was givng a talk while i was a toddler, so she asked a sister in the hall to watch me while she gave the part. well, this sister turned out to be kind of a space cadet, and i wandered away from her, onto the stage, and into my mommies lap, haha. she put me on her lap, and finished the talk.
anyway, chloe, you may feel like you are being abused (and no doubt you are), but one day someone will notice all the hard work you're doing, and you be rewarded for it (maybe with a millon dollars or something; or a pat on the back).
:) :) :)
Being rewarded...
have you heard this illustration...
Parent & Child in a store, shopkeeper says to the child to take a handful of the candies in the jar, child seems apprehensive and doesn't comply, storekeeper repeats until finally he takes a handful and hands it to the child. After leaving the store parent inquires as to why the child didn't take for themselves.... child responds 'did you see the size of his hands'... I would not have gotten nearly as much if I had taken for myself.
Be patient & we'll be rewarded too!
This sister thanked me profusely last night for taking the talk for her. She said a few times how hard it would've been to come back from vacation and give a talk right away. I think my face turned red because she had four days to write it. But I was controlled.
One of the brothers told me his wife, who's newly associated, said she related to the talk, which was about imperfect humans serving Jehovah. She said she feels unworthy sometimes too. So it's obvious there was some serious holy spirit working there; I hope the talk struck a chord with her and makes her think. :)