I'm not married just yet but, I'd like to add my two cents.
I always heard the biggest problems are with finance and intimacy issues.
Personally, I happen to have excellent forethought and reasonable judgement so I manage my finances very well.
With respects to the other, deal with it.
Otherwise I figured that as long as your relationship w/ Jehovah + spiritual things come first with both partners.... you respect you mate, they're your best friend above all, you trust them, and obviously love them although difficulties may arise you'll get through them.
I don't really understand this disturbing trend unless it's just that to start off neither people are mature enough mentally for the relationship and still babes spiritually as well =/
It seems to me like such a privilege to serve Jehovah in your youth and reach your goals together =)
+ your two crazy kids plenty of good times to be had and memories to make but, it does take effort.
There's definitely some married couples that aren't spiritually mature enough. It sucks that some couples don't realize that even though they're avoiding the snares of immorality by getting married, they're definitely being caught in another one of satan's traps; that is getting married when not prepared.
I think the maturity issue is the major one that gets most of the young couples in the truth. Too often both of them are still living at home when they get married and the shock of suddenly having to take care of themselves AND take care of another person's emotional and physical needs just overwhelms them. This is why I think it is so important to live on your own before you even think about getting married. You change dramatically just in the first few months of being out of your parents' house. Even if your parents' have made you done chores and take care of things around the house, there is nothing quite like being completely responsible for your own survival and well-being.
This is so true I've had this conversation with a few mature married sisters.
Aside from even considering marriage at this point I just think it's a good idea for one to get out on their own to develop a greater sense of self sufficiency/ responsibility and get to know themself a little better.
My background has lent to a little more self sufficiency in itself because I've never really been coddled. Currently I spend about 85% of my time alone just getting things done. I'm also in a foreign language congregation alone so I'm already responsible for myself in everyway.
Being in a different congregation from your parents helps too. I know I've changed somewhat since leaving my parents' congregation, though it wasn't nearly as drastic a change as when I moved out.
lauren and i invested a lot of time in talking about finances, planning our finances, spreadsheeting our finances, and then setting up the system.
Now, we have a conversation about money that lasts about 2 minutes per month. And the conversation goes like this - "wow we saved the money we wanted to this month- what should we do with it?"
It's not like we're rich, we just planned correctly. We have (no joke) 3 checking accounts, and 4 savings accounts. My friends thought I was crazy when I told them that - but it makes sense. We both contribute money to our joint checking account - and there is always enough in there to pay all bills. She gets the rest of her paycheck in her personal account (she can buy whatever she wants - out to eat, movies, shoes, cards, gas, etc) and I get the rest of my paycheck in my personal account (which i use to pay off my credit card ... argh .. but i use that for going out, gas, etc).
For the multiple savings accounts - Saving for a house is different from saving for a vacation - do you want to use your house savings on your vacation? of course not. so plan it out.
And then when you're ready you buy the house from me for an awesome deal :)
Good job on the financial control. That's commendable.
ahem... i bought them a book on financial planning for couples when they got engaged (its called "Smart Couples Finish Rich" and there is a workbook for anyone whos interested and theres also "Smart Women Finish Rich" and Smart Men Finish Rich" and you can buy it from Staples