OMG - this client is dumb as toast. I'm putting together a list of her marital assets and debts to settle her case, and she told me she has a home equity loan for about $50,000 for a house purchased like 5 years ago, which she just put on the market for $449,000. So I asked her if there is another mortgage or home loan related to that property (there must be!). She writes me an email back: "No. That is it other than the primary mortgage." The primary mortgage is what I want information about!!!

Me: Do you have any hands other than your left one?
Client: No. I only have the left one and the right one.