Today is the greatest day of your life!
by Haven't started a new one in awhile and the old musings was over 1000 musings... So here we go again.
I have decided to PorkChop my favorite Jokes.
You'll see on below!
AI Summary
1,305 Comments
Page 1 of 6I have a wedding to attend at 5:30 and the sofa delivery guys gave me a window that extends until 6:00. I begged for them to bump me up in the delivery schedule and they wouldn't. I bet they will be late. I WANT MY SOFA AND CHAIR BUT I NEED TO LEAVE! AGHHHH.
What should I bring back to eat tonight?
Hello earth to Giac! Check your "inbox"
Who saw House this week? So great.
King of Queens is so funny
hello darlings.
Did you get my email? Check spam folder if you haven't seen it.
yes indeed. mailed you back. thank you!
is it wrong to be laughing at this?
that's awful haha
i know it is, but i can't stop laughing...i'm evil.
This client just totally reamed me out over the phone about his bill. Flippin jerk. His divorce was finalized in like 5 months - that's incredibly quick and he still complains.
well if he's divorced he has no one to argue with now so you were it today...
im SOOO stoked!!! we just got tickets to see bad religion!! YIIIPPPEEEE
*jealous* They're so great live!
they def are!! i've been hitting up their concerts since back in the day...i remember when they'd play the smaller venues here and in LA. *sigh* good times
The first time I saw them was at this tiny venue in Philly when I was like, 17. I remember they started playing at like 10pm, and didn't get off the stage until after 2am.
NICE! i saw them at this local forum down the street from our school, it was a free concert (1986)they played with TSOL...LOL i was 13 and it was SO funny cause i was on restriction and my friends and my sisters BEGGED my parents to let me go. LOL
Haha - Yeah, I think I pulled the trick of "sleeping at a friend's house" that night; I don't think I told my parents I was even going to a show. Ahh, to be young again.
No way! They are, undoubtedly, my favorite band. When no other music sounds good, I always put on Bad Religion and I'm happy. I got to see them the last two winters in a row but they didn't play anywhere near here this winter and I've been so bummed!
I didn't realize they're playing individual shows this spring? I'm going to Warped Tour in order to get my fill.
Do you totally love The Empire Strikes First? Such an amazing album!
where and when? I wanna go.
april 6th @ the santa monic civic auditorium....come with us!!!!
Todd, let's go!
soooo my car got sick and is @ our mechanics....i couldnt be more stoked tho. they're expecting it to be in the 90's today. SOOO while i wait for my car i can hang out by the pool and get some(much needed)sun!!!
no fair :(
Song of the Moment
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Lay Me Low
"They're gonna lay me low (Lay me low)
They're gonna sink me in the snow
They're gonna throw back their heads and crow
When I go
They'll bang a big old gong (Lay me low)
The motorcade will be ten miles long
The world will join together for a farewell song
When they put me down below"
I'm new to Palm. How do put a .prc program on treo 650p? Don't have the manual on me.
You have the palm software installed on your PC, right?
Double click the prc.
Tell it you want to install it.
Sync.
Uhm, I guess not, where do I get that software? (I got it used.)
If you have a laptop with IR you can IR it to yourself. I've done that a few times.
The laptop's in a coma.
What do you sync your palm to?
That's the thing. I haven't done it. Just got it not too long ago. Don't even know how to get a program on the thing. Just went to Palm website and got the Palm desktop / Hot Sync Manager. So I'll install it, but beyond that, what do I do?
After you install the hot sync manager, it should create a folder somewhere on your comp with all your program files (the programs currently on the pda will transfer to that folder). I can't remember what the file extension is for palm programs, but google that, find the other programs, then try saving your new program in that folder. If it's a palm program it should already have the correct extension. Then sync again and see if it appears in your program list.
At least, I've been able to install programs to my old PalmII, III and my clie in that hack fashion. I'm not sure if treos are different.
WoW! That was coo! Thanks iwz and web. I wanna put loads more programs on now.
It worked?!
Yeh, well I didn't have to bother with all of that completely. I already had the prc program on saved on my desktop that I wanted on the Palm. After d'ling the PalmDesktop/HotSync Mgr from their website and installing it, the prc file on my computer's desktop automatically became associated, and I connected the Palm to the computer, double click the icon for the program on the desktop, did HotSync a second time... now I'm getting confused describing steps that worked and I'm rambling... I'm not feeling well. But, anyway, I'm in business, so thanks for the help that lead me there. And within this time got calls for 2 interviews next week.
Awesome!
Yeh, could have one of them tomorrow, but my cold is so bad, had to ask for postponement. Hopefully, I don't loose the chance at it now.
Oh, and I'm using a desktop computer to answer your question.
since we're talking about palms, who can help me get the watchtower library on mine.
You can do that? Let me know when you do it, how you did it.
someone on here has done it, i remember reading a post about it.
yeah i did it, it's sooo nice to have
we'll have to talk on the phone or something, b/c some people get offended by this sort of thing
Uh, who would be offended about loading the WT Library on a Palm?!?
I hate it when I'm listening to some music, and I keep feeling like I should listen to some music.
Like, the music I'm listening to just doesn't do anything for me. :(
You know what I hate....lima beans....
Can you bounce wit me, bounce wit me, wit me wit me
Can you bounce wit me, bounce wit me, ge-gi-gi-gi-gi-gi
Can you bounce wit me, bounce wit me, ye-ye-yeah
Gay....
OOOOOO-K ghetto supastar...
Well, he does have a ghetto booty...
i'm rocking the suburbs
just like quite riot did
so sam and hayley say that you guys are going to come out and visit and the six of us are going to have fun...DO IT.
okay, it's a deal.
sam and hayley dating? or still just friends
I don't know anything, I'm from Ohio. Jeff you answer the man. ahaha. YOU + LIAM HERE STAT. And we have fun with Crown Royal and cuddling with my kitten.
AND SHE WILL LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I refuse to kitten cuddle!
OH YOU WILL, AND YOU BOTH WILL LIKE IT!!!!!
Cats make me itchy.
IAN + MIKAYLA HERE STAT too. Do it.
Both?!?
both you and liam? yes. ha.
actually, genius, i was replying to the iwz
i know i was joking around. that's how i roll.
UGH have you guys seen the previews for that new movie with the ventriloquist that his puppet or whatever you call those goes crazy. OMG i cant even watch the previews. another thing added to my list of scary junk that i hate...puppets. well the ventriloquist puppets. EWWWWW
My sister hates that commercial to! Right after she first saw it she started talking about how she hates the dolls that have the eyes that open & close, says they freak her out. I used to have a life sized one when I was smaller, at night I would cover her face w/ a blanket LOL!!!
i dont like those marionette ones they have in mexico either....la cuerpito y cara se me siente muy mal! LOL when we were in ensenada we were shopping and some of my friends each had one and put them around the corner when i came walking by and it scared me SO bad.
i'll be honest-- when i was in cozumel with a friend, we bought one of those mexican marionettes and we put on shows for the bikini girls. it was hilarious.
and did you say "cuerpito?" HAHA!
LOL nice way to get the chicks bri! lol
yeah! or lack there of. they're just all hunched over and it makes them scarier!
Hahaha sus cuerpitos like somebody stamped the daylights out of them lol!
Me imagino asi 
OOoooooooOOooooooOOOO GINA AYUDANOS
They are a little different but, they're also considered an art form, I guess. Each maker has their unique style... may the creepiest man win =/
its a man? OMG i thought it was lady
I remember when he weighed over a ton! How does this happen? Why why why does anyone need to be lifted by a forklift!?
OMG i was trying to remember the 800 # for UPS and thought it was 800-dial-UPS. so i dial that and this womans voice comes on and she's all "breathy" and she's all "if you'd like to chat with...." im all OMG and hung up and couldnt stop laughing. it was the funniest thing!!
Haha
don't feel bad this happen to me last summer I was dialing my credit union and I mixed up some digits. Anyway I was sooo sure that I had it right that after I hung up I redialed the same # thinking "OMG their #'s been hijacked!" I know I'm challenged but, it was pretty funny after the fact
=D
HAHAHA... I used to work for a company that sold UPS systems (Uninterruptible Power Supply) and when I started working there they told me that the 800 number was 1-800-GET-UPSS and when I called it, it sent me to a similar recording to the one you got!!!haha
So funny....
isnt that funny? i wonder why? like one time, here at work, i was looking up the san diego convention center online and you'd think the norm website would be www.sandiegoconventioncenter.com WRONG i got some porn site. i started busting up and closed out of it as fast as i could. LOL
LOL... nothing beats when I was in college, my professor in my Intro to Computers course was showing us the difference between the .com/.org/.gov sites and when she put in www. whitehouse .com she forgot to change it to .gov and while she was talking the site was coming up behind her on the projection screen and it was a porn site, the whole class started laughing... oh those were the days.... hahaha
oh thanks for this.
that site was huge when it first came out cause colleges and corporations didnt know to block it due to the name. Chubb sent out an email about it when i was there... classic.
Yeah, I wondered how that happend the colleges were really good about blocking those kinds of sites, but I guess the name did make it kind of difficult... and it looks like someone edited my original comment... hmmmm
Captain America died
I hate it when people are looking for something for you and keep you on speakerphone rather than hold. I don't want to hear papers shuffling.
or you hear them breathing while the phone is still up to their mouths and they want you to hold on while they look for what they need. i hate that.
... or if they're eating something that sounds like cereal and you can hear the mushing and sloshing... that's nasty.
OMG YES!!!! or their chewing gum...OMG
i put up a craigslist ad about wanting to hire an elvis impersonator
haha
i really want to photograph elvis
or just hire him for a party even if it's just like a dinner party of 6 people
elvis being there will make it amazing!
i'm actually working on getting his movements so i can be a successful EI
i know a really, REALLY good one
he lives near my dad, and is very famous
are you for realzies? I really need one. I alraedy got one possible. Haha. He's from NY. I love him.
this one lives in mahwah. he's good people - i sold him a nextel phone one time, and he just invited me to his famous christmas party. he usually has the 4 tops perform. crazines.
2.5 hours to get to work!! NJ sucks!!
is it cause of the snow?
It's because people here drive crazy and turn their cars into accordians...
this reminds me...
i was at a party and the weather was really rough outside. some young girl was saying that her car was in the shop and she was using her dads truck. she said she was excited to drive home because she'd be able to drive faster than everyone and pass slow-moving cars! i didn't say anything at first, but it was one of those things where i'd feel bad if i didn't say something and something DID happen. selfish, i know, lol. so, i just went over and quietly mentioned that i heard what she said and that just because you're driving a 4x4 truck doesn't mean you can drive like a nut when it's rough out. i think she understood.
when it's nasty out i see MORE suvs and trucks wiped out than cars! maybe those truck commercials are TOO effective.
Yeah, you might get more traction, but the weight of the vehicle makes it a flipping hazard.
JUST TXT'D EVERYONE IN MY PHONE...Hope you all get to work safely. Down here there's not too much snow but, for some reason I passed several cars that had flipped over =( Why would anyone be speeding when there's ice or snow present???? One car actual was speeding up the ramp towards 10W & went UP INTO the bushes...the other was on 287 flipped off the road DOWN into the woods. BE CAREFUL & DON'T RUSH!
I was driving in a small town once, and there was a BMW honking behind me to go faster at every stop sign. I pulled over to let him pass me and thought nothing more of it. About 10 minutes later, I was driving down 287, then got onto 78 (where they meet around Bridgewater). There was crazy traffic. As I waited, cops buzzed by on the grassy median. I inched by the accident, finally, and it was the same black BMW (I remembered the license plate) that was tailgating me around town. The car was upside down and the top was totally crushed in. I'll never understand why people need to drive fast to the point of being dangerous like that.
I love that story! Is it bad, that when I see idiots fly by me, i hope the wreck or get a ticket, the best is when you actually see them get pulled over (I've seen it)
The guy probably got hurt badly, man...
i hate that. like here we have to worry about rain. there's always a bazillion accidents cause peeps think they can drive a million mph in the rain. one time there was this motorcyclist that was driving like a maniac and my mom and i were like "that idiot is going to get in an accident OR cause one!!" sure enough, down t he stretch there was a bad accident and he was involved. people are just plain idiots (that do that).
Just realized technically this isn't soo because not EVERYONE in my phone is from Jersey but...basically who I knew might be affected.
Just got the sweetest TXT back from a friend, I don't think about it like it's a big thing I just automatically worry....nice that it's appreciated =)
This is stuck in my head so weird lol!
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy your loving is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy it's more than I dare to think about
What does everyone think of Chevy Equinox's?
yo muffy why are you online instead of working?
you should probably ask all of us that.
this guy has anger management issues: http://fametastic.co.uk/archive/20070218/4754/jared-leto-i-want-to-take-a-baseball-bat-to-critics/
i babysit for this little girl who is like jekyl and hyde. bedtime is always exciting. it begins with her kicking me in the face and punching me and telling me she doesn't want me to sleep over. after half an hour to an hour of that abuse, i get hugs, kisses, and back rubs while she tells me that i'm her best friend and she loves me very much. then, she sleeps the whole night hugging my neck and rubbing my back and muttering i love you forreste in her sleep.
There was a little girl in my last hall who was autistic and acted the same way. I read the other day that they isolated the gene (or DNA molecule) that they think causes autism. Pretty interesting. This little girl's mother said she thought her daughter hit, kicked and punched as a "sensory expression"; she couldn't understand that I was really there unless she felt me. I dunno, it might be true because when I kept my hand on the little girl, she would stay calm.
this one's definitely not autistic, but she has been through a series of very bad things-her father is a pedophile so she lives with her aunt now. her aunt is in our cong. she is going blind so it's getting very difficult for her to take care of the kids. the kids lash out more dramatically than most children i've watched, but i think it's understandable considering everything they've been through.
Oh wow, yeah totally. That's so terrible! Those poor kids. I'm sure the kids are glad you're around for them, then. :)
sure. she's just too young to express herself yet.
Sort of sounds like Emily before I put her on medication. Except she wouldn't beat me up, she'd beat up other adults. Obviously had to do with feelings of abandonment from her mother combined with ADHD. Poor kids.
she'll make a fine wife one day, lol. she's just ahead of the game.
So someone I was talking to recently about having their own place + the finishing touches, relays the following story to me
I still haven't bought potholders... in the meantime the other day I needed to remove something from the oven so I used two napkins. As I was taking the pan out both of my napkins went up in flames. It all happened so fast Liv
lol that's genius!
hahahahaha....without a doubt this person is the dumbest human being in the world....hahahahaha
Without a doubt...that would be a NEGATIVE on the dumbest human being assessment
=|
I don't know... Not many things can top that move.
Nonsense...smart people do dumb stuff all the time.
In Switzerland, I needed to clean the floor of my apartment. The school was supposed to supply us with cleaning supplies but all they gave me was this mop from 1902. I didn't have any multi-purpose cleaner and I wasn't going to go buy a whole bottle (it was expensive) because I was only going to be there for a short amount of time. So what did I do? I used dishwash soap to clean the floor. It didn't work too well because it just ended up being soapy..
*looks around at everyone else*
*steps forward*
i... have news for you...
Get out of here before I bite you! I would have done the same it's called improvising.
Yessss?
oh mercy! i did it! i'm kinda computer inept, but i successfully added a few firewire plugs to my comp, and plugged in some self-installing peripherals, lol! it's like a whole new world. i got an external harddrive and dvd-rw. and a nice editing prog from sony, called Vegas: Movie Studio + DVD. i'm dying to shoot some movies, edit them, score 'em, and make some dvds.
NERD LEVEL ++
i know, man. i am in the Hyper Nerd XTC Zone. i love this crap.
Wow! Super nerd, sumo wrestler... you are becoming a jack of all trades.
i eat 5 lean steaks while watching old movies, so i can become the first sumo wrestling film director.
eat 5 steaks before you eat 5 steaks, and then eat 5 more.
Better yet, eat an old 96er, grizzle and all...
isn't it gristle?
HAHA! You're right. Brotherman... you're a mess.
What!! You didn't watch the Great Outdoors? It was mostly meat.
Yeahhh, I knew where you were coming from. You might have been thinking about the bear that gets shot in the butt with the lamp.
I heard they casted you to wear the bear suit.
No, but I was the bears stunt butt!
Hmmm...I don't know...Looked more like a Schiano butt to me. Haha...
No, no. He was John Candy's stand in.
Geez...What was I thinking!
aren't steaks sublime?
i am in love with target and thier proenza schouler collection. i just scored the most beautiful deep purple summer dress......but then when i walked out of the store it was snowing. :( oh well but i just want to wear it even though its far too cold!!
it's crazy snowing here!
dude i know i went into the store and it was nice out, i was gonna leave my jacket in the car and i come out to like a blizzard.
this website is so different when you can't see the turtle
One of our clients left a message stating her computer stopped working this weekend, so she couldn't get any emails we sent. Then she said her friend would let her use her email and computer, so she can check it. Am I taking crazy pills, or does it not matter where you check a web-based email account? My father-in-law constantly says that too - his email isn't working, but he can get online - hello!?
Ok this is great - the client left me another voice mail, responding to mine that said she should be able to check her email anywhere, and gave me her personal address. Then she said, 'I'm not sure if I remember the password, but you can send it and I might get it.' Hooooohoooo, these are some dull crackers.
There are things that used to make me laugh
But now they're deeply buried in the past
I left them there so far away
Replaced my humor with my pain
I'll be happy on the day it dies
What's up with you? All you post are song lyrics now.
Mad props on the 3EB lyrics
danke
It's a new form of communication. We must respond in kind!
Oh....Ok...
/faqs#55
OMG...I got a good chuckle out of that.
Finola Hughs
So was this like a brain fart or was there some coherent thought intended to accompany this?
she creeps me out
I'm sure you would creep her out in your sumo diaper...;oP
Just for mike
Macbook running Win XP and Fedora... yeah. woot woot
parallels is my new best friend. Im glad i have google i had NO idea how to configure anything from without the gui, i was at the command line scratching my head. Last time i had to use any of those commands was back in Chubb.
web-toed...the hottest guy just started...and guess what his name is....BLAKE! LOL he looks like this actor that was on my friends show, im trying to find a pic of the actor so you could get an idea what a hottie this guy is...lol
Hahaha! Awesome! :)
lets see if this works
http://www.starpulse.com/Actors/Hutzler,_Brody/gallery/DBE-000907/
swing and a miss, blame ian
Ooh, that's some nice eye candy. :P
IIII KNOW! when they brought him around to introduce him the girls and i are like "WOW" heehee
haha, "blake" is such a nerdy name. i knew one person in my life named blake. super nice...super big nerd.
i dunno, alex isnt too cool either...LOL *JK*
Haha :P
but seriously I luv Alex & Alec I think they're such chic names.
What's your friend's show?
its a soap opera. days of our lives. my friends no longer on there as he just finished directing an indie film....he wants to be behind the scenes in stead of in front of the camera.
oo! Get me a gig! an Indie, not a soap. I was so disappointed... last summer I actually got a call back for something and couldn't make the shoot. well, just as an extra, not a principal. what if I never get that chance again!
move out to Hollywood, they're always looking for extras. actually theres a site that lets you know if they're filming in your area so you can be an extra
Wow, that'd be soo nnice. Don't have the means to make a move like that at the moment tho. :(
Has anyone ever been to or does anyone know anything about the town of Hartford, CT?
Yeah I have been there before, what do you need to know?
I guess just if it's a nice town or if it's more on the side of run down.
Well, it depends where you go in Hartford, but from what I could remember its a nice New Englandish type of town...
around the aquarium area its pretty nice...part of it is pretty ghetto though
booyah
For the first time since I was 16, I got a new laptop! They were out of stock, so I have to wait for it to be delivered, but I'm really stoked. $150 in rebates, too. Yeah!!!! My current laptop is like 700 mhz; my previous was 450, and the one before that was 300. I'm so excited!!!
My company is getting me a Dell XPS laptop. Should be in this week.
They gonna let you work at home some?
Yeah. The next couple of weeks I need to be home for Emily when she gets off the bus. The aftercare program won't take her back until the new school sends a good report. Plus there is a ton of work to get done and I can't be here 24-7. So they got smart and bought me a laptop.
thats awesome tho right?
Yeah. Now I'll have a computer at home.
NICE!!! this is def a blessing in disguise!! your job is working with you and you're able to be there for your little girl!
Yeah, I guess you can look at it like that. And here I stressed myself all out last week because I didn't know what to do with her after school. We humans are nut balls. Haha
My sister's so cool why can we rent movies through cable!?!?!? SOOO COOL!
So I luv having a demonstration (in Spanish) and the microphone pooping out...WASN'T IT JUST WORKING B 4 WE WENT UP?!?! LOL
The positive, when you think you've done your worst that's when others think you've done a great job =)
bjork amuses me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92rt6VwVGsU
She's adorable. I like a few of her songs.
What's the name of the thing where you do like:
L- Likable
I- Interesting
N- Nice
etc. ?
Nevermind...acrostic. It just popped into my head.
Fact: You know your ex is nuts when they ask you how you think they look.
Answer: Just tell them you think they are ugly.
i dont get it?
My ex wanted to know if I thought she looked good. Get it now?
OHHHHH. wait she asked you this recently?
2 days ago.
WHERE'S PATTY? LISTEN, NYC TO PIT $29.00 ONE WAY THROUGH US AIRWAYS.
DO IT. NOW.
hey guys check it out!!! the famous pink/teal/blue GEO!!!
They changed my teaching observation assignment and I will now be going to JFK HS in Paterson. Um...is that like the real ghetto?
Haha - carry mace. It's nasty out there.
it can't be that bad. it's in hillcrest, right? i think that's one of the best neighborhoods.
(I was being facetious - trust Forreste.)
I don't know, buddy, you tell me--61-127, Preakness Ave, Paterson, New Jersey 07502
dad and i think it's in a good neighborhood.
I spent a week in Paterson one afternoon. (Spent time at City hall trying to convince somebody that there must be an Education Centre, somewhere around here... its big?!?) Makes for a good story... lost tourists... kinda creepy though.
ha when was this? (I used to live there ya know.)
remember what happened to my sisters car over there?
Was this her "Puerto Rican" Toyota? Didn't the jack the door up trying to break in?
They tried to rip the door off, yes. damage. savages in that town.
oh man! yes i do. i used to fear for my jetta cos i was living right next to a really sketchy part of town.
It wasn't last time I was in town.. it was fall 2002 or was it O3, a few years ago none-the-less. A crazy road trip.. 1 week from Georgetown (Canada Branch), Paterson, Brooklyn, Jersey City, Patterson, Wallkill, then a day back at London Assembly Hall and home! It was kinda a blur.
good cos you would've been in trouble if you were in my city and didn't come over for dinner!