Today is the greatest day of your life!
by Haven't started a new one in awhile and the old musings was over 1000 musings... So here we go again.
I have decided to PorkChop my favorite Jokes.
You'll see on below!
AI Summary
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Page 5 of 6
I'm going to see Brian Regan tonight!!!
he's terribly played out. he was killer like 5 years ago.
You're crazy, he's still hilarious! 10x better than someone lame like Dane Cook.
where??
State Theater in New Brunswick.
i was JUST saying two nights ago that i wanna see him again
Being sick and getting flowers best feeling EVER!
Got thank you flowers for working our big event yesterday ( bouquet of lilies & yesterday white roses w/ baby's breath)
I'm so excited about this: Donovan applied for a job he was really excited about, and for which he would be perfect in a place where I would really be excited to live. The company posted the ad on 2/6 and he sent his resume on 2/7. I'm trying not to let on that I really want him to get it, but I really want him to get it!!!! I'm really hoping that when we get home today, there'll be a message on our machine from them.
where is it? what town?
Connecticut, near Stamford.
yo what's REALLY the difference between
dual core
core duo
core duo 2
i think dual core is a generic name for everything like "car"
core duo - old and beat
core duo 2 - the new hotness
i could be wrong about this
also do all laptops have video cards that share memory? that seems kinda weak. but maybe it keeps costs down. so that could be good.
dual core: two CPUs in one! it's like having a multiprocessor machine without having two processors.
core solo: intel's single core successor to the Pentium
core duo: first version of the Dual Core version of the Core line of processors
core 2 duo: major upgrade to the core duo line. still 2 cpus, but much faster.
dad bought a pool table and they're delivering it today. we're making a giant rec room in our basement. possible karaoke stage.
did i tell you guys this? a perk to my new job, my husband and I get $500/year each towards "Mind, Body, Health" meaning FREE MASSAGES! even accupuncture/pedicures, stuff like that...but i'm using it all for massage! i have my first one next week...very exciting.
PSSSST G.F.S.ROCKS r u gonna be u know where you know when? HOLLA BACK punk!
FEB 17th
Im not going to the you know what you know when... I told you know who that I was not going be there already you know?
Aww too bad that would've been cool.
It would have been, but we will have to hangout another time... can I get a rain check?
Sounds like a plan.
does anyone have any cibo matto they could send me?
Poor Taste. I Don't Care.
WOW....anna nicole smith died
oh my goodness.
yeah, just got home and saw that. crazy. what a disastrous life.
I actually felt really bad about this. No 1 knows what made her do the things she did or for that matter what she was really like but, I was always sort of hoping she'd just clean up her life and fade into the background. I hope her daughter gets a reasonable shot @ life - stigma.
i think her daughter has a much better chance for a normal life now...
oh my gosh, i want to kill myself. the instructor for this class is going so friggin slow i want to rip my hair out just to get some relief.
Imagine you walking through the door @ home BALD
AUSTIN: So pretty intense class?
hmmm i wonder whats going on...we're having sales meetings today and tomorrow and the prez's assistant came up and asked if i was going to the meeting and i said i wasnt then she said "you need to be there, k" maybe another acquisition or the presidents retiring.
so the president of the company acknowledged us "old timers" with a gold 15 year (since element celebrates it 15 year anniversary this year) element emblem with my name and accolades. its SO awesome! im hanging that one next to the one i shaped. SO STOKED
cool.......... can i work with youuuuuuuuu....... and live there.... forever and everrrrrrrrrrr
i heard animals don't die in socal
UM HECK YES!!!!! you know im DYING for you guys to come here!!
and we have lots of sunshine...:P
awwww what a weird bunch
I love goooooooooooooooooooold
doesnt that look all pimp and cool? lol
People are just such morons - the Superintendent of a school district (a guy who should be pretty smart) sent an email to my address, Diana@*****.com, and directed his information to "Diane". Hello!?
eh, my sisters name is diana to and i spell it "diana" or "diane" lol hey its not my name....LOL
Does anyone use a good budgeting/money tracking program in linux? I'm trying to find a replacement for MS Money.
just use OpenOffice Calc
Yeah, I guess I could. But I like all the credit card interest calculators, projectors and auto pie charts in Money. Plus, I'd love something that could pull info directly from my online bank.
yeah.... you're stuck with Money or Quicken. Have you tried running them in linux with wine?
Yeah, wine is decent, but not with Money. It works well with the WT software, though. Maybe you should quit your job, stay home to take care of Mikayla, and at the same time write a linux-compatible money management app. :)
NO, linux financial apps is NILL. For all the time I wasted trying to find something for *nix I should have invested into just buying MS money.
im so stoked to live in SoCal
HUMINA HUMINA! that bag i've been eyeing up on ebay only has 2 hrs 30 mins left and it's still at $100 bucks!!! It retails for $400!!!!! I HOPE I GET IT!
oooooo what brand??
Coach...15 minutes left and still at $100.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
stupid reserve price wasnt met at $170. but the buy it now price is $235. grrr i can't handle this.
why don't you just buy it now? your still only paying 235 bucks for a 400 dollar bag.
but even so, it's pretty ridiculous. i saw the bag, and i honestly don't see what's so great about it. i mean it nice... i guess. but definitely not $400 nice. or even $100 nice in my opinion..i guess it's just a woman thing. women always have to plenty of bags, at least 100,000 in order to feel comfortable.
women... what an enigma
haha, i am in love with the bag! and i don't have a ton of bags...i mean i have prob 10-12 $20-$40 bags but this will only be my 3rd designer bag. and the reason i don't want to pay the $235 is because it's used, so i figured it should be CHEAP! haha
UPDATE: ASAP!
didnt get it...not yet. :(
thats still a good price. my friends niece works at the Coach outlet in Cabazon (socal) and got me a purse (with her discount) for $114. thats with tax and all. its the big hobo bag one.
i miss the polls....so i'm going to make up my own right here...
Which forum do you get a little giddy about when you see "NEW" next to it.... in other words:
What's Your Favorite Forum?
General Chat
Book Club
Music Talk
Geek Chat
Movies & TV
Games
Macking
Programming
Sports
Food
Mine is FOOD! Cooking it, eating it, chatting about it...FOOD! haha
Mine is food too!
Movies & TV, Music, Games.
Macking, Movies & TV, Sports, Games
music of course
bahaha the numa numa guy is from bergen county, nj! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Brolsma
My throat hurts so I basically sound like I swallowed a frog or James Earl Jones. I was saying good night @ work and my voice dropped so low my co-worker says "That was NOT just you."
Well, YES YES IT WAS ME DANG IT ALL! *stomps foot*
I guess like that only made me sound like a southern man =/
hahahahaha, great likenesses
I have a container...32 oz of hummus! And a package of ritz crackers.
I am fat and happy.
Definitely a fan of fat and happy.
Last night after helping boss #1 set up for his meeting I harassed him about saving me goodies...Today while I was awaiting a FREE LUNCH my department (ordered in in prep for tomorrows event) I enjoyed fantabulous stash of goodies my boss salvaged and then ate five slices of pizza once it arrived.
Later a tray appeared with veggie wraps, Tuna wraps, pastries including but, not limited to Chocolate Rugala, Sugar cookies, Chocolate chips cookies....
I had five sugar cookies and washed them down with Brisk YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssss!
Mmmm this sounds like a good day!!
Even better day today. Even though I'm totally sick everyone loved my sweater & shoes....Then there were these great catered bagged lunches, Grilled Salmon in a Teriyaki sauce served on wild rice, or Grilled veggies w/ wr, OOOOR Grilled chicken in a red sauce w/wr. Got a Salmon & a Chicken for those under my very own roof, ATE 1 grilled veggie combo & saved another for dinner =)
YUM YUM YUM GOING STRAIGHT TO THE HIPS & BUM!
i love hummos! especially when it's really lemon-y.
Ok - this is funny and it's killing me not to tell someone.
One of my co-workers, Robin, is literally the most dramatic person I've ever met.
First, she was out sick yesterday. (Not that that's bad, but one of the other girls here had to call her to see if something was done, and the girl said Robin kept her on the phone for like 10 minutes, explaining every detail about how sick she was, and very specifically what was wrong, if you know what I mean.)
Earlier, one of the attorneys walked by her cube and she was sitting on the floor, holding her stomach. The attorney asked what was wrong, and she said she had really sharp pains in her stomach.
'Can we do anything for you?' The attorney and I posed.
'No, no, I'll just have to live with it.' (grimaces and clenches teeth)
'Ok...' We walk away. I told the office manager, who laughed out loud, knowing how dramatic Robin is. The office manager asked if she needed to go home, and Robin said, 'Oh... I don't know if anyone could take me.' I offered to drive her, and she said no. Ok, fine, we walk away.
A couple minutes later, I asked her if I could get her some soda or something else to try to settle her stomach.
'Oh, oh... I don't think anything would help.'
'Well you have to do something, you can't lie there all afternoon.'
'Maybe soda would be good. My friend is coming to pick me up and take me home.'
'Great! I'll grab you a ginger ale.'
(I proceeds to walk to the convenience store downstairs, spend her last single (which she was saving for chocolate) on ginger ale.)
I handed her the soda, and she grimaced in pain again. Then she picked up the phone, called her mom, and started crying on the phone.
Me: 'Maybe you should have your friend take you to the hospital rather than home.'
Robin: 'They won't help me at all there. They'll just make me wait for hours.'
Me: 'They'll tell you if something's really wrong, or if you just have bad indigestion.'
Robin: (without responding, continues grimacing in pain)
A couple minutes later, the office manager told me she was heading to the bathroom (presumably to "fix" the problem) with tears in her eyes.
Another couple minutes later, random people walked into my cube asking if she was ok. I said yes, but I thought she was just being dramatic. Every single person smiled and nodded (so I'm not being overly callous).
Now she's got her head down on her desk, and is sighing loudly every few minutes.
Anyone wanna come work at my office? :P
Come on! This is hilarious! Now she's trying to convince her friend to carry her to her car. (She's not a little person, btw.)
NOW, she's walking around smiling and looking fine. She asked me to mail a letter for her and said "Sorry for the melodrama". Ha! What's wrong with people!?
Totally! She just called to ask me to do one more thing for her and said she was stuck in traffic: "I can't even get home!" she cried.
I just love that you have a dramatic Robin @ your office and we do to!
It just so happens she's the reason I JUST got home.
Ours is the kind of person you confirm something with and within the space of 5 min she's already come back and re-asked & harass you on the same topicyou already discussed three or four more times, just to be sure
The sad part is that ours is a really great person, doesn't realize she does it, and and although people have explained this to her she just doesn't get it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG talk about drama. i'd kick her.
my annoying co-worker is a hypochondriac and she's drama about everything too. she's like that when she's sick and i just ignore her. one time it was SO bad, we all decided to ignore her and she was totally stunned no one paid attention to her she got mad. LOL im like "until you fall over in a coma we'll call 911 and tend to you" after that she recovered soooo fast! lol
Haha!
shaquistica!
Hey Ian, does your job let you work from home to care for Mikayla? Or is she good on her own? I know when I was laid up, I was alone and watching that debacle of a 2000 presidential election nonsense with Al Gore whining about votes. I ended up losing 10 pounds or so because it hurt too much to walk to the refrigerator. Haha...
I did work from home a bunch of days the first 2 weeks, and I also took some vacation. Plus, her mom stayed with us for the first week.
She's able to get around the house pretty good now. This past Monday was big step forward for her, she's really a lot more mobile now. She's been home alone for the past week or so, though. It's definitely getting to her.. laying in that CPM machine 8 hours a day, plus being on her back for a full month is a killer on her back and her sanity.. hehe
I hated the CPM machine! It felt like a torture device. My old couch had a dent in the cushion from me lying in the same spot for 3 weeks straight. Haha... The reason I ask about you working from home, I've been pushing my company to give me a laptop to take home. When I have issues with the kids, I have to leave. The price of being Mr. Mom. It amazes me how many people I know are able to work from home and someone like me who really needs that ability because of my circumstances, gets shafted. I have all the engineers here on my side about it. It's a matter of our boss pulling the trigger to order the stinking thing. Good to see your company lets you do that. Obviously you needed to be home with your wife.
this is going to be hard to explain but my boss and her husband are from philly and his job agreed to pay for him to rent an apartment there for the two days a week he would be in the office and the other three days he worked from north jersey. explain to them this situation and say how a laptop is not as expensive as an apartment...or training a new eingneer
The head of our division is an idiot. He questions us if we buy too many paper clips. People who are sales oriented have no clue what it takes to engineer anything.
What a lousy morning...
thank you debbie downer.
TEE HEE DEBBIE DOWNER!
We're not talking about Little Debbie snack cakes Mike, so calm down. ;oP
Dude, if I explained my morning you'd be on Prozac just from hearing about it.
awww im sorry my bruddah!!! i hope all goes well!
*and i've had plenty of "prozac" days too lol
hang in there!!!
Yeah...Hanging in there is all you can do.
SNOWWWWW! My job class was delayed two hours this morning. woot woot
So I'm still thinking about getting a new job --- the only one I can get excited about is cooking. I'm starting to feel really sick of office jobs.
Ok, yeah, I definitely need a new job. The attorney I work for just called me into her office to tell me about two stupid mistakes I just made. Why did I make them? Because I don't care anymore! I'm done with this place.
what are you seriously considering doing?
i would really love to be a personal chef for a family...just on the side...like Giada DeLaurentis did. She would cook everything in her own house, and deliver it to the family. I think that's so cool.
Yeah, I would really like that. And the area where Donovan is finding jobs he likes is affluent enough for that to work. I found some ads in the local paper for personal chefs. Realistically, though, I might have to work for a college, cafeteria, or old age community to get experience just as a line cook. The bonus there is that it's all day time. The drawback is that it's entry level - chefs yelling at me and less-than-exciting pay. I mean, my ideal would be a job as a sous chef at a nice restaurant, but that's almost always going to be nights and weekends, and unless Donovan works those hours too, I'd never get to see him. I keep telling him to find a job he can telecommute to, do it at night, and let me be a chef somewhere (that's more a joke, though).
You're hired!! Haha...
last night at the meeting, the brother is reading off the aux pioneers and the last name he says: BROTHER Forreste Valenti.
you're a sexy piece of man-meat, aren't ya
Hahaha! I needed to laugh, E, thanks! (And sorry, Forreste!)
Maybe they'll give you privileges, Fresty! Like..you can start giving public talks.
hah elderette.
So, i actually went into a Pet-loss-support chat room. yeah. Getting desperate I guess.
Anyway I was describing what happened to Munchkin and someone responded that it sounds like heart failure and it happened to her cat and her dog, and that it's very hard to diagnose, but once it is diagnosed there is no treatment, there is nothing they can do. It's genetic and it can happen at any time.
So if I gave Munchkin more time, she would have just suffered quietly for a couple more hours, maybe a day, and she would have died anyway.
So, that actually made me feel a lot better.
awww thats not desparate hun! you're dealing with it your way and if thats what helps DO IT!!!
must thaw out. i wore so many layers in service today that i couldn't put my arms down at my side. it was a great day though. we did the wrong street and i got an awesome call. annnnd a woman sent her dog after us.
Whomever said something about crunching helping snack cravings the other day was totally right - I wanted chips earlier today, but I'm munching on carrot sticks now and I don't crave the chips anymore. What a fantastic tip!
Song of the Day...
Less Than Jake : History of a Boring Town
A boring life in a boring town
with the same old crowd.
When I used to say, that I'd never say
that I'm rotting here today.
With that same old crowd
thats always been around.
NAY*
*see comment #242 /comments/show/320039
socal i was just thinking this morning on how these are the best sunglasses i have ever gotten
VZ's are awesome! they're up there with gucci for me! *italian made! let me know if you guys need another pair
I'll be there this weekend friday night - monday afternoon
ok kam, maybe this will make you laugh. i dont know if you and yay remember all the big planters we have down the hall? well this morning i was rounding the corner and slipped and tried to grab onto something to break my fall and grabbed onto the planter, fell on my side (sliding into third base style) and the planter fell on me. im still picking fuzzy's from it out of my hair.
dude it was SO funny!!!
*at my office*
crazy. something similar happened to me when my kingdom hall was being built years ago. it was winter. i was running in to get some chile and i slipped on some ice down an incline... in the ruckus i kicked a nearby latter and it fell on me. i just remember seeing it fall all slow and balling myself up, covering my head, lol. it banged up my arms and legs pretty good. a couple brothers saw and were DYING laughing. i pushed the latter off and thought "did that just freaking happen?!"
HAHAHAHA omg thats so funny. i saw my whole life flash before my eyes! LOL
im kinda used to stuff like that tho, im pretty much a klutz so its inevitable i'll land on the floor at some point. LOL
lol... yeah a good fall is always fun to hear about lolol
LOL you should've seen how funny it looked. i was bummed (in a way) i was by myself cause i looked like a fool laughing at myself by myself. LOL
haha thats hilarious, sounds like something i would do.
anyone know where there is an abercrombie and fitch outlet store ? I need to buy a gift for someone
Jersey Gardens? Definitely not Woodbury Commons, I was there last week.
try at your local marshalls and tj-maxx because i was there last night and they had a ton of abercrombie jackets and stuff. it wont have everything, but just a suggestion
have you ever shopped at Ross? (i love TJ MAXX and Marshalls) but Ross is the best..it has all the same stuff but it runs quite a bit cheaper than other discount stores.
do you think it's a pa thing? because i have never heard of them around here.
yea, it might be...i hadn't heard of it til i moved here...
http://ross.know-where.com/ross/
They are almost everywhere....
the thing i hate the most right now about losing my pet is that it is ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT
it's driving me insane
the "what if's" and the "shoulda woulda coulda's"
insane!! :( i want it to stop!!
What are you worried that you should've done?
i feel like i should have given her more time and maybe somehow she would have pulled through
even though she seemed to get WORSE in the 2 hours from when she first collapsed to when the vet told us that she's blind and deaf and severely anemic and they don't know what caused it..... i feel like.. i should have at least tried to .. i duno.. someow give her time to .. i duno! pull through. Ifeel like it was so crazy and shocking and I just wanted her suffering to end but at the same time I wasn't thinking clearly and maybe she needed more time.
I know it's so stupid and selfish to think that way but I just can't help it I feel so guilty!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH I just really want my brain to think about something else ghhhh
Awww! It's not stupid and selfish to want more time with a pet you love. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
you know what it is too, I have been fortunate enough in life so that I haven't experienced too much loss. So it's like I don't even know how to deal with this right now and I hate it.. I'm sure in a couple of days I'll be okay but just right now it's like geeeeeeeeeezzzzz think about something else already!!!!
and I hate how my mind flashes from the first moment I saw Munchkin to the last - like it was a span of 2 seconds not 8 years
I hate it i just hate all of it
Maybe you should give yourself some time with no music, no tv, no one else, just alone, to think about your kitty and all the happy memories you have. Give yourself time, and you'll look back and smile rather than look back and cry. :)
im sorry hun!!!
and YES in a couple of days you'll be fine but the loss of a pet is horrible. dont be hard on yourself with the coulda woulda shoulda's. thats all they are. just hang in there...maybe a good cry and cookies will help ease the pain.
*HUGS*
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen
Mikayla Update?
She's still in a lot of pain, but she made a LOT of progress today alone with physical therapy. She's doing great! I'm really proud of her.
Oh no, I'm sorry she's uncomfortable but, I'm glad she's working through it.
if you google "matt kelly" the first thing that comes up is
DJ Magic Matt Kelly
Yeah and he looks like this:
it's like Matt Kelly and Dan Hill's lovechild
that made my wife laugh out loud
haha! that matt kelly is such a fruitcake!!
So I guess he isnt that different from the original... hahaha
har har!
travis has a new album in the works possibly named after this short: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A11536931
my mom and i went to a day spa over the weekend and OMG i had THE BEST masseuse EVER! he's my favorite person now! i had the deep tissue massage and let me tell you he worked out every kink i had in my neck and shoulders! and he was blind, but oh so hot and was SO active! i was in awe! he surfs, and does brazilian jujitsu and has won a couple of titles! i love when people dont let their handicap get in the way of enjoying themselves!!
i hate blind people!
ugh, i am a people hater. wellspan (my company) instituted this no smoking policy, meaning no smoking in any facility OR on any of the facilities grounds. Plus a fragrence policy meaning you can't come in stinking like smoke. so our instructor for the week reiterated this...and like 20 mins later this women...like 60 years old...is like..."my lungs are calling to me" because she needed a smoke. ugh, smoking is so disgusting, and i just can't even stand that women now, because of the way she said she needed a cigarette. then she comes in from her smoke break, stinking like smoke. idiot.
i have zero tolerance for people who smoke-they're dumb.
i have this training session for my job this week...it's M-F 8:00-4:00. it's all on the registration system this company uses, and the program is designed for people who, i think are completely computer illiterate. so i keep getting done so far ahead of everyone else, and i have nothing to do. meow
did anyone see the Ellen Degeneras stand-up special on comedy central last night? SHE IS HYSTERICAL! first time i've seen her do stand up....it was sooo funny, and she's really clean.
And she is a lesbian...
you're a lesbian. (because you like girls)
that would make you a homo. (because you like guys)
they are all called homos...homo. haha
so?! she's still funny. Don't worry you're not gonna catch "the gay" by listening to her jokes. haha.
i agree! i think she's so funny! she knows when to end the joke and move on, not to mention she's silly.
and i dont care if she swings the other way. im not going to get les cooties by watching her. lol
I've seen her old routine...really awesome stuff!!
FROST BITE WARNING
Bundle up people, I am triple layered to keep my skivvies warm...def warming up the car.
yea i stayed home today cos that wind was whippin. no one meets the group on monday if it's brittley cold.
hahah me too. i almost got up but saw a negative five for the weather and just went back to bed.
oh man, we went out in service on saturday, and i was dressed really warm, but even when i got home, it wasnt one of those days, that i was like, even though it was difficult, i'm still happy i went...no...i was sooo miserable even after i got home, it took me so long to get warmed up...i seriously could not feel my feet. it was awful.
aw i feel bad for you guys! it was nice and in the 80's the whole weekend! but they're expecting a storm by weeks end. so we're enjoying it as much as we can!
worst.day.ever.
we just had to put my cat Munchkin to sleep
she was the best cat ever and she suddenly got very ill and the vet didn't know what it was and it would have taken thousands of dollars and a few days to figure it out and we didn't want her to suffer
soooo yeah this is the worst day ever
I remember Munch. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry :(
I know it isn't much comfort, but at least she isn't in pain anymore because that really is awful to watch.
oh no not munchkin!! i'm so sorry, kamila.
yeah i never EVER thought Munchkin would go first. The other cat, Tommy, is the one that's always puking always sick and just an all around human-hater. Muchkin = puppy .. best cat ever... :( sooo sad
Sorry to hear this another girlfriend of mine had to do the same not too long ago =(
*BIGGER HUGS*
I'm so sorry!
awww! :( that is so sad. i have nightmares about having to put my pets to sleep. thats so awful. are you going to get a new little companion?
i don't know, only if i can find an exact clone of Munchkin haha
maybe when you guys get a puppy, then they can grow up together.
aw lady! im SO sorry!!!! *HUGS*
Ian... a fellow Subie driver... Oh my!!
http://www.autospies.com/news/Video-This-Guy-Surely-Has-a-Guardian-Angel-to-Survive-This-12252/
Don't try it ok!!
Caption this!
"i'm gay. i'm not gay. i'm gay. i'm not gay. i'm gay. i'm not gay."
You clearly win on this one.
OMG all of these are so funny...on SO many levels!!!
So, I'm doing like the easiest job in A.C. now at the Boat convention. With like no real "boss." Wish I had it longer than 3 days time. Hopefully, I'll get to work promotions at other events when they come around tho.
Where is this boat show of which you speak (besides Atlantic City) indoor convention center? Close to any other cool places? Have fun don't talk to strangers! =D