Today is the greatest day of your life!
by Haven't started a new one in awhile and the old musings was over 1000 musings... So here we go again.
I have decided to PorkChop my favorite Jokes.
You'll see on below!
AI Summary
1,305 Comments
Page 4 of 6
Song of the Day:
Supertramp - Breakfast in America
wow beyonce looks HOT on the cover of the SI swimsuit edition
is anybody else sick of all this beyonce love? (not you, socal; in the media)
i don't get it.
LOL i get what you mean....at least she's not like paris. at least she's gorgeous to look at. LOL
how come if a guy says another guy is "gorgeous to look at" he is rightfully called gay. but if a woman says the same thing about another woman, it is totally normal???
cause guys arent as confident as girls. DUH
hmmm. maybe you're right,but i still think a guy could say that with all the confidence in the world, and people would still tell him he was gay.
because as a society guys are trained that they must be homo-phobic OR homo-sexual theer is no inbetween
so, no crying, no saying another man is goodlooking, no being sensitive, because then you're obviously gay
OOOOR dancing together. LOL
or wearing makeup
or having breasts
hello thai
seriously snow tires are better, but still not great
i've never driven on snows.. but AWD is really nice to have. i'd love to try snows on my car.
yeah man spend the money and get em, it's worth it
i got 17's stock on my car, so i got 15 inch snow tires with steel wheels
it looks mad ghetto but well worth it
true story, an elder in my hall has a WRX that he loves, i took him for a ride and he was instantly trying to figure out how to make his car faster
he comes up to me all sad at the meeting when i put my snow tires on and goes "i'm sorry about your car ... did someone steal your rims and tires?" i couldn't figure out what he was talking about, i'm thinkin, did someone break into my mom's garage and steal my stuff? ... until i realized what he meant... and i was like "nooo ... those are my snow tires"
I wish I had space to keep an extra set of tires around. You keep your regular tires and rims at your mom's?
What about your car made him want to make his WRX faster? What kind of car do you have?
ian, do you think you can just THROW out shortened terms and expect us to just TAKE them? no... they are SNOW TIRES... not snows...
thank you, and good day
I SAID GOOD DAY!
snows snows snows SNOWS
i will bomb you with snowballs as you walk into your apt tonight...
or would you pour water on his door handles again?
what! this better never happen.
actually, i have frosted flakes at home. try something, schiano! try anything! i dare you
this has never been proven....
nevermind snowballs. wait on the inside with a huge shovel full of snow. when he opens the door smash him with it, push him down, then close the door. escape through the rear exit.
have i mentioned i am in love with you....?
man it's so bad out. i don't know why our office is open today. i couldn't get my car out this morning even though it has four wheel drive, austin had to drive me in, in the truck.
dan hall is an emo kid.
Haha... you are always good for a laugh Alex.
MONSTER I MISS YOU!!!! VINCIENZO ritornato a me!
oh, my... I am blushing
non sia timido con me...it's just me ;)
every year i look forward to the three most important words I love to hear:
'Pitchers and Catchers'
its a beautiful time
Don't let that Emo kid Alex hear you say that. haha... I'll be spending the first day of spring training in South Texas. Too bad there are no camps there.
what? are you gay now?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! i'm dying of boredom from your baseball talk!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!
4 inches in 20 minutes. I don't think can ever remember that much snow at once.
I can't complain they bought us lunch (even though I couldn't eat turkey, roast beef, or egg salad sandwiches) ONTOP of that they all admit it was STUPID for the company to have remained open at all ANNNNNND gave us (all those who came in) a comp day to use at our discretion.
hahahaha
Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz has admitted that he kisses boys and will do anything with anyone "above the waist"
WHAT A GHEY!!!
haha
Google today says Googe
On the plus side of this snowy day, my office is ordering pizza for the whole staff. That's pretty cool.
i think someone put my head in a vise grip while i was sleeping. :(
me too!!!! such a bad headache!
someone has my lungs in a vice...not fun
*i hope you and kam feel better
hope you two feel better also. i'd still be in bed, but i have to go down to unemployment.
Gangster Feet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCep9zmBQYM&eurl=
hahah awww that was cute. cutest movie too
my work was cancelled yesterday and today! woot woot.
yeah down in Atlantic City area the ocean is angry but it's just raining and 40-something degrees
blah
ah blizzard! i'm in heaven. it would be even better if i could get to some of that fresh powder on the mountain with my board. i could pretend i'm out west.
HAHA! This is awesome. HALO theme by some kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLt5_ME_2_M
SNOW DAY!!!
Awww MAN LUCKY! Ours was only delayed until 10 so I'm getting ready now...There's freezing rain here ontop of the snow =(
how was my work NOT cancelled?!
SORRY! You're not alone I'm totally tardy but, my boss already called and was like drive slowly and get there whenever I get there, she's pretty kewl.
Yeaah my school was only delayed opening until 11:30. My class is at 1. I am making the decision not to go!
all my classes got cancelled but even if they didn't there was so way i was gonna go.
Today's my stupid day where I only have one...I don't understand how it wasn't canceled, though. Parts of Route 80 are closed (or were)!
Woohoo!
I'm working from home today, as it seems like everyone else from my office is. My mom's work is closed today, too. My dad's working from home.
you guys bite! we NEVER get snow days! BUUUUUT i will brag, its going to be 75 today and hitting the 80's come friday! WOOT WOOT
I am also "working" from home. Good stuff.
They didn't plow our main, snow emergency route until about 9:20, I'm told by Donovan. So I'm glad I put on my snowboarding gear and walked. Except now I'm amazingly hot!
I may end up walking home too. Donovan left his job at like 1 because he thought it was so ridiculous that they stayed open, then he called me when he got home and said the roads were so bad, he would rather walk to meet me then drive the 8 blocks between my office and home to pick me up. That's pretty crazy, since Donovan usually loves driving in snow. The DOT in this town is horrible!
I FOUND NOOZLES on youtube WOOT! Can't sleep antsy about snow =D
eek everyone be careful driving out there
so icy!
3 words that should NEVER be together....MENS SLIM FIT
I HATE the slim fit look! i tell the designers ALL the time. guys look GROSS In slim fit
angela just bought me some jeans, it's so hard to find jeans that fit and these actually do. they're size 36 waist. THIRTY SIX!!! i mean i know i'm not a bean pole but that's ridiculous that i have to buy jeans that big. the new style is this emo look i guess
No way...You are slimmer than I am and I fit in size 34.
i know man. it's the styles these days.
plus i have huge masculine legs. like a bodybuilder
My thighs are thick too. I wear a loose fit style to accomodate my legs. The 34 waste is still slightly too big. I'm more of a 33. I could care less what the scrawny little boys wear. I'm almost 30.
i know, well this trend is slowly passing. they're making everything slimmer for guys. during our sales meeting one of the reps said (to the designers) "THANKS A LOT FOR GIVING ME A COMPLEX now i feel fatter cause i have to go up a few sizes cause of your lame slim fit" hahaha we all started laughing.
i wear 36-38 and i like my jeans below my waist... its anoyying, cause the LEG part is what kills me... the waist might be fine, but soo tight my thighs... stupid emo kids and their tiny little bodies.
yeah that's just it, they look like scuba diving gear on me
ask mike about the element pants....
*member todd?? haha
So I'm kinda nervous - I was given this project by one of the attorneys about a month ago, I haven't done it, and now it's due in two weeks. I don't think I'll be able to get the docs I need in time... I was hoping to have quit by now and just ignored the whole thing.
i say, just don't worry about it. maybe you'll get fired!
Haha!
....
yea..
maybe...
gina! bummer we couldn't meet up.
rented a convertible had a good time cruising the PCH and partying in hollywood! Next time!!
I KNOW! im so bummed. i ended up not going to circuit on sunday...i got really sick (lungs) and was in bed the whole day and yesterday. where in hollywood did you go? you got some rain tho huh? did you hit up OC at all?
OOOOO how was the traffic with the grammy's and all?
hung out in newport and laguna beach a bit.
and in hollywood we just bar hopped on sunset
Miyagis, some hawaiin place, some other hotel place, and the saddle ranch.
what'd you think of saddle ranch? did you ride the bull? ive been on it once. LOL
you need to come out again!!! DEF!!! hollywoods awesome huh?
oh yea. One of the greatest times ever.
I wanted to break into the chateau marmont
you could go in to bar marmont. thats the bar inside the hotel.
hey we're having a fashion show (billabong) at hyde in april...you should plan on coming out...
so No.Jersey is it snowing for you guys?
NO ... argh .
hey good job returning my call, by the way.
sorry sparky-we were away for the weekend and i didn't get home til 9pm last night (did you really want me to call you in the middle of jack's latest crisis?) i'll call later today.
oh, by the way they are calling for anywhere from 20-36 inches of snow so this weekend will be good times. maybe there will even be enough snow to hike the top parts of whiteface.
it's "heavy flurrying" in Atlantic City, it has been since 7 a.m... not realy sticking
Yeah I hear on the weather map there's literally a doughnut over Morris County so everywhere else it's snowed or beginning to snow. Plus it was REALLY sunny where I was today so, I don't think we're gonna get anything crazy.
Three months of no snow! No precipitaion of any kind and they decide to cram it all in the next 2 days -I was supposed to go for my license tomorrow.. No mas
the universe doesn't want you to get your liscense.
This doesn't suck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AKTkzAO2_8
So A picture is worth a thousand words...
more like a thousand pounds...
hmm that's a good one to put in my car in case i'm ever driving and think about going to McDonalds for a quick meal instead of cooking something healthy
good aversion therapy
this is so unhealthy, lol
I don't know why but I was sure a slang term for legs was stems...so I did a quick search and instead found an array of bizarre terms & expressions I've never heard anywhere before http://www.miskatonic.org/slang.html
So for legs we have Getaway Sticks this is so about my legs =D
anyone seen this yet? HILARIOUS, even if a repost
WHOA this was freakiN' funny ROFL
THAT FAIRY FLEW RIGHT OFF THE STAGE!!!
That..was great!
HAHA!! so funny, what a fruitcake!! letterman was being such a jerk to him too that was great
I like how they played tutti frutti
nice touch, although i'm sure he doesn't "have a gal named daisy"
::still reeling from My Humps winning a grammy::
Edit: Reeling - maybe i used the incorrect word.. but I meant this in a BAD way
like.. as in.. I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY WON
as in... I cannot believe the state of music these days
as in... what in the world.. who.. WHO votes for this crap...
the end
are you flippin serious? For what, Most undeservedly-overplayed song by a reptile?
greatest song of the year, DUH!
I only just found out what all that gumflap was about. If that kinda song can top charts and win a Grammy... I should be a wealthy woman I could retire young and pioneer into the new system *GRINDS TEETH @ world's stupidity*
this makes me sad. and here i thought the whole band should have been put to death over this song. different strokes.
i agree with you BV, see my edit haha
i understood your meaning. good edit anyway. nothing uncertain. lol
o ok, i thought you were "sad" because you thought I was .. happy.. and i got confused and wondered, snap.. did i use the wrong word?
ahhhhhhhhhhh.. all is well now
i have to agree with you guys that it is a sad state of affairs when that crap is considered the best stuff out there. the only thing worse to win would have been fergie's "London Bridge". The people in this country are being increasingly dumbed down-it's infuriating.
i babysat overnight and the baby got sick. she cried all night. her older brother was supposed to bring the cat's litter pan in from the porch before he went to bed but he forgot. so the cats peed on me and the baby in bed. oh the excitement!
Sorry I'm sure it wasn't funny @ the time* but, it sounds like this cute little misadventure. PLUS you're a pro @ this stuff y now YOU'RE A VALENTI ;)
*Especially w/ the poor lil baby being sick
seeeee, good things come to those who wait...you were all telling me to buy that coach bag for $235 w/ $14 shipping..and it was used...i just won my bag BRAND NEW for $241 including shipping. YIPPIE! it was a hard wait...but worth it!
ezabel needs new people. iwz should advertise! everyone on this joint is old and salty. lol
hey, say hi to your mom for me.
oh, go open up your wrist or something
hey, you are pretty hot.
Aww how cute. Two sumo wrestlers are flirting...
watching it little man, dont make me break your other knee...
It ain't broke anymore son. Strong like wood.
it does need new people! i wonder if i let people make new accounts, if anyone would.
try to go one week without any salt. it's impossible! salt adds flavor. haha
okay, so what's the deal with the snow? first i hear it's supposed to be today, then tomorrow, now wednesday? is it ever going to come!?!?
I dunno I hear it's supposed to start tomorrow evening/night and go into Wednesday...In any event LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW =D
So I get the key out of the lockbox, open the door, go into the kitchen to set up for my Open House & my eyes hover the fridge, and I see a baby picture with the last name of someone I know in the other Congregation that goes to my Hall. I said... hmmm. Then I read the little note about the Baby's height and weight and birth and further down I see it says Parents' names that I know. I say... hmm. That's more than a last name coincidence, that must be their baby... I wonder who lives here. I make my way through the house to review it's features and everything real quick before I get guests coming in... and in the first bedroom I go into.. my eyes lock with the library of books against the wall. It's dozens of Watch Tower and Awake bound volumes! and other books of ours as well! I said. . . wow. At first I thought maybe their a relative of such and such in East Congregation. But, now of course I'm thinking they must be a Witness in East. At one point I look back at the fridge for clues to who lives here. I see a note paper on the fridge with Elder's names and phone numbers and other Friend's numbers. I see my home telephone number on the fridge! Then I look around for pictures, to see if I can find out what the homeowner looks like, and I can place name to face. Well, turns out I didn't even realize at first, but she was going to our Congregation. Unfortunately failing health is getting to her tho. But talk about a weird coincidence. There's so many people in my Congregation. It's impossible to immediately recall everyone. Let alone where they live at. And looking for a good house to sit at this weekend for an Open, I happened to pick out the house of a Witness. There was a New World Translation Bible on the top of the Washing Machine exposed to all the guests that came. Hopefully it made a good Witness to them.
Pretty cool story. The west hall is massive. I visited a few weeks ago and got there 5 minutes early and could barely find a seat. And our lil congregation in the East chug chug chuggin' along. HALF the size.
Crazy.
I went to East a couple, or a few times this new year so far. I'll never be able to make 9am meetings. It's like humanly impossibly for me.
Is it me or is Corinne Bailey Rae devastatingly beautiful.
its you. i don't think she's very pretty at all. average at best.
holy schnikes! you told me!
blehack
lol what does that even mean?
just made it up on the fly hahaha
a combo of "bleh" plus "hack" = defination - sigh made a separate party when someone is extraordinarily unbeautiful and neither "bleh" nor "hack" are sufficient enough by themselves to explain the dis-please.
oops forgot a word in there. *sigh made by a...
it's you. unless by "devastatingly" you mean "not"
Meaning to call you yesterday, I accidently called a Coldwell Banker agent with the name Brian. Thought it was you in my cell's phonebook and wanted to ask you a question, since when I got into my open house, I suddenly see the Bower's baby on the fridge. I was like wha?
The Bowers! My homies. Cute kid. Do you know how much that joint appraised for?
Weight? 7 lbs and something. Forget the ounces. But it was on her fridge, that's how I know hahaha. Had the weight and height. 21 inches I think, if I remember correctly? That was the first time I saw the baby. Yesterday, from the picture at my Open House haha. Didn't even know his name before yesterday either. (The house - just reduced to $180,000 hahaha)
That can't be right. $180,000. We must be talking about a different house.
ewww i think its just you. like i dont even like seeing her interviews. shes annoying, shes like that odd girl in the group that no one likes being around cause she's jsut so annoying. LOL
okay okay okay, i get it
sheesh
she's pretty but i just wanted to let you know i jut got an email from njpac for the presale of tickets for her and john legend. just to let you know she'll be in the area.
okay, so i went to long island this weekend..and went to the best store ever...CENTURY 21. i can't believe i lived there for 21 years...well the store has only been around 3 or 4 years...but all that time i never went...IT'S SO GOOD! it's like a supersize tj maxx! but more highend stuff. i got a bunch of stuff for me and Austin and it was all so cheap! YAY!
I love Century 21!! There's a big one in Morristown I always go to.
12 feet of snow in upstate NY... whaa.... TWELVE FEET?!?!
what global warming..?
guys u gotta see this. it's our CTO trying to figure out the new parking lot security gate... all caught on the security camera and set to silent movie music!
best part about this video... NOT only does everyone on campus have a copy of this cause of people uploading it and what not, but the MAYOR of town saw the video... HAHAHAHAHAHA
he will never live it down.
haha that's great! so, what's the trick to getting the gate to open?
there's a bar code that you need to have on the side of your car, he put it on sideways
pu edis siht
snap! i thought you said a bad word.
hahahahaha that was great!! I love how after they drove over the curb the gate opened... hahaha so funny!
Norbit... earned 33 million this weekend
I wanted to see how many idiots there are in this country so I actually divided 33,000,000 by 9 (approximate/average cost of a movie ticket) and the result is 3,666,666
The number 666 .. twice...
coincidence? i think not
i feel guilty, but i kinda wanna see it. i'm still a film snob, but i cave for black fat suit movies.
ohhhh BV... why... WHYYY
I wanna see it to SEE IT WITH MEEEEEEE!!!!
how could u not want to see it? its got thandie newton in it!
Hands down THE worst Grammy awards winner list ever. who decides these things!? 3 selections were... PASSABLE:
Gnarls won best alternative-- DESERVED. Luda got best rap song for Money-Maker. Chamilionaire and Krayzie Bone for rap duo. Good calls.
The rest were really, really, really bad calls.
yeah.............................................. seriusly
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! Jahanna where are you?!?! I'm in LOVE...w/
bracelet?? where did you see it??
ice.com it's almost a bargain...sort of.
so, yesterday, there's an envelope in the mail, from the vet. I seriously thought that there was gonna be a note inside saying "GOTCHA! Your cat's totally alive, come pick her up!"
yeah no
it was a condolance card with Munchkin's paw prints
ugh :(
I'm sooo sorry Kam =( I'll send you my # you can call me anytime sweetie.
all of a sudden I have 12 rental leads within a matter of less than these past 2 days . crap . it's raining business
say it aint so
i will not go
turn the lights off
carry me home
my little windmill
"I just had the weirdest dream"
"You know you're driving, right?
oh man Reno911 the movie, it's going to be amazing
haha that commercial cracks me up. oh man.. when they're trying to roll the beached whale over.... ugggggg
ARRRRRRR :(
wait.. what.. why... why sad... what.. no.. nooo.. nooooooooooo
dood, that beached whale thing made me gag. i'm not even kidding.
He is not human...He is like a piece of iron...
I see three of him out there...
Hit the one in the middle...
I must break you...