Dr. Cox: I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy-dog tails, where you obviously, if not grew up then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now. Nnnnn-kay?

Favorite:
J.D.: Stick to the truth and you can't get hurt, that's my philosophy.
Dr. Cox: You didn't sleep with her did ya?
J.D.: God, no!
J.D.'s Narration: Philosophy is tricky.